When you declared these words on your special day, I am sure you were thinking about so many things.
But certainly not boredom…
This is one important thing you don’t hear people talk about when they discuss marriages.
And it’s not even an attempt to gloss over the unpleasant sides of several marriages.
At least, people talk about cheating and abuse in marriage.
The fact is that most people don’t seem to give much thought to the issue of boredom in marriage and its effect on the relationship.
Even in the best of marriages, couples can and have experienced boredom from time to time.
Really, it is nothing out of the ordinary.
However, it’s important to address it, especially when it seems to be happening more frequently and for longer periods.
When your husband is bored with you, his actions will show it regardless of how much he tries to hide it.
What are these actions, and how do the both of you address this issue before things get out of hand?
Let’s dive straight in!
8 Signs Your Husband Is Bored With You
1. He is always in pursuit of excitement
I remember watching Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness” as a kid.
I felt so sorry for him.
The dude was literally racing in pursuit of something or other throughout the movie.
In the end, though, I was happy for him because he found what he was looking for.
Well, a major sign that your husband is bored with you is that he constantly seems to be in pursuit of excitement.
He acts like a dynamo: he is always searching for excitement and fun.
He’s always going somewhere fun and leaving you alone at home.
He seems always to be hanging out with friends, making new friends, and exploring new hobbies.
He may spend much time just scrolling through social media, watching funny videos, and also religiously following sports channels.
Whatever activities he chooses to be involved in, the fact remains that it seems like he just doesn’t include you in them.
He prefers to search for excitement on his own.
Marriage with you seems to have lost the spark that attracted him in the first place,e and because of this, heis lookings for that spark elsewhere.
When your husband does this, it is usually a sign that he is bored with you.
2. He doesn’t seem so excited about spending time with you
As a kid, I was not too fond of mathematics classes.
Not because I didn’t like mathematics but because my teacher was boring.
My mood usually changed when it was time for the class.
I would have avoided all my mathematics classes if I could control time.
When a man is bored with you, you may notice that he no longer feels excited to spend time with you.
That enthusiasm that used to be there in the past would be gone.
Now, your husband seems to prefer being caught doing something else than spending quality time with you.
Whether it is date nights or just simply activities at home, his reaction is the same…
A frustrating lack of enthusiasm.
I have an example of this…
So, a friend of mine and his girlfriend started living together.
They literally acted like a married couple in every sense except for the “little fact” that they hadn’t exchanged marital vows yet.
It was all rosy at first.
Then, at some point, the guy started feeling a little bored.
He was at an age when other guys were exploring and having fun, but he found himself “shackled” to a girl.
You know the saddest part?
He couldn’t seem to remember what initially attracted him to her.
She had become boring to him.
He hated having to spend time with her, so he would lie that he was working on something with me just to get out of the house for house.
To be honest, the only things we ever worked on together were video games.
He was just bringing up those excuses to get out of spending time with her.
If your husband seems indifferent or uninterested in spending time with you, it’s a sign that you need to have a discussion with him about what is going on.
If he actively gives you excuses to get out of spending time with you, it is a sign that he is bored with you.
3. He tries to introduce new things to you
Many husbands may choose to just have fun by themselves.
However, for some, that is a last resort after they have tried to introduce new things to you.
If your husband seems to be coming up with new things that could “spice up” your relationship, it is a sign that he is beginning to get bored with you.
Even though he is bored with you, he is still dedicated to restoring fun and excitement to the marriage.
So, if you realize that your husband has been constantly suggesting new activities, fun hangouts, and events that you could participate in together, it is a sign that he is bored and trying to pass the message across to you without exactly saying the words.
He is bored and believes that adopting these new activities could be beneficial for the relationship.
He could even suggest new sex styles that y’all could try out in order to spice up your sex life.
The fact that he is suggesting all of these activities, events, and styles is a sign that he is bored with you and wants to restore the excitement to the relationship.
Paying attention to your husband could be the key to dealing with this.
If you listen and follow his suggestion, it could improve your bond and go a long way in addressing that boredom he is feeling.
4. He stops communicating
Do you feel like communication between you and your husband is at an all-time low?
This is a very terrible situation to find yourself in.
You just realized that communicating successfully with your husband is almost as impossible as “a camel passing through the eyes of a needle.”
Now, you remember those wonderful conversations you used to have with fondness.
You are nostalgic for when you used to have, long heartfelt conversations, baring your souls to each other.
He used to be a ready participant.
Now, it seems like he is more interested in pressing his phone than in talking to you.
It could mean he is bored with you.
When you find someone boring, you may find it hard to have even a civil conversation with them.
I know you wish for the good times.
Well, you can get the spark rekindled in your relationship.
Just stay with me till the end…
5. He loses his spark
I had only heard people talking about how people can physically lose their glow when they are going through rough times.
Recently, I saw one of my friends go through rough times in his relationship.
The change was very evident.
He seemed to have lost his spark for life.
He was no longer the fun-loving young man I used to know.
When he finally opened up to me, I realized that he was feeling bored with his girlfriend.
But the major problem was that he felt he shouldn’t be feeling this way.
He felt guilty for feeling bored in his relationship because no one had ever told him that it could happen, even in the best relationships.
Because of this guilt, he was making drastic changes in his life.
He was cutting down on all the fun things he used to do in the hope that, by doing so, the boredom would go away.
The sad thing is that it doesn’t work that way.
Feeling guilty about being bored and cutting down on all activities to live a boring life is not the solution to boredom in marriage.
It only leaves you feeling like a shadow of yourself.
The best thing any man can do when he is feeling bored is to communicate with his wife.
It should be done calml,y and the aim should be to make her understand why he feels the way he does.
Well, many men choose not to because they feel like it’s a wrong feeling to have and so, they take it out on themselves.
If you see a man who has suddenly become a shadow of himself, the odds are he may be feeling guilty about being bored with his wife.
6. Physical intimacy is greatly reduced
You know the way relationships usually settle into that trap of routine activities?
Well, you should never let “routine” into your bedroom.
What goes on in your bedroom is crucial to your relationship.
The moment you let what happens in the bedroom appear to be routine, your relationship is about to suffer a major setback.
If there is a noticeable decline in physical intimacy in your marriage, it could be a sign that your husband is bored with you.
Especially if he stops initiating sex.
It now feels like you are the one pursuing him around for sex.
I am not going to lie to you; this could mean many other things.
But if he has suggested new ways to spice up your sex life and you discarded the suggestions, then this sign is most definitely a sign that he is bored with you.
The suggestions were the subtle means of expressing his boredom without exactly hurting you.
7. He is emotionally distant
When communication and intimacy decline in a relationship, emotional distance will undoubtedly set in.
When a man still finds his wife interesting, they have a strong emotional connection.
It is the result of constant heartfelt communication and intimacy between the couples.
With boredom, all these good things come to an end.
And instead of heartfelt conversations, laughter, and intimate touches, your house feels so empty and silent.
It feels like you are living with a stranger.
There is no connection.
In fact, trying to reach out to him is like trying to stretch across a gulf.
He acts like he is emotionally unavailable or less engaged in your relationship.
The fact is the longer he is bored with you, the less invested he is in the relationship.
He withdraws from you emotionally, and this leaves a vacuum in his heart, one that can be exploited by other women…
Because the next sign your husband is bored with you is…
8. He cheats on you
This is a terrible act.
It is a total act of betrayal that will leave you scarred for a very long time.
Before I continue, you must note that there is no justification for cheating.
The fact that your husband is bored with you is not a license for him to cheat.
In an ideal world, people deal with boredom by finding new ways to rekindle the spark.
Sadly, the world is not ideal, and one of the major signs your husband is bored with you is the fact that he cheats on you.
When your husband cheats on you or seems to flirt around with “anything in skirts,” it could be a sign of boredom.
He is always seeking the thrill or excitement that he seems to be missing in his relationship.
This pursuit of excitement can lead him to seek gratification from the wrong quarters.
There’s only one problem with this, apart from the fact that he is breaking your heart.
It is only a temporary fix to a permanent problem.
It is like when I had an allergic reaction to a drug, and it caused me to feel itchy all over.
When I scratched the itchy part, the itching temporarily reduced, only to return somewhere else even stronger than the last time.
Cheating on a wife because you are bored with her only leads to more troubles for the marriage.
It can cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
The best way to express boredom is by actually communicating, but many men still choose to express themselves in any of the above ways.
They are not the ideal way to express boredom and may even exacerbate the problems in the relationship.
You don’t need to fret if you have noticed any of the signs above in your marriage.
You can still rekindle that spark in your marriage.
Here are some things you can do to reignite that spark in your marriage.
The first thing you need to do is to communicate.
Let your husband know that you have seen the signs that he is bored, and you are ready to spice things up if he is.
Ask him for his suggestions about things to do.
Apart from this, you can do the following…
Plan surprise dates, try new hobbies together, appreciate his efforts, and, of course, be more flexible in “the other room”—Nigerian slang for the bedroom.
For the husbands…
Stop communicating in signs to your wife.
If you feel bored, tell her and explain why you feel that way.
It’s not an abomination to feel bored in your relationship.
It’s a sign that something has shifted in your relationship and needs to be made right.
Remember, every relationship has dry phases.
Recognizing the signs of boredom is the first step towards reigniting the spark you once had.
With a little effort and creativity, you can turn things around and enjoy an exciting marriage again.