A relationship is mostly about companionship, right?
Two people just enjoying each other’s company, perhaps a little more than friends should.
Of course, there are deeper reasons behind the choice of whom to have a relationship with.
And it’s not an easy choice to make.
Once, I considered all the ladies around me, and I realized that there wasn’t even one I could contemplate spending a lifetime with, which is essentially what marriage is.
Marriage is loving someone so much that you decide, regardless of what life may throw at you, that you will still enjoy their company.
This is the case for many people on their wedding day.
However, after several years, it feels like it happened ages ago.
They only seem to have vague memories about what made them feel that way.
Life has set in, and there are too many things competing for their attention that they don’t even seem to be able to enjoy something as basic as their partner’s company.
If you’ve been feeling a subtle shift in your marriage, you might be wondering if your husband no longer enjoys your company.
Here are some signs to look out for in your relationship if this is the case.
8 Signs Your Husband No Longer Enjoys Your Company
1. He’s always too busy
Life as a married man can be really busy.
Married men have responsibilities at work and home and also have to bear the demands of friends and relatives from time to time.
However, in all of these, a man who enjoys his wife’s company will make time out to be with her.
Of course, there are times when he may be too busy to make time, but these periods are very occasional.
When a married man starts making all sorts of excuses to avoid spending time with his wife, it is a sign that something is wrong in that relationship.
If you love someone, you will make time out for them even in your busy schedule.
When people try to excuse their regular absences with the “I am too busy” excuse, the actual fact is that they don’t prioritize being with you.
So, if it feels like your husband’s go-to excuse for not spending time with you is the fact that he is too busy, it may just be a sign that he no longer enjoys your company.
Remember those days when you used to have date nights, long conversations, and shared hobbies?
Now, it feels like he’s always buried in work, scrolling on his phone, or finding excuses to be elsewhere.
If he’s consistently prioritizing everything but spending time with you, it could be a sign that he’s no longer finding joy in your company.
2. Conversations with him feel forced
I think one of the things I love about being in a relationship with someone you love is having someone you can talk to very easily.
When a man loves you and enjoys your company, it is obvious how welcoming he is.
He is like a safe space and encourages you to talk to him.
This is how the relationship with your husband is supposed to feel.
You are supposed to be able to share everything and anything with him.
If you have distant memories of sharing these moments with your husband, it’s a sign that something is amiss in your relationship.
Your conversations with him now feel even less pleasant than pulling teeth.
Conversations with your husband are now short and superficial.
In fact, you spend most of your time together in awkward silence.
As a kid, I had issues talking to certain people because I just didn’t enjoy their company.
Whenever I was “afflicted” with their company, I would make sure I showed them how much I wanted to be somewhere else by avoiding any attempt to talk to me.
When I couldn’t avoid talking, my answers were usually short and rude as a way of discouraging further attempts to talk to me.
If your husband acts this way around, it could be a sign that he has emotionally checked out of the relationship.
If you notice this in your relationship, you can open up to your husband about how you feel without placing blame.
You can say something like, “I have noticed we haven’t been talking much lately, and I miss our deep conversations. Is there something on your mind?”
This is like an open invitation for him to share his feelings with you.
It could also mark the beginning of your journey to rekindle your relationship.
3. He avoids physical touch
Growing up, I used to think I didn’t like being touched by people.
A surefire way to irritate me was to touch me for too long.
It made my skin crawl.
I felt this way until I fell in love for the first time.
I wanted her to touch me so much that I had to revise my opinion of myself.
I love physical touch, but it has to be done by the right person.
The thing is that you used to be the right person for your husband in the past.
He used to love it when you touched him.
But all of a sudden, it feels like he is avoiding being touched by you.
He acts like he doesn’t want you to touch him, and he definitely doesn’t attempt to touch you anymore.
If he’s no longer holding your hand, giving you hugs, or showing affection, it could be a sign that he no longer enjoys your company.
4. He criticizes you often
After my first relationship ended badly, I understood why they say “love is blind.”
All those quirks that used to attract me to her suddenly appeared to be red flags.
I didn’t see them as red flags because I felt I was in love.
Now, the truth is that being in love is not enough; you need to be wise as well.
Being in love without applying your senses can sometimes lead you to make terrible mistakes.
My point is that when that love is gone, flaws become more obvious and even magnified beyond proportion.
This is why a major sign that your husband no longer enjoys your company is the fact that he is always criticizing you.
When someone no longer enjoys your company, they may start focusing on your flaws when you are around them.
No one is perfect, and if someone is determined to find fault with you, they will always find it.
So, if you realize that it feels like your husband has been nitpicking or criticizing you so much that it feels like you can’t do anything right, it could be a sign that he no longer enjoys your company.
Please note that the key operational words here are “always” and “frequently.”
Criticism is normal in relationships and even beneficial when it is constructive and comes occasionally.
If this is what your husband does, then there is really no problem in your relationship.
However, if your husband criticizes you frequently without caring about the impact of his words, it is a sign that something is terribly wrong with your relationship.
It could be a sign of dissatisfaction.
If this is what you are going through, you should address his criticism calmly and directly.
I know it may be tempting to yell at him and give him a piece of your mind.
Don’t do it.
It would be counterproductive.
You can also tell him how you feel about how he never seems to notice the good things you do but always seems to point out your mistakes.
You can say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been pointing out things I do wrong lately, and it’s been hurting my feelings.” Can we talk about what’s going on?”
This opens the door for a deeper conversation about his frustrations.
It’s something you should seriously consider doing.
5. He is happier around other people
Of course, no one is trying to gatekeep your husband’s happiness, but if he is happier around other people than he is with you, there is a problem.
When your husband enjoys your company, he is noticeably happy around you.
He lights up when he is with you and finds it easy to laugh around you.
You can’t expect to be the sole source of joy for your husband in marriage.
However, the least you can expect is that your presence brings him happiness.
If this is not the case, then there is a problem.
Does he light up when he’s with friends or coworkers but seem indifferent or drained around you?
If he is noticeably more animated and engaged with others, it might indicate that he’s no longer finding joy in your relationship.
This can be a terrible sign to see in your relationship.
Don’t panic.
Rather, you should reflect on what could have changed in your relationship.
Have you fallen into a routine that’s lost its spark?
Suggest trying something new together—a hobby, a trip, or even a couples’ workshop—to reignite the excitement.
This should do the magic, provided that you can get him interested enough to want to try it.
6. He doesn’t include you in his plans
In the community where I grew up, it was common to see married men having fun and enjoying themselves outside late into the night while their wives were at home taking care of the children.
Growing up in that situation, you may be tempted to think that it is normal for husbands to make plans without involving their wives.
But the truth is that it is not supposed to be.
If your husband enjoys your company, he will include you in his plans.
Of course, this doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy the occasional hangout with his friends.
So, don’t start feeling like your husband doesn’t want to spend time with you because he occasionally spends time with his friends or does his own thing sometimes.
However, if he is making plans without considering you—whether it’s a weekend getaway with friends or a solo project—it could be a sign that he no longer enjoys your company.
So, he makes plans that ensure that he doesn’t have to endure your company more than necessary.
I know that this is a painful pill to swallow, but the good thing about it is that something can be done to resolve matters.
You can express a desire to be included in his plans.
Don’t attack him for not including you.
Instead, try to suggest activities that you can do together.
If he isn’t ready to include you in his plans, include him in yours.
Apart from this, it is also important to work on the underlying causes of what is happening.
We will get to that in the concluding part of this blog post.
7. He is emotionally distant
Emotional intimacy is important in relationships.
It is that glue that holds the marriage together.
When a man loves to be around his wife, he talks to her.
He really opens himself up to her.
He shares his thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears with her.
He is so closely attuned to his wife’s feelings and emotions as well.
However, if it feels like your husband is always emotionally distant around you, it could be a sign that he no longer enjoys your company.
It feels like there is an invisible wall between the two of you.
You can no longer reach him.
In fact, it may feel like he is now a stranger with whom you share a home.
If this is happening in your marriage, it could be a sign that your husband no longer enjoys your company.
8. He is spending more time alone
I love to be alone.
I enjoy just sitting by myself and reflecting on life.
I have found that it is a good way to pass my time.
However, I still love being around people I care about.
My point is that while everyone needs alone time, if he consistently chooses solitude over spending time with you, it could be a red flag.
Whether he’s staying late at work, retreating to his man cave, or going on solo outings, it might indicate he’s pulling away.
It is sad when things like this happen, but when they do, we mustn’t waste time panicking over the state of things.
Rather, we should consider what could be done to constructively improve the situation.
You can start by having an open, honest conversation about how you’re both feeling.
Seek to understand rather than blame, and be willing to take responsibility for your part in what has happened.
This shouldn’t be a fault-finding expedition.
Rather, it should be an attempt to learn so that “history” doesn’t repeat itself in your marriage.
Sometimes, all it takes is a little effort to reignite the spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
So, be spontaneous.
Be romantic.
Remind him that the woman he fell in love with is still present in you.
And if you’re feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to seek the help of a couples’ therapist.
They can guide you through what is happening in your marriage.
The truth is that noticing these signs in your marriage can be scary, but it doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed.
Effective communication is always a good place to start, but you can explore the option of marriage counseling to navigate the issue.
As you work with your husband through these challenging times, you should have hope that you can weather this challenge and emerge stronger together.