In an ideal world, marriage is meant to be a journey of love and happiness.
Alas, we don’t live in an ideal world and only a few things are as they should be – especially love and marriage.
With the rates of marriage getting lower by the day and divorce rates still remaining high, it paints a really bleak picture.
The truth is that couples don’t actually marry to get divorced.
They mostly marry because they love each other.
At least, that was the case with you…
You could see the love in your husband’s eyes as he repeated the marriage vows…
“To love and cherish you forever”…
A few years down the line, it seems like you can’t even spot a glimpse of that love in his eyes, no matter how desperately you search for it.
You are sad and wondering how this could have happened.
Well, you are not alone in this.
There are several women who are experiencing what you are experiencing.
To help you get clarity on what it means when your husband stops loving you, I have curated a list of the various reasons why husbands stop loving their wives.
It is my hope that knowing the reasons can either set you on a path to reigniting your love or give you closure.
Come along, let’s get right into it.
When Your Husband Stops Loving You: 6 Things It Means
1. There is another woman
I remember having a discussion with some friends and the conversation centered around the possibility of a man loving two women at the same time.
While I didn’t discount the fact that it could happen, I also had to mention that in the rare cases that this occurs, the man will have someone he loves more.
It’s just normal.
However, most of the time, it is not even a matter of sharing his love with another woman.
It is usually a total shift in affection.
When your husband stops loving you, one of the most common things it means is that there is another woman out there.
The fact is that we will always come across attractive people as we go about our daily activities.
It takes discipline, loyalty, and an acknowledgment that love is more of a decision than a feeling to stay true to your partner.
This is the ideology that will help you in those weak times…
Those times your partner no longer makes you feel butterflies in your belly.
If your husband has fallen out of love with you, it may be a sign that he is falling in love with another woman.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that he has started cheating on you…
At least, not physically.
However, he is considering it, and his resolve weakens the more he thinks about it.
There are various signs that a man is either cheating or considering it.
From being extremely cautious with where he leaves his phone to spending as little time as possible at home; they all point to one thing…
There is another woman.
2. He has unmet expectations
One of the problems in many marriages today is dissatisfaction.
This is among the leading causes of divorce in marriages.
Everyone has expectations from their marriage.
Some have unrealistic expectations while others just want companionship and love.
That isn’t too much to ask for.
However, there comes a stage in most marriages when it is difficult to keep doing the things you used to do at the same rate.
You now have kids to consider, bills to pay, overtime at work… and a husband to satisfy.
You are facing all these responsibilities, and for the most part, it seems like you are constantly struggling to keep up with them.
The joy of motherhood and marriage is sucked out of you and sometimes you feel like running away.
At times like this, many women create a scale of preference, and satisfying their husbands is mostly the last thing on that list.
This is where the trouble begins.
When a husband stops loving his wife, it may be as a result of intense dissatisfaction.
I am not only focused on the sexual aspects of relationships.
Husbands also desire emotional satisfaction.
They want to be able to come home and confide in you.
They want to be comforted by your words and presence.
When this is not forthcoming, they may begin to detach themselves from their wives.
With increasing emotional distance, the flames of love die until all you have is a vague memory of what used to be a roaring fire.
3. He resents you
Love doesn’t thrive in a resentful environment.
Rather, it is stifled until every ounce of it is gone from your relationship.
Conflicts are unavoidable in relationships.
In fact, they are important in any healthy relationship.
Where it becomes a problem is how we handle it.
If conflicts are not resolved the right way, it can lead to resentment and grudges.
When your partner begins to be resentful of you, you may just be looking at the beginning of the end of your relationship.
If your husband stops loving you, it could mean that he has been keeping grudges against you.
You may have offended him several times, and he never spoke about it, but each time, his love for you took a hit.
Everyone messes up from time to time.
It is the power of forgiveness that keeps relationships moving forward.
However, forgiveness is a choice and if your husband stops loving you, it is apparently a choice he didn’t take.
4. He is bored
Marriage is too sacred for this to be the reason people end it.
At least, this is how I feel about it.
For a lot of men, however, it is a good enough reason to end their relationships.
Initially, most relationships are exciting.
The fun of feeling in love, the excitement of spending time with the person you love, and the heady sensation you get when you touch each other?
Soon, it all wears out and the relationship settles into something more comfortable and calm.
It is no longer a raging river; it is now a calm pool.
Some men can’t abide by this.
They live for the thrill and when they can no longer find it in their marriages, they look for it elsewhere.
Long-term commitments like marriage may seem boring but there’s a reason why it is called “settling down.”
If your husband seems so bored with marriage, it may be the reason he no longer loves you.
You must note that even while everyone needs to settle down, it is important to have fun sometimes.
Do something fun with the man you love.
It is in spending quality time that love is nurtured.
In your case, it can still nurtured back to life.
5. He is indifferent to you
Over time, many couples grow to become strangers.
They have so many things going on that they no longer spend time together.
When I was in school, I stayed in the hostel.
In a room, we had four people staying together.
The rooms were big though.
But it was still pretty cramped.
In that cramped living space, there were rooms that always bubbled with life and laughter.
Roommates who liked each other and behaved like they were relatives.
In the same hostel, there were rooms where roommates were civil and polite to each other but never became friends.
My point is that some marriages are like those rooms with polite strangers who are not friends.
Some couples go about their business and barely talk to each other because they are not really interested in doing that.
When your husband stops loving you, it could mean that he has become indifferent to you.
He doesn’t care to know what is happening in your life.
He doesn’t argue with you because he doesn’t even care enough to get angry when you do something he doesn’t like.
When your husband stops loving you, it means that he is already indifferent to you.
Indifference is one of the greatest destroyers of relationships and it should be dealt with before it causes severe damage to your marriage.
Ask yourself why he feels so indifferent to you.
When it started too is also of great importance.
This is a great place to start.
6. He doesn’t like the physical changes in you
As we grow older, we all experience changes in how we look.
This is why physical looks are considered to be too fickle for you to base your love on.
Sometimes, when a man falls out of love with you, it may be because of some physical changes in your body.
You may have added more weight and perhaps not in the right places.
You may have added a few more wrinkles, and perhaps your sense of fashion has refused to move along with the times.
For me, this is a very fickle reason to stop loving someone.
But if his “love” for you was mainly physical, this could explain it.
Deciding what to do in this instance could be complicated.
You may want to hit the gym and get in good physical shape, but you must ensure that you are doing this for your own welfare.
You may also want to dress better but it has to be because you want to look good.
Not because your husband said he doesn’t love you anymore because you are overweight or don’t dress well.
If you have had issues in your communication and conflict resolution, you need to work on them.
Love is not just enough to keep a relationship going…
Effective communication and conflict-resolution skills are also required.
If your marriage is at the point where your husband feels like he has stopped loving you, all hope is not lost.
If he is ready to go through the process, love can be re-ignited again.
Love is beyond feelings but is many times relegated to people’s feelings.
Love is a choice.
If you both have chosen each other, you can engage the services of a mature professional marriage counsellor to navigate the issues and find joy in each other again.
I pray the sun shines in your relationship again.
Cheers!