My friend has an ex who is one because he cheated on her.
Before he did, though, I remember my now-husband telling me he would likely cheat on her.
My husband and I were dating then, while she was with the ex, so we often went on double-dates.
From our interactions, my husband was able to see that he was a potential cheat.
Of course, I berated him for saying that because my friend was happy – or so I thought – and she never told me he was messing with other girls.
Fast forward to after his prophecy came to pass, I asked him how he knew, and he said, “The signs are always there.”
But what were the signs, and how come I didn’t know them?
When he started mentioning them, I realized they were actually obvious, but because the deed hadn’t happened, I didn’t pay attention to them, nor did my friend.
I say that to say, unfaithful people usually display certain red flags that you need to pay attention to, so you are not blindsided, or so you can even avoid dating them.
That said, let’s look at the ways to know a man will likely cheat on you.
7 Red Flags Of A Man Who Will Cheat (Even If He Hasn’t Yet)
1. He is secretive
Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, so it is not out of place if your man demands privacy, especially when you don’t understand boundaries.
However, there’s a big difference between privacy and secrecy.
Privacy is his right to his phone and space without you encroaching and wanting to know everything.
On the other hand, if your man is always guarding his phone like it’s a bank vault, changes his passwords often, or steps outside to take calls he can’t explain, that’s a red flag waving in your face.
Like I said, boundaries are cool, but healthy relationships also need openness; they do not thrive on mystery.
You should be able to know basic things about your spouse without it resorting to a shouting row.
So, if asking basic questions turns into that, chances are he’s hiding something.
A man who’s committed to you shouldn’t make you feel like you’re dating a ghost with no story.
If he acts like he’s got something to hide, most likely he does.
2. He has cheated before
Now, I am not one to say, “Once a cheat, always a cheat”.
I know from personal experience that people can change.
However, they need to earn your trust and convince you that they have changed before you believe it; yes, you are allowed to have your doubts if their change has not stood the test of time.
I know we love to believe in redemption stories, but when a man has a history of cheating, especially if you were the other woman, you have to be realistic.
If he didn’t respect his past relationship, what makes you think he’ll respect this one?
One thing I always tell my girls is to never assume they are special when it comes to a man.
When a man treated his former girlfriend like trash, he will likely do the same to you.
This is because cheating isn’t always about opportunity; it’s often about mindset.
This means this doesn’t only apply to when a man cheated with you; it also applies if he has cheated before at all.
As much as he can change, you shouldn’t ignore that he might do it again – unless, of course, he’s shown serious growth and accountability.
3. Unexplained time away from home
You and your man don’t have to spend 24 hours together; that’s not necessary.
However, you need to be able to account for each other; you should know where your man is at every hour of the day.
So, when your man disappears for hours and gives excuses when you ask, it’s time to start asking questions.
Like I said earlier, everyone needs personal space, but regular vanishing acts are sketchy.
If he’s often unreachable, always running “last-minute errands,” or spending more time with the boys than with you, that time might not be as innocent as he says.
A committed man makes time for you and communicates his whereabouts.
And you won’t have to play detective with him.
If you are, something’s off.
4. Aggressive flirting
I was being dramatic when I qualified the flirting as aggressive, but any kind of flirting at all is disrespectful.
I know some guys are naturally charming, but that charm should not turn into full-on flirting with every woman who smiles at them.
A man who constantly needs validation from other women is emotionally greedy and will likely cheat.
Because flirting can sometimes be subtle, he might brush it off with “I’m just being friendly,” but trust me when I say that deep down, he knows what he’s doing.
Even if he wasn’t deliberately doing it, a guy who respects you will consider that you are uncomfortable with his actions and stop them.
If he doesn’t, not only does he not care about your feelings, but he is on his way to full-on cheating.
5. Bad company
I know that saying bad company corrupts good manners often feels like a cliché or generalization, but it’s true.
I understand that you might know someone who moves with bad company but remains sane, but those are just exceptions.
On average, people only roll with their kind, and if they mix with the wrong crowd, it is only a matter of time before they do the same things.
So, take a good look at his friends.
Are they constantly cheating on their partners, bragging about it, or encouraging shady behavior?
That’s a reflection of the environment he’s comfortable in.
While I admit that your man isn’t automatically guilty by association, who he surrounds himself with says a lot about his values.
If he admires people who lie and cheat, chances are he doesn’t see a problem with it.
Plus, peer pressure is real, even for grown men.
If he’s rolling with players, it’s only a matter of time before he starts playing.
6. He accuses you of cheating
Cheaters often assume others are doing the same thing they are because they can’t imagine someone being loyal.
After all, they aren’t loyal, so it is “impossible” that others are different from them.
It’s a weird, twisted logic, but it happens all the time.
So, when a man randomly accuses you of cheating, especially when you’ve given him no reason to doubt you, it could be a classic case of projection.
He is doing that because, like I said, he can’t believe you aren’t cheating as well.
But he is also doing it to avoid scrutiny.
So, instead of checking his behavior, you will be too busy proving your innocence.
When a man is always paranoid, it is almost always because he is guilty.
7. He is hypercritical
When a man constantly criticizes everything about you – your clothes, your weight, your laugh, your dreams – he is likely setting the scene to cheat.
He wants to tear you down to build a case for his bad behavior.
Remember Mike and Sheila in Why Did I Get Married?
It was almost like her weight gave him the well-needed excuse to cheat on her with her friend.
A man can convince himself and you that you’re not enough, so cheating becomes justifiable in his mind.
It’s a manipulative tactic that is just sad because you might actually start believing him.
But I hope you don’t, because the right man will uplift and support you, and he will see your worth.