Words are powerful and can create a lasting impact.
One thing I am certain of is that the significance and relevance of words hit harder when they come from someone you love.
It is true that being married means being open and honest with your partner, being their advisor, friend, and confidant.
However, it is also important to draw some boundaries in a marriage to avoid negative emotions from taking over the home.
I recently learned about having a family constitution as a couple and one of the key sections is conflict resolution.
You cannot have a method for resolving conflicts in your home, and you still throw tantrums with words.
The funny thing here is that those words are the determinant of how the whole conversation will go.
They can either escalate it or resolve it.
Those words or expressions you should avoid saying to your husband are the reason for this blog post.
If you’re currently experiencing a major meltdown in your home, you might not know they’re the cause.
7 Mean Things A Married Woman Should Never Say To Her Husband
1. “That’s your problem, deal with it!”
Ever found yourself in a heated moment, blurting out to your hubby that he’s on his own with his problem?
As a married woman, telling your husband that his problem is his own to deal with can come across as unloving and unsupportive.
This shows that you’re currently not on his team or his side of things.
It feels like you’re just throwing your hands up, doesn’t it?
I can understand that this might have been blurted in the heat of the moment, especially after you’ve warned him a gazillion times, those words just slip out.
But trust me, it can leave a lasting mark on your relationship if you don’t communicate and work through issues together as a team.
At this point, it is better to keep mute than to say this because it will aggravate an already tense situation.
2. “Do whatever you like.”
A few days ago, my husband picked out an outfit for me to wear to a family function.
I initially liked the idea of wearing it, but considering the weather, I told him I couldn’t without telling him the reason.
Instead of communicating this reason to him, I went on to pick another outfit which ended up looking tacky.
I went back to the room to ask for his suggestion on another outfit but he was asking what happened to what he initially picked out.
He didn’t understand and also couldn’t come up with another outfit inspiration for whatever reason.
I, on the other hand, was getting impatient and blurted out, “Do whatever you like.”
This caused tension between us and resulted in me ending up wearing the outfit without feeling confident or comfortable.
Looking back, I realized that my response was dismissive and showed a lack of respect for my husband’s opinion and effort.
It also left him feeling like I didn’t care about his feelings or input.
Instead of shutting down or dismissing your partner’s ideas or opinions, try to understand where they are coming from and find a compromise together.
3. “You can’t do anything right!”
This phrase is very destructive and disrespectful in a marriage.
When a wife says this to her husband, it strips him of his dignity as a man and as the head of the family.
No matter what he does or how hard he tries, if she constantly tells him, “You can’t do anything right,” then she has already taken away any motivation for him to make her feel loved or to make her happy.
Men need recognition and respect in order for them to make their wives feel truly appreciated.
If the wife is constantly finding fault with what he does, then it will not only lead to frustration but also resentment on both sides.
Criticism should always be constructive and not done in a hurtful or demeaning manner.
4. “Mr. so and so does it better for his wife.”
It is highly unlikely that a woman will get a result or get her man to do anything for her when she compares him to someone else.
Each person is different and has their own way of expressing love and affection.
Comparing your partner to someone else will only lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment in the relationship.
He might do it for a bit due to the comparison, but soon, he will feel defeated and devalued.
Moreover, this only serves to create tension in the relationship rather than bolster love.
The best way to get her man to act is through appreciation and respect, not by implying that someone else does it better.
A wife must avoid comparing her husband to another man as it opens a Pandora’s box of assumptions in his head.
This will also make him begin to doubt his abilities and do things from a place of degradation.
5. “My ex always did this for me…”
This is a dangerous statement and should be avoided when possible.
It can make the husband feel inadequate and not appreciated for his own unique style, which will lead to further confusion and even resentment.
He may start to think that he’s unable to meet her expectations or that she still has feelings for her old partner.
There’s a wave of annoyance and confusion when conversations about the ‘ex’ come up.
It is believed that what happened in the past should stay in the past.
A wife should refrain from talking about the ex as it gives the husband an idea that she’s still hung up on him, and no man wants to compete or have to compete with that reality.
6. “I want to be left alone.”
Recently, I got to understand that I am not the only woman that craves space.
It’s not that we want to be completely alone, but sometimes we need some time to ourselves to recharge and reflect.
This could be due to a busy day at work, stressful family situations, or just feeling overwhelmed by daily responsibilities.
But on the other hand, a man does not process things like this.
They believe asking for space is a sign of weakness or that they are not enough for their partner.
And the truth is that as valid as the reasons might be when this is said, a man will feel deflated knowing that his wife doesn’t want him around her.
He desires that she needs him as often as possible, but when she begins to voice the opposite, then something is terribly wrong.
Statements like this can be a huge red flag that can make your husband feel neglected.
He wants to know that he is important to you and feels loved by you.
You should make sure to carve out time for him, both alone and with family and friends so that he can have his own space as well as have intimate moments with you.
That way, you wouldn’t need to say this to him or explain the context that you intend it to be.
5. “I don’t think I love you anymore”
You shouldn’t tell your husband you don’t think you love him anymore.
This statement is quite heartbreaking, and truthfully, there are a number of reasons one can arrive at this statement.
However, it should be the last thing on one’s mind to say during an argument with one’s spouse.
It should be approached with care and understanding, as it can cause irreparable damage.
Instead of blurting this out when feeling angry, try to communicate your feelings in an open and honest way while being respectful to your partner.
Also, before making such a statement, remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Even if it’s taken back, it has left a wound that will require a long time to heal.
6. “I don’t care”
Men are conditioned by society to clam up in their shells and hide their emotions.
When they have a spouse with whom they can be vulnerable, they require greater attention to their needs, words, and desires.
Saying “I don’t care” means they shouldn’t tell you about how they are feeling.
And this is a call for disaster because if he is not vulnerable at home, he will be elsewhere.
It also implies that you don’t care about him and are not interested in what he has to say.
7. “We need to talk”:
There should be a better way this can be communicated without putting a man on his toes.
A lot of men get scared of this because of the difficult conversation that follows afterward.
While this is not always true, the need to make this statement without getting into the conversation smoothly is a sign that something difficult is coming.
A better approach could be asking, “Can we talk?” or adding an endearment to the line like this; “babe, let’s talk about…/babe, we need to talk about…”.
It reduces the wave of anxiety he might feel when told, “We need to talk.”
There’s more, and some of them include vulgar insults, backhanded comments about their efforts, and even the common weaponizing of silence in the form of silent treatment can speak volumes.
Once again, a woman must never underestimate the powerful effect her words have on her husband.
When words are spoken, they can’t be taken back.
In cases like this, it is good to always remember that prevention is better than cure.