9 Things Men Say When They’re Hiding An Affair

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No one lies better than a cheating husband trying to keep his affair under wraps.

Not even undercover agents lie as much as a cheating husband who wants to “eat his cake and have it.”

I have always thought of cheaters as cowards.

They want something different but don’t have the courage to leave what they are used to.

Regardless of what I think about them, many men cheat, and their numbers seem to be growing by the day, judging by the number of men that have been caught at it.

I have noticed that men will say anything to hide the fact that they are cheating except, of course, if they are like my neighbor; everyone, including his wife, knows that he is cheating because he doesn’t even bother to hide it.

When men cheat, there are usually signs, irrespective of how well they try to hide it, and sometimes, you may feel the need to question some of their behaviors.

They would generally tell you they love you, act defensively, lie about increased workloads, and accuse you of being distrustful just to keep you off their tracks.

Let’s take a deeper look into the common things men say to hide their affairs.

9 Things Men Say When They’re Hiding An Affair

1. “I need some space.”

Everyone needs space, sometimes.

So, don’t take this the wrong way.

A few days ago, I went to visit my friend’s father.

The old man was alone in the house, and he said he would rather not have company that day.

I understood instantly.

His house is usually a busy hub of activities with people always coming and going, demanding something or the other from him.

That day, he was tired of it all and wanted a break from it all.

We all need this, sometimes.

However, if your husband’s sudden go-to phrase is “I need space,” then you need to be suspicious.

You can’t need a break all the time, especially not from the people you love.

It gets even worse if he gets angry all the time when it feels like you have encroached into his space.

It is normal to get angry occasionally, but all the time?

Nah!

There is obviously something wrong.

He could be trying to create space and time to have his affair in peace.

I mean, this is not a far-fetched conclusion.

Add needing space all the time to being aggressive when your space is slightly encroached upon, and it begins to make sense.

Cheating husbands are usually most likely to accuse their wives of being clingy even when they aren’t because without creating that impression, it may be difficult to keep their affairs hidden.

If you hear this phrase frequently from your husband, it is definitely a red flag.

Something’s definitely up.

2. “I am working late.”

Every victim of infidelity has heard different variations of this phrase.

But you should be careful to avoid jumping to false conclusions.

People genuinely have to work late due to increased workloads or inability to finish their tasks.

Regardless of the reason, many people have to work late sometimes.

The keyword here is “sometimes”.

You can’t always work late, not even if you plan on being “employee of the year.”

Now, here’s where men who lie to hide their affairs miss it.

They are regularly absent from home, sometimes overnight and during weekends, because they are working late.

Most of the time, this can just be a convenient excuse to spend time with the other woman without arousing their wives’ suspicion.

After all, no woman will tell her husband to stop working just because she wants to spend time with him.

When men suddenly begin to act like workaholics, spending so much time at work and working beyond office hours on tasks that can’t be brought home, it could be a sign that they are trying to hide an affair.

Spending so much time away from home is a sign of a cheating husband, and there is no better way to keep his wife from worrying than telling her he is spending the night at work.

She might worry about him being stressed and even breaking down under the fatigue and pressure of work.

What she won’t worry about is him cheating.

After all, he is at work.

3. “I am just hanging out with friends.”

A certain man in my neighborhood used to say this to his wife every time he went out, and she would ask where he was going.

She couldn’t complain about him going out to meet his friends even though she sometimes felt bored and alone at home.

A man needs to have friends, right?

Well, she later discovered that one day at his friend’s place, he met a woman, and boom, he started an affair with her.

So, at first, he was actually just hanging out with his friends and that was where he met the other woman.

After that, he increased the frequency of his “hangouts” with his friends, and once again, when his wife questioned him, he got defensive.

So, she let him be.

After all, she didn’t want to be accused of caging her husband.

The only issue was that he was beginning to spend less time at his friend’s and more time with the other lady.

Yet, he always told his wife he was just hanging out with friends.

She would never have found out about it without the strange events that exposed her husband’s infidelity.

Dear woman, your husband has a right to hang out with friends.

In fact, it is important that he has some time and freedom to meet with friends.

However, if he starts hanging out with friends too frequently, it could be a sign that something is wrong.

He spends so much time “with his friends” but hardly spends quality time with you, and when you mention this, he makes you feel like you are just too clingy.

All these may be signs that your husband is having an affair and is trying to hide it.

4. “I am not in the mood.”

The consensus is that infidelity usually comes with a great reduction in physical intimacy.

Now, for a virile man who has consistently initiated sex to start avoiding intimacy, something has to be wrong.

Wives are usually not so sensitive to this.

So, the first time it happens, she just chalks it down to tiredness.

However, when this becomes a constant occurrence, there has to be an explanation for the lack of interest in sex.

For most cheating men, their go-to phrase is “I am not in the mood.”

Everyone has had to say this from time to time, perhaps not in a scenario involving physical intimacy.

We have all had to say it.

We say it to friends when we don’t want to talk or have fun.

We say it to people we dislike so they can leave us alone.

Cheating men also say it to their wives regularly to hide the fact that they are probably getting sexual satisfaction outside.

5. “My phone is off limits!”

Personally, I don’t like the idea of a wife or girlfriend snooping around my phone.

Not because I have anything to hide.

I just feel like it’s my private space, and monitoring my phone reeks strongly of distrust.

If you don’t trust me, we shouldn’t even be together.

However, trust is not something that just comes on its own.

Trust is earned, but it can also be lost.

There are some actions that can make someone who trusts you lose their trust in you.

In marriage, one of those actions is treating your phone like it is a bank vault.

If I see any guy who has multiple layers of passwords protecting his phone and social media apps, I know there is something wrong instantly.

Imagine what it feels like for a woman to see her husband’s phone this protected, and she doesn’t have access to it.

She may be cool with it if she is married to a CIA agent,t but if she is not, he had better be prepared for questions.

Invariably, when questioned, most men say their phone is off limits.

The truth is this is one of the things men say when they’re hiding an affair.

A man with nothing to hide may take the same stance but still let their wives go through their phones for the sake of peace.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t be searching through your husband’s phone like you are a cop with a search warrant to search a suspect’s house.

Rather what I am saying is that husbands who have nothing to hide are free with their phones.

They don’t treat it like it’s a part of their body, and they definitely don’t take it into the bathroom with them…

Most definitely, they don’t take long calls outside or in the toilet because they don’t want you to hear what they are talking about.

If your husband does all these and still insists his phone is off limits, the odds are he is trying to hide an affair from you.

6. “I am going on a business trip.”

Businessmen have to go on business trips.

So, if your husband is an entrepreneur, you may have to sit this round out.

This is especially true if he has always had to travel frequently.

One of the most common ways men hide their affairs is by creating an explanation for their absences.

So, he tells you that he needs to go on a business trip.

You don’t have any reason to think it is not a business trip.

It’s a quite simple but devious plan.

It’s the classic cover for infidelity.

A man could say he is traveling for a conference out of town without ever actually leaving the town.

One red flag that may come up is that when men say things like this to hide an affair, the details about the trips are usually vague.

They don’t mention the hotels where they will be residing.

They mention nothing about their travel plans.

Reaching them throughout the “business trips” may be difficult or even impossible.

I mean, I know he went on a business trip, but he definitely can’t conduct business throughout the day.

He could spare some time to talk to his wife.

If these trips are becoming more frequent or if details about them are vague, it could be a sign that he’s using them as an opportunity to meet someone else.

7. “She’s just a friend.”

This is another common excuse men use to hide their affairs.

This is usually used when the wife already suspects his relationship to a particular woman.

When she complains about his closeness to her, his typical response is “She’s just a friend”.

The fact is that every woman is just a friend until you get too close and something else comes out of it.

This is why I always avoid getting too close to other ladies.

I can’t talk to you for hours every day.

I can’t meet with you every day when I am committed to another woman.

So, basically, when a man says “she is just a friend” and does all these things and even more with her, it could be a sign that he is trying to hide an affair with her.

My best advice to men is don’t give your wife/ girlfriend grounds to start questioning your loyalty.

Then, you can actually conclude that they are just being insecure if they question your loyalty.

8. “You are just being paranoid.”

Regardless of how well a man hides his infidelity, there are always signs.

This particular phrase is reserved for when his wife is suspicious after seeing some of the signs that he may be hiding an affair.

Gaslighting is an important tool in the cheater’s bag of tricks.

Call a person paranoid anytime they bring up their suspicions, and they may start doubting their judgment.

“What if I am actually reading too much meaning into my husband’s actions?”.

The seeds of doubt have already been sown.

This is exactly the reason why many men seem to have kept their affairs hidden.

They make their wives second-guess themselves.

A man with a lot to hide will call his wife paranoid without addressing her suspicion.

An Innocent man will address her suspicions and explain his actions to her.

Defensiveness and gaslighting are admissions of guilt, most of the time.

9. “You are cheating on me.”

I can’t remember if it was Mike Tyson or Muhammad Ali that said it.

But “the best defense is a good offense.”

Hit them before they hit you…

This is one principle cheating men know how to apply well.

They know their wives are beginning to suspect their activities.

The questions are getting too much.

What do they do as “sharp” men?

They accuse their wives of cheating!

They find something petty and make a mountain of problems out of it for their wives.

This way, the only thing the wives want to do is clear their name.

They are no longer thinking about the fact that he is probably cheating on them.

Why?

Because the best form of defense is a good attack.

It is simply a way of turning the tables.

These words are things that people say innocently in their daily lives.

Ordinarily, without a background of devious and suspicious behaviors, they are words that shouldn’t even raise suspicion.

However, on the tongue of a cheating man, even the most innocent words can be a lie.

So, while these phrases alone don’t confirm infidelity, they can be indicators when combined with other suspicious behaviors.

You need to trust your instincts.

If you feel something is off, it’s important to address it directly.

PS: Don’t accuse your husband because of these words unless you have proof.

Rather, speak to him about some of his suspicious actions and hear what he has to say.

His response and accompanying actions would inform your next line of action.

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