Why do married couples stop kissing?
There are a number of ways through which married couples express their sexual attraction towards each other: kissing, snuggling, hugging, cuddling, and groping, amongst many others.
Over time, it happens that for some couples, one or more of these romantic expressions fall by the wayside.
They probably just casually give each other some pecks here and there, on the forehead and on the cheeks and hardly ever on the mouth.
This article seeks to unravel some of the possible reasons why married couples stop kissing.
For many couples, kissing used to be a major way of maintaining physical intimacy and initiating sex at the early days of their marriage.
Years down the line, the excitement for kissing starts to taper off.
Why Do Married Couples Stop Kissing? 7 Common Reasons
Let’s consider some of the reasons why married couples might stop kissing.
Some married couples may stop French kissing later in marriage if:
1. They are no longer thrilled about each other
Ever bought a new cloth and couldn’t wait to wear it for the first time?
Did you notice, however, how the eagerness to put on the cloth declines after a few washes?
This is probably similar to the reason why couples stop kissing later in marriage.
The thrill that comes with the coming together as husband and wife is probably waning.
All the shows of affection are probably reducing because they are now used to each other’s presence.
Overfamiliarity is one of the reasons why good habits and deeds of partners towards each other may reduce or even stop.
When you are too familiar with how your spouse tastes, you may cease to be enthralled by kissing them without even realizing it.
Couples need to renew their affection for each other over and over again so they do not begin to lose interest in the habits that helped them bond so well in the beginning, kissing in this case.
2. They are busier
Being busy and often tired could be one of the reasons why married couples stop kissing after a while.
They could be caught up in the middle of life activities such that kissing becomes the last thing on their minds.
Responsibilities have set in, and they probably do not have as much time for themselves as they would love to.
Kissing, which used to be spontaneous while the love was still young, now appears to require some deliberate effort from them.
For instance, in a situation where either of the couple rushes off to work every day before the other wakes up, the possibility of getting to share a goodbye kiss becomes slim.
If married couples are not deliberate, kissing gradually reduces and might eventually become a memory.
3. Their sex life is less passionate
French kissing is usually one of the expressions of passionate sex between lovers.
Yes, when sex between the couple is no longer as passionate as it used to be in the early days of marriage, chances are that they will no longer kiss.
Sadly, sex is probably now a routine for them.
They are probably now skipping the foreplay phase, which should involve kissing.
I like to point out that love-making is quite different from sex.
Better still, love-making is sex, but every sex is not love-making.
Love-making requires more than sex requires, such as a greater and deeper level of vulnerability from both partners, which will, in turn, lead to more willingness to explore and let go of their bodies to be pleasured and adored by each other.
Kissing is, thereby, inevitable.
However, when it’s just all about sex, kissing may be done away with.
4. Either of them have a poor oral hygiene
This is one other reason why a married person may stop kissing their spouse.
When their spouse neglects self-care, such that they do not maintain good personal hygiene, kissing becomes gross and uninteresting.
Poor oral hygiene can be really off-putting.
If kissing is to be enjoyed and looked forward to, both partners have an obligation of making themselves alluring to each other.
No one wants to have to endure their partner’s mouth odor all in the name of kissing.
If either of them has a smoking or drinking habit, this may also contribute to the kissing desire decline.
More frequent and diligent washing of the mouth, chewing gum, mouthwash, etc, could be helpful.
And in a case where the mouth odor is caused by a health condition, it is expedient that they seek medical help so as to combat it.
5. The presence of their children is a hindrance
When it was just the two of them, they most likely felt at liberty to kiss each other anytime and anywhere around the house.
Now that they have extra pairs of eyes in the house, they will probably want to take caution not to expose their kids to expressions of love that are inappropriate for them to witness.
The children are all over the place, and they can barely have enough time to steal one or two kisses to reassure each other of their love and attraction in the midst of the daily stress that comes with parenting.
In a bid to be cautious, if they are not very intentional, they may begin to lose interest in kissing.
However, where there is a will, there is a way.
6. They get into too many quarrels
This is also one major reason why couples lose interest in kissing.
Offenses greatly affect intimacy in marriage.
They may not be totally avoidable, as this is common in all forms of relationships; however, if they become incessant, there is no way emotions will not be negatively affected, thereby reducing physical shows of affection such as kissing.
The more peaceful a union is, the more wholesome romance is likely to be, and the more kisses are likely to abound.
7. It is not a mutual love language
As powerful as kissing could be for most romantic relationships, it is still not surprising that some people do not find kissing so gratifying and pleasurable.
It could be due to a past traumatizing and uncomfortable experience or mere personal preference.
If your spouse has been kissing you just to make you feel good and not for any personal benefit, it’s only a matter of time before they stop kissing or allowing themselves to be kissed.
They might have assumed or hoped that they would ease into it and get used to it as time went on.
They may gradually start to get tired of engaging in something that they do not enjoy, all in a bid to please the other.
For some people, kissing is not a core show of love, and they do not feel deprived or starved if kissing does not happen.
This could be frustrating for a partner who loves to kiss and be kissed, and they may eventually stop asking to be kissed, albeit disgruntled.
It is in cases such as this that sacrifices and compromises come to play in marriage.
Married couples who have stopped kissing each other might not have necessarily stopped loving each other.
If they desire to resume kissing each other and bring back the spark of old, they need to fan the flames of their desire for each other.
They need to have a conversation about the reason why kissing is missing in their relationship so they can know what to start doing differently or cease doing so that they can resume enjoying electrifying and sensual kisses like before.