Openness and honesty are ingredients of a healthy marriage.
Marriage is a relationship between a man and his wife who have decided to become one.
They are a team with a common goal in sight.
They are lovers who should believe in each other.
They are partners in progress.
It’s a place where the two parties are vulnerable to each other.
Secrecy is one of the leading causes of marital breakdown.
When couples keep secrets from each other, it shows that they don’t even trust each other.
I once heard a man say he’d rather keep certain things from his wife because men shouldn’t spill it all and that it’s safe for her not to know.
Well, I was taken aback by his words. I wondered to myself, “Who made such a rule?”
This is your wife, man.
I’ve come to realize that many men hold this same mindset. But really, to what end?
Some men believe it’s safer to hide certain things from their wives because they might be unable to bear them.
But, until you open up, you might be unable to determine how strong she is.
If you love your wife like you profess, you shouldn’t hide from your wife.
These are some things a married man should never hide from his wife.
9 Things a Married Man Should Never Hide From His Spouse
1. Health condition
Life can be unfair sometimes.
I understand that it’s not relatively easy to tell your partner your health status.
But really, she’s your wife.
She has a right to know what’s going on with you.
Marriage is not only meant for when the going is good but also for the bad.
In fact, “it is full of the good, the bad and the ugly”.
You may be afraid she will leave you once she knows your health status.
But what if she stays and decides to hold your hand through the journey?
Besides, it won’t be fair if she hears from an outsider rather than from you, her beloved husband.
It takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable.
It isn’t easy, I know.
If you have a health condition you’re battling, it’s good to let her know.
2. Financial status
Some men can’t even tell their wives how much they earn.
Bro!
This is your wife we’re talking about here.
Those whose earnings are low feel if their wives know how much they are earning, they might probably lose respect for them.
Those who are relatively earning well believe that if their wives know their earnings, they will make unnecessary demands.
Over time, I’ve come to realize that some of these men make these conclusions because of what they’ve heard from other men,
And not because their wives have done that before.
Your wife should be able to know how much you earn.
She should be able to know if you have a loan you are paying.
What you both need to do is to have a heart-to-heart conversation about finance in your home.
Make a workable budget for your home.
3. Addictions
Addictions can make two lovers become strangers to each other.
Some addictions men struggle with include alcohol, smoking, substance use, gambling, etc.
Opening up about your struggle with addiction isn’t easy.
However, it is necessary, especially if you want out.
This is because you don’t know what her reaction will be.
But think of it this way, if you refuse to let her know and she walks in on you someday,
What do you think will happen?
Or do you think she can forgive you if she hears of it from a third party?
When you want to converse with her, plan what to say and how to start.
As much as possible, prepare your mind that she might not take it lightly with you.
It’s not easy to hear such, you know, right?
However, one of the steps to overcoming addiction is opening up to people who can help you.
4. Fear and insecurities
Everyone has a dose of fear and insecurity.
And when they are not correctly handled, they could lead to low self-esteem.
At the same time, they can negatively impact your love life.
You should be able to communicate your fears and insecurities with your wife openly.
Let her know the things that are making you insecure.
Both of you can take conscious steps on how to help you overcome the fears you have.
5. Career aspirations
You’ve got beautiful plans. Yeah!
You see yourself becoming a CEO in the next few years, beautiful!
But have you told your wife?
In a healthy relationship, your wife is your first cheerleader.
You should be able to let her know your career aspirations.
It will help if you have her physical and emotional support.
She doesn’t have to be in the profession with you before you can fill her in on your plans.
6. Accomplishments
You just won a contract?
Did you just get promoted at work?
Amazing stuff!
Your wife should know about it.
Marriage is a relationship where both parties share their wins and celebrate each other.
When your wife is in the know of how well you’re doing for yourself, she will surely be proud of you and also pray for you.
Wouldn’t she like being called “the CEO’s wife”? Lol.
But really, that’s it.
As a married man, you shouldn’t hide your successes from your partner.
When you win, it is also her win.
7. Long-term plans
Making plans is necessary for a great future.
We don’t just wake up and start making decisions without putting plans in place.
However, as a man, your wife should be carried along in all your plans.
This is because any plan you make will positively or negatively affect her.
For example, if you plan to retire from your job at 50 and you are already in your 40s,
When you run your plan by your wife, you both will start taking steps on things to put in place for you to have a soft landing after retirement.
Similarly, your plans for your children can’t be carried out alone without you both working it out.
8. Weaknesses
Just as we all have our areas of strengths, so also do we have our weaknesses.
If there’s any area you’re struggling with, you should be able to tell your wife.
She will, in turn, be able to give you the necessary support and encouragement.
Some men always want to be macho.
They always want to be strong.
They don’t ever want to be seen as weak.
They’d instead bottle up their weaknesses than let their wives know.
This is not the best.
9. Offence
Disagreements are bound to happen.
You both are two different people.
It’s almost impossible for lovers not to quarrel.
If you’re angry with your wife due to something she did, let her know.
There’s no point in letting her figure it out by herself.
She’s not a mind reader.
If you’re offended about something she said or did, you should let her know.
When disagreements are not resolved on time, it could lead to resentment.
Conclusion
It would help if you always remember that this is your marriage.
Beyond many people’s harmful ideology about marriage, you can create a healthy reality.
Your wife should be your confidant and friend.
If you have any doubt about her, it’s better to discuss it.