”My husband is overweight and it turns me off! What should I do?”
Being attracted to your partner is an important part of a healthy relationship.
But what do you do when your man puts on a few (or more than a few) extra pounds, and suddenly you’re not feeling those butterflies anymore?
As a married woman, I know how crucial attraction is in a marriage.
Even if you love your man, but the sight of him irritates you, you won’t enjoy your relationship with him.
It’s a common problem and one that can be tough to navigate.
But there is no problem without a solution.
Here are a few tips for dealing with this sensitive issue:
”My Husband is Overweight And It Turns Me Off!”
1. Talk to him about it…in the right way
If your husband is overweight, you may feel you can’t tell him how you feel.
After all, he won’t want to hear that his belly or double chin is a turn-off for you.
But if you don’t say anything, it will just fester inside of you and make your relationship even worse.
The best way to approach this conversation is to simply say what’s on your mind and be honest about how his weight gain affects your relationship.
You can start by saying something like:
“I know this isn’t the easiest thing for me to talk about, but I think it’s important to be honest with you about how I feel.”
“I’m worried about your health and want to help you make some changes.”
Approach the topic delicately, with love and care.
This is not a time for nagging or criticism.
Chances are, he’s already aware that he’s gained weight and may feel insecure about it.
So be supportive, not judgmental.
If he gets defensive or upset at first, just remind him that this isn’t about him as a person — it’s about how his weight affects your relationship as a couple.
2. Make it about health instead of vanity
I know I mentioned this in the previous point, but this point needs to be stated on its own.
When you talk to your husband about his weight, make it clear that this is about his health and not his appearance.
If he feels like you’re just trying to make him look better for your own benefit, he’s not going to be very receptive to your suggestions.
Help him see that this is about improving his health and well-being — not just making him look better in your eyes.
You can say something like:
“I’m really worried about your diabetes risk/high blood pressure/cholesterol levels/etc.”
“I want us to be around for each other for a long time, and I’m worried that your weight is putting your health at risk.”
3. Focus on the positives instead of negatives
When you talk to your husband about his weight, avoid using words like “diet” or “exercise.”
Those words tend to have negative connotations and can make people feel like they’re being deprived or restricted.
Instead, focus on positive changes he can make that will improve his health.
You can say something like:
“I know you’re busy with work, but maybe we can cook together more often and eat healthier meals.”
“I know you don’t like going to the gym, but maybe we can go for walks together after dinner.”
My husband and I used to go jogging in the morning but stopped.
We need to restart this habit.
It’s hard to keep up the motivation, especially with kids, but it’s worth it in the long run.
4. Encourage him to talk to his doctor
If your husband is overweight, it’s important that he talks to his doctor about it.
His doctor can help him develop a healthy weight loss plan and monitor his progress.
Encourage him to make an appointment — it could be just the motivation he needs to start making changes.
If he’s stalling, make the appointment for him.
Yes.
You know how men can be.
I make my husband’s flu shot appointment for him.
If he gets sick, I’ll be affected as well.
So, I’m not just doing it for him; I’m doing it for me.
5. Make healthy lifestyle changes together
One of the best ways to help your husband slim down is to make healthy lifestyle changes together as a team.
That means cutting back on processed foods, eating more vegetables and fruits, and exercising regularly.
There are plenty of fun ways to get active as a couple, so find an activity you both enjoy and make it part of your weekly routine.
Not only will this help your husband lose weight, but it will also improve your own health and well-being.
And that’s a win-win for both of you!
6. Be patient
Weight loss takes time, so don’t expect miracles overnight.
Cut yourself (and your husband) some slack during this process.
There will inevitably be setbacks along the way, but as long as you’re both committed to making healthier choices, eventually, the pounds will start coming off.
Trust me; it’ll be worth the wait when you finally see your husband looking fit and sexy again!
7. Keep the lines of communication open
As you and your husband work on losing weight and getting healthier, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open.
Check-in with each other regularly to see how things are going and offer words of encouragement when needed.
And if either of you starts to slip up, don’t be afraid to have a heart-to-heart about it.
No one is perfect, and it’s important to remember that you’re in this together.
8. Focus on the positives of your husband and your relationship
Even if your husband is carrying a few extra pounds, try to focus on the positives of him and your relationship.
Think about all the things you love about him — his sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, etc.
And remind yourself that weight is just a physical characteristic and not indicative of his overall worth as a person.
With that said, it’s still important to encourage him to make healthy changes for the sake of his health and your relationship.
But try not to dwell on the negative too much.
There is more to your husband than his weight.
9. Don’t use weight loss as a way to fix other problems in your relationship
If you have other issues in your relationship, don’t try to use weight loss as a way to fix them.
Weight loss can be a positive thing for both of you, but it’s not going to fix all of your problems magically.
If you’re unhappy with your sex life, for example, talk to your husband about it directly.
Don’t try to use his weight as an excuse — that will only make him feel bad and is unlikely to solve the problem.
10. Seek professional help if needed
If you and your husband are struggling to lose weight, it might be helpful to seek professional help, e.g., a nutritionist, doctor, personal trainer, or even a therapist.
A therapist can be especially helpful if your husband is struggling with emotional issues like body image or low self-esteem.
If your husband has gained weight and it’s causing you to feel less attracted to him, know that you’re not alone.
Many women struggle with this issue at some point in their marriage.
The most important thing is to approach the topic sensitively and with love.
Make healthy lifestyle changes together as a team and be patient; lasting weight loss takes time.
With consistent efforts (and patience), you’ll soon see the old sparks fly again!
These are just a few tips to help you support your husband as he tries to lose weight.
So don’t give up on your husband just because he’s gained a few pounds.
