I have never liked the idea of testing your partner in relationships.
It just feels like a distrustful move to me.
However, many people do this to ensure they are in a relationship with someone with the right character and attitude.
I feel that things that will test a partner will always show up without intentionally orchestrating it.
Anyway, many men subtly test their partners in relationships.
Some of these tests are not necessarily manipulative or intentional.
They are just subconscious ways men gauge trust, emotional strength, and long-term potential.
It’s the way they ensure that they get the right partner for long-term relationships.
So, what are these subtle tests?
Let’s find out together.
8 Subtle Ways Men Test Women In Relationships
1. The financial character test
This is one important test that many women have failed in relationships because they don’t even realize when they are being tested with money.
While I am against intentionally manipulating a woman you are attracted to all in the name of testing her, I understand the importance of ensuring that you are financially compatible with your partner.
There are several questions men need to answer before committing to a long-term relationship with a woman.
“What is her attitude towards money?”
“Does she love to save, or does she spend everything she gets?”
“Who pays on dates?”
“Does she offer to split the check, or is she only interested in being taken care of?”
“Does she moderate her consumption at dates, or does she order things that she ordinarily won’t be able to afford?”
All of these questions can be answered through keen observation.
From the very first date, most men start noticing financial attitudes early on.
Of course, people can always argue that when a man asks a woman on a date, he should be ready to foot the bill.
That’s not a bad argument.
In fact, it makes a lot of sense.
Many men prefer to pick up the tab too, but they would appreciate a woman who at least offers.
They would also appreciate a woman who doesn’t take dates as an opportunity to order really expensive things they can’t afford normally.
The fact that there is a buffet before you doesn’t mean you should take a portion of everything.
It only shows a lack of discipline.
So, the best way to pass this subtle test is to always prioritize moderation.
Be moderate in all that you do.
Also, try to exercise more financial discipline.
You don’t have to shop every time you see something you like.
For example, I know a lady who doesn’t have a job, yet she was angry at her boyfriend because he didn’t buy her bone-straight wigs.
She called him “broke,” and he begged her to be patient while he gathered the money for the hair.
I was pissed off at the guy.
He should have taken her behavior as a failure of the financial character test.
Shouldn’t she be more focused on getting a job or asking him to invest the money she wanted to spend on expensive hair?
Ladies, let me share a major way to gain the respect of the man you are dating.
Invite him on a date and take care of the bills even when he insists.
Tell him it is your treat.
Things like this mean so much to men.
2. The loyalty test
One time, the loyalty test content was so popular on the Internet.
Some of them felt like they were scripted, but there were others that felt real.
You would realize from some of those videos that trust could be misplaced sometimes.
Discovering that you have been trusting someone who isn’t trustworthy has to hurt deeply.
This is why some men subtly perform loyalty tests on their partners to see if they are loyal.
Men test loyalty by sharing vulnerabilities.
When a man sometimes wants to test his woman’s loyalty, he tells her about those things he is going through.
Work stress, family drama, or even a dire financial situation.
He tells her to see if she would be supportive or just tell him “It’s well”.
A guy posted an anonymous message about a guy who gave his girlfriend the capital to establish her thriving business.
Then, he became very broke at some point, and even couldn’t afford to feed himself but his girlfriend never lifted a finger to help him.
He took that as a sign that he was dating a disloyal lady and broke up with her.
That was a good call.
A lady who loves a man won’t watch him suffer when she can help him.
She would support him and help him through the crisis he is facing.
I don’t even need to give you any advice on how to pass the test because if you fail it, it is a sign that you don’t actually love him.
Responding to your man’s struggles with empathy and understanding makes him view you as a true partner.
3. The jealousy test
Now, this is one test I hate the most.
It is manipulative, and many guys use it as an excuse to cheat on their girlfriends.
I will explain what I mean.
Some men flirt with other ladies in front of their girlfriends.
Sometimes, they even mention exes nostalgically.
And the crazy part about it is that it could all be a test to get their girlfriend’s jealous reaction.
He may not be exactly interested in those ladies, but he is trying to see his woman’s reaction.
If she overreacts to this, it signals insecurity, while indifference signals self-assurance.
Well, I must say that this is a silly way to test for insecurity.
Insecurity doesn’t need a special test.
There are always signs, both the subtle ones and the really obvious ones.
So, testing your partner this way is very silly, and it could be a cover for inappropriate relationships with other females.
When a man consistently flirts with other women in front of you, you need to realize that it is a red flag.
Don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking it is a test.
4. The friends’ approval test
I personally don’t think that a man introducing you to his friends is a sign that he is serious about the relationship.
Several ladies have been introduced to their man’s friends even when he wasn’t serious about the relationship.
So, don’t start thinking a guy is serious with the relationship just because he introduces you to his friends.
There are other important signs of seriousness.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, sometimes men can introduce you to their inner circle as a subtle test.
If he introduces you to his inner circle early, he is probably trying to see how well you can adapt to his world.
He wants to know if you can interact easily with his friends without having issues with them.
He does this because his friends matter to him and he values their opinions.
You must note that trying hard to impress his friends can backfire.
Just be warm and authentic.
You would be fine that way.
Also, you shouldn’t tolerate disrespect from his friends just because you want to act like wife material.
You deserve respect from your man and his friends.
Settling for less will make you appear too desperate for the relationship.
5. The independence check
I do this one all the time, and it’s usually unconscious.
I like to ensure that any lady I am with is not the clingy type.
I want to know that she has a life of her own.
So, sometimes, I subconsciously delay replying to texts when they are not so important.
In fact, I don’t do this to test her.
It’s just my normal reaction to texts when they are not so important.
Especially when I am busy with work or something.
Just a few minutes delay, and I have seen ladies get very angry, going on and on about how I wasn’t treating them right.
Such a lady for me is a no-no.
I can’t deal with someone like that.
Many men are like this, too.
Clinginess is a red flag for them.
They want to be with the woman they love, but they also want to have some assurance that they would be allowed the space to do other things without any problems arising.
I have been with a clingy woman before, and I know the level of drama that I had to deal with.
Most men don’t want to deal with that kind of drama.
This leads me to the next test.
6. The enthusiasm test
I love watching football.
I love to do other things as well; play chess, play Scrabble, read novels, among other things.
But I love football.
And I have realized that many ladies have issues with a man’s love for football.
They don’t understand the excitement that comes with winning or the heartbreak a grown man feels when his team loses a game.
Unlike so many other men, I don’t need to be with a woman who loves football like me.
I just want to be with someone who doesn’t make me feel bad for loving football.
And this is where the test comes in.
The moment you start saying disparaging things about my love for football, I know that the relationship is already on shaky grounds.
Many men want to know that their partners can handle their interests.
They even want their partners to show a genuine interest in their hobbies.
Or at least, some form of curiosity.
If he’s into basketball, does she ask about the game?
If he loves music, does she listen when he shares his favorite songs?
This isn’t about faking interest; it’s about demonstrating effort.
Ladies also want the same thing from men, and hence, it is just normal to return the favor.
It may seem petty to you, but showing some interest in his hobbies shows how emotionally invested you are in the relationship.
He wants to know if his passions will be respected or dismissed in the long run.
7. The humor test
There’s this “chakam” trend that has gone really viral on Nigerian Twitter.
It is an imitation of the sound of a screenshot or camera clicking when it takes a picture, and it is a funny way of saying, “I have evidence that you said this, so you don’t wake up tomorrow to deny that you did”.
A lady posted one that stood out for me.
It was about humor.
I have had females tell me how funny I am and how it is an endearing quality, and later, the same ladies would get angry and say I take everything as a joke.
So, the humor test is a crucial part of relationships for many men.
They want to know that you can handle their humor.
Early in dating, men often use sarcasm or playful teasing to see how a woman reacts.
If she takes offense easily or doesn’t “get” his humor, he might doubt their compatibility.
Banter is a bonding tool for many men, and how she engages (or doesn’t) reveals a lot about whether she can adapt to being in a relationship with him.
To pass this, you have to play along with lighthearted comebacks.
It shows you are fun to be around.
You must, however, note that this doesn’t mean you should let him disrespect or degrade you in the name of humor.
“Dark humor” has no place in relationships.
Neither should you allow anyone to wrap verbal abuse in a ‘humor’ wrapper.
Some men do this to degrade women, and the longer you listen to these offensive words, the more you may start believing in them.
8. Conflict resolution test
Now, this is one test that doesn’t even need to be orchestrated by anyone.
Conflicts are just natural in relationships, and how we handle them is what determines the success of our relationships.
How does a man subtly test for this?
Arguments happen, but does she escalate or seek a resolution?
A man could be observing how you react to conflicts and making mental notes in his head.
Are you the type of woman who never apologizes?
Does he have to apologize when he is wrong, and also when he is right for being right?
That’s a problem.
Many men want to know if your next response to annoyance is violence.
No one is above being angry, but are you in control of your temper or not?
I don’t even want to consider being married to someone who scares me because of how violent she gets when she is angry.
The atmosphere of such a marriage would be toxic.
So, learn to address issues calmly and respectfully.
Ultimatums, silent treatment, and tantrums only point to one thing: you don’t know how to resolve conflicts successfully.
Now, are these tests manipulative?
Not always.
Many of them are just subconscious ways men assess compatibility.
However, if tests feel excessive or cruel, that’s a red flag.
So, things like mind games and gaslighting are terribly toxic and manipulative, regardless of what you are trying to achieve with them.
Healthy relationships thrive on love, mutual respect, and trust.
Not manipulation!