7 Stupid Things Women Do in a Relationship

Hey sis.

Don’t close this page in anger.

This post isn’t to shame you; it’s to wake you up.

Because some of us are doing ourselves dirty in the name of love.

And the worst part?

We often know it’s nonsense, but we convince ourselves that “he’ll change,” “no one is perfect,” or “at least I have someone.”

Oh well, let’s see 7 of the stupid things we do in relationships:

7 Stupid Things Women Do in a Relationship

1. Making Him the Centre of Your Entire Life

I understand that when you’re in love, it’s easy to make a man your entire world.

You start rearranging your entire life around him….your time, your goals, your routine, even your friendships.

He sneezes, and you’re there with a tissue and ginger tea.

He calls, and you abandon your own plans just to be available.

You stop hanging out with your girls.

You stop pursuing your own interests.

You want to spend every minute with him.

It sounds romantic until you wake up one day and realize you’ve lost yourself.

A relationship should be an addition to your life, not a replacement of it.

You had an identity before he came.

You had a purpose before he called you “babe.”

You had a life before he came into your life.

If everything in your life starts and ends with him, that’s not love, that’s obsession.

And obsession is not healthy.

It’s not sustainable.

It will drain you.

Because one day, he’ll want space.

Or he’ll act distant.

Or God forbid, he disappoints you.

And because you’ve built your entire existence around him, it’ll feel like your whole world is falling apart.

You can love someone deeply without losing yourself completely.

So, keep your life.

Keep your dreams.

Keep your identity.

The right man won’t need you to disappear to prove your love.

He’ll love you more when you’re whole, not when you’re hollow.

2. Hiding Your Real Feelings to “Keep the Peace”

I know this one feels noble on the surface.

You’re just trying to be the bigger person.

You don’t want to come off as too emotional.

You don’t want to start a fight.

You tell yourself, “Let me just let it go; it’s not that deep.”

Except… it is that deep.

And the more you bury your feelings to keep the peace, the more resentful you become.

You start withdrawing emotionally and crying in secret.

If you keep swallowing your feelings just to keep a man, one day you’ll choke on the very silence you thought was saving the relationship.

You’ll smile on the outside, but inside you’re suffering.

You’ll say “it’s fine” when it’s not.

A man who truly loves you won’t want you to hide your hurt to protect his ego.

He’ll want to know.

He’ll want to understand.

He’ll create room for your emotions, not punish you for them.

So, ask yourself this:

“If I have to hide how I feel to keep him, do I really have him?”

3. Playing Wife to a Man Who Hasn’t Even Said “Will You Be My Girlfriend?”

Too many women are in situationships cooking like wives, praying like pastors, sacrificing like mothers, investing like shareholders for a man who hasn’t even officially asked them to be his girlfriend.

No title.

No clarity.

No direction.

No definition of the relationship.

Sis, if he hasn’t made things clear, you owe him nothing.

Stop overfunctioning for a man who hasn’t even defined the relationship.

You’re doing back-to-back midnight prayers for him.

You’re babysitting his dreams, editing his CV, borrowing him money, running his errands, acting like his personal assistant while he introduces you to people as “my friend” or “someone I’m talking to.”

Sis.

You are not a trial version of a wife.

You are not a placeholder until he’s ready.

If he wants a wife, let him do the work.

Let him define the relationship, be clear about where it’s going, and treat you accordingly.

Don’t go and finish all your wife energy on a man who isn’t even sure what he wants for dinner, let alone who he wants to marry.

Giving him wife benefits without commitment won’t speed up the process; it’ll only waste your time.

You don’t have to prove you’re wife material.

A man who knows your value won’t need a demo version.

He’ll make it official or leave you alone.

4. Staying After Repeated Disrespect Because You Love Him

They say men want respect and women want love.

Well, not in my books.

I believe in mutual love and respect.

You love me, I love you.

You respect me, I respect you.

So, if I have to beg for basic respect from a man, what exactly am I doing there?

Love without respect is a ticking time bomb.

He may claim to love you, but if he talks to you anyhow, insults you during arguments, embarrasses you in public, flirts with other women, or constantly crosses your boundaries, that’s not love.

And yet, so many women stay.

Why?

Because “I love him.”

Love is not an excuse for suffering.

Love is not a license for someone to treat you like nonsense.

Love does not mean enduring repeated humiliation with the hope that one day he’ll see how much I care.

How much longer do you want to keep proving your loyalty to someone who is consistently proving that he doesn’t value it?

There’s a difference between forgiving a mistake and tolerating a pattern.

If he disrespects you once and owns it, learns, and grows?

That’s one thing.

But if he keeps doing it, apologizes just enough to keep you from leaving, then does it again, that’s who he is.

And no amount of “I love you” can fix a man who doesn’t respect you.

Don’t let love become your prison.

You can walk away from anyone who repeatedly disrespects you, no matter how much your heart feels for them.

Love without respect is not love.

5. Letting Yourself Get Dickmatized

Okay… so…

You know that moment when all your brain cells leave the group chat because the sex is so good?

Yeah.

That’s being dickmatized.

It’s when your body is getting everything it wants, but your soul is starved.

You are overlooking the lies and excusing the inconsistency.

Why?

Because the bedroom ministry is anointed, and now you’re confusing pleasure for partnership.

Yeah, great sex can be blinding.

It has made many smart, powerful, intelligent women turn into private investigators one minute, and prayer warriors the next, trying to make nonsense make sense.

You know he’s not good for you.

You know he’s not emotionally available, not respectful, not consistent, not reliable.

But you keep going back because your body is leading the relationship, and your heart is tagging along with blindfolds.

Sis.

Sex is not

commitment. character. security. peace.

If that’s the only area where he’s showing up and showing out, you’re in a situationship, not a relationship.

You deserve intimacy that feels safe, not just intense.

So before you lose your voice, your values, and your peace, all in the name of “he touches me right,” pause and ask yourself:

“But does he treat me right?”

Because if the only thing keeping you is the sex, then trust me, you’re already lost.

6. Believing You Can Change Him With Prayer and Patience

I’m a Christian who believes in the power of prayer.

I’ve experienced the hand of God through prayer in my life, work, and family.

However, while prayer is powerful, using prayer as a strategy to change a person who doesn’t even recognize a problem with their behavior is not spiritual; it’s self-deception.

You are not the Holy Spirit.

Too many women sit in toxic, exhausting relationships, convincing themselves that if they just hold on long enough, pray hard enough, cry deeply enough, fast long enough, he’ll change.

God will not force someone to become what they’ve chosen not to be.

Prayer doesn’t override free will.

If he’s lazy, emotionally unavailable, manipulative, addicted to cheating, disrespectful, inconsistent, sis, your prayer is not a remote control.

Yes, pray.

Yes, intercede.

Yes, speak life.

But also watch his actions.

Is he showing fruit?

Is he willing to grow?

Is he taking steps?

You can love someone and still walk away.

You can pray for someone and still protect your peace.

Don’t let the church, society, or your own fear convince you that your role in life is to fix a grown man who doesn’t want to be fixed.

If he wants to grow, he will.

If he doesn’t, you’ll spend years watering a seed he never even planted.

7. Fighting Every Woman Around Him

One of the stupid things women do in a relationship is fight women who don’t even know they’re in a competition with you.

You’ve turned into a full-time inspector, monitoring every woman who breathes near your man.

You’re scrolling through likes, lurking in comment sections, side-eyeing every female friend, colleague, cousin, and even church sister who says “hi” with too much excitement.

If you have to constantly fight other women to keep your man, then sis… your problem is not those women.

Your problem is him.

A man who respects you, values you, and honors your relationship won’t create confusion.

He won’t be entertaining side conversations that make you feel insecure.

He won’t be acting like it’s your job to guard him like a bank vault.

All this energy you’re using to monitor and mark territory?

Use it to check if you’re actually being loved right.

Because if every other woman feels comfortable flirting with him, chatting with him at odd hours, or calling him “babe” casually, that’s not your cue to attack them, it’s your cue to ask him, “What are you allowing that’s making these women so bold?”

You are not his bouncer.

You are not meant to live in a state of constant high alert, stress, and suspicion, every single day.

A faithful man gives you peace, not paranoia.

Love is powerful, but it was never meant to cloud your judgment.

It’s beautiful to give, to serve, to believe in someone, but not at the cost of your dignity, peace, and identity..

So if you saw yourself in any of these stupid things, don’t beat yourself up.

Just wake up.

Grow from it.

Learn from it.

Promise yourself better.

I’m rooting for you!