”Why do cheating husbands stay married?”
It’s a question that has been asked by wives and girlfriends for centuries—and one that is just as puzzling now as it was then.
Why would a man who’s cheating on his wife stay with her?
Apparently, cheating doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a relationship for some people.
So why do cheating husbands stay married?
Why Do Cheating Husbands Stay Married?
1. He’s not ready to let go of the status quo.
Cheating can be a dealbreaker in a marriage, but for some husbands, it’s not enough to make them want to leave their comfortable lives behind.
They may have a beautiful wife, a nice home, and healthy children.
To them, that’s worth more than fidelity.
Some people are extremely attached to their possessions, including their homes and cars — even when they have no use for them anymore.
They don’t want to part with these things because they feel they deserve them or don’t want anyone else owning them.
2. He’s worried about what a divorce would do to his reputation.
Sometimes, a husband may stay married to his wife even though he’s cheating on her because he doesn’t want the stigma of divorce.
Some men think of their marriage as a way to show off how successful they are, and they’re afraid that if they get divorced, people will see that they were unable to keep their marriage together.
To them, staying married is the best way to keep up appearances.
Also, a man might think that if he divorces his wife, he’ll look like a bad person—someone who doesn’t care about his family and is only interested in having sex with other people.
So he may worry that a divorce would damage his reputation and make it hard for him to be seen as a good husband and father.
3. He doesn’t want to start over.
Another common reason cheating husbands stay married is that they don’t want to start over.
Starting over is tough, especially when you’re older.
A husband may not be willing to give up everything he has built up over the years just because he had an affair.
He’s had years with his wife and built up a life together.
The thought of getting divorced or even separated is overwhelming; men don’t want to go through the process of finding a new person, learning about them and, getting to know them, then building a life with them.
So, some men would rather stay married than work to find someone new and start over again.
4. He’s hoping she’ll never find out.
Many husbands who cheat believe that they can keep their affairs secret forever.
They think their wives are clueless and will never find out.
Of course, this is often not the case, but some husbands are convinced they can pull it off.
Good luck with that, bro!
5. Fear of custody battle.
Some men are afraid of losing their children in a custody battle if they get divorced or separated.
Children are often the glue that holds a marriage together.
It can feel like a huge gamble to separate your family when there’s even the possibility of losing custody of your kids if you cheat.
Some men stay married just because they’re afraid of losing their kids.
6. He enjoys the thrill of the affair.
For some men, cheating is all about the thrill of the chase and the excitement of doing something forbidden.
They may not even be particularly attracted to the woman they’re cheating with; they just want the rush that comes with being unfaithful.
If this is the case, the husband will likely continue cheating even if he stays married.
He’s not interested in leaving his wife; he just wants the excitement of sneaking around and being unfaithful.
7. He believes everyone does it.
This is probably one of the most common reasons husbands cheat and stay married.
They rationalize their behavior by saying, “everyone does it.”
In their minds, infidelity is so commonplace that there’s no reason to leave their marriage over it.
What’s more, they may believe that as long as they’re not getting caught, there’s no harm in cheating.
8. He doesn’t want to lose his family.
Some men cheat because they don’t want to lose their families.
They may love their wives and children dearly, but they also enjoy having someone on the side for when things get too calm at home.
In their minds, having an affair is preferable to getting a divorce and losing half of everything they’ve worked for.
Despite his infidelity, a man might be so attached to his wife that and can’t imagine life without her.
For these men, the thought of getting divorced is simply too painful.
They would rather cheat and stay married than lose the woman they love.
9. Fear of financial loss.
A man might be afraid that if he leaves his wife, she’ll take half of everything he has earned over the years and leave him with debt and alimony payments that will eat up all his savings and income until it’s gone.
So, for some men, the thought of getting divorced is simply too financially daunting.
They may not be able to afford to maintain the lifestyle they’re used to if they lose half of their assets in a divorce settlement.
So instead of facing the financial reality of a divorce, some men would rather just cheat and stay married.
10. He doesn’t want to face the consequences.
Let’s face it: cheating can have some pretty severe consequences.
A husband may be worried about what will happen if he gets caught—he could lose his job, friends, and reputation.
He may even go to jail if his affair crosses state lines (think Anthony Weiner).
For some husbands, these potential consequences are enough to make them think twice about leaving their marriages.
As you have read, there are many reasons why husbands cheat and stay married.
Some men do it for thrills; others do it because they don’t want to face the consequences of getting caught.
Still, others believe everyone does it, so there’s no reason to leave their marriage over something so common.
Whatever the reason, infidelity is a betrayal that’s hard to forget and even harder to forgive.
If you’re considering staying in a relationship after your husband has cheated, it’s crucial to weigh all the pros and cons carefully before making a decision.
Think about what you’re hoping to gain by staying in the marriage and whether or not those benefits are worth the pain of betrayal.
You also need to be honest about whether you can genuinely forgive your husband and move on from the affair.
If cheating is not a dealbreaker for you and you can work through the pain and betrayal, then staying in the marriage may be the right decision for you.
If you’re unsure, it might be best to seek counseling or therapy to help you decide what’s best for you and your relationship.
And if you are the cheating husband, you should repent.
Do to your wife what you want her to do to you.
How would you feel if your wife is doing to you what you are doing to her?