The very thought that your husband may be harboring feelings for another woman is wild, and it is the nightmare of most married women.
This is not a pleasant subject, and I apologize in advance for any distress it may cause you.
No wife wants to even be in a situation where she has to wonder if her husband has feelings for another woman.
Relationships are meant to be built on love, trust, and mutual respect.
You are expected to trust your partner because that’s what a relationship is all about.
However, certain subtle changes in his behavior may signify that your trust may be misplaced.
Despite your inclination to always believe the best in your husband, you may not be able to shake off that niggling feeling that something is not right.
You can usually sense this shift in your relationship if you are observant enough.
You can always sense when there is a shift of affection in your relationship because there is always a change in behavior.
Let’s examine what these changes are and what you can do in this situation.
9 Signs Your Husband Has Feelings For Another Woman
1. He becomes emotionally distant
If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that you can’t love two people equally at the same time.
When I was younger, I used to be scared that I would grow up into a polygamist.
The reason for this fear?
I realized that while my mates would talk about crushing on just one girl, I had multiple crushes.
I liked all of them equally, but when the time came for me to be a man and approach the lady I liked, I chose one.
The funny part was that the choice was easy for me.
I may have liked the other girls, but I knew the one who had a strong hold on my heart.
Your husband can’t be emotionally invested in you and another woman at the same time.
If he is beginning to have feelings for another woman, then it is safe to assume that the fervor of his love for you has started cooling off.
When a man is totally invested in his relationship, there is a strong emotional connection between him and his wife.
Their intimacy is top-notch, and their chemistry is undeniable because he is totally in love with and committed to her.
However, if you begin to notice that your husband is pulling away from you emotionally, it may be a sign that something is amiss.
He may seem less interested in talking to you or just generally distracted.
You can chalk it up to stress and fatigue the first few times this happens.
But if this becomes a frequent occurrence in your relationship, it is a sign that your husband is becoming emotionally distant.
When your husband is not interested in sharing his thoughts with you, it could be a red flag – a sign that he is already sharing his thoughts with someone else.
The fact is that if you notice a gradual but consistent emotional withdrawal from your husband, it could just be a sign that he has feelings for another woman.
2. He is always on his phone
Recently, I reread a Christian family series called “The Redemption series” by Karen Kingsbury.
My first time reading the books was when I was in primary school.
Rereading the books was a very insightful experience for me.
In the first book, a wife discovered that her husband had been cheating on her with one of his students in the most painful way ever.
After crying her eyes out over the heartbreak and betrayal, she started recalling all the signs she should have paid attention to.
The phone calls at odd hours, the fact that their communication had taken a hit a long time ago and that they hadn’t bonded over anything in a while.
I am saying this because waiting to see some of the signs I will list in this article may be waiting too long.
Things may have gotten out of hand already.
For instance, waiting until you notice that he spends so much time on his phone may not be a “stitch in time” because the fact that he is beginning to spend a lot of his time on the phone with the other woman may already mean he is already totally attracted to her and she is also attracted to him.
When a man’s phone is uncharacteristically always in his hands, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
Especially if he is always on it, chatting, smiling, and laughing at something someone is texting him.
You may be inclined to believe that he is talking to a friend.
But it may be someone else.
This is especially true if he begins to make long calls at odd hours or his eyes seem glued to his screen while he is conversing with you.
He may say he is just multitasking, but you should know that if his chat is so important that he can’t pay full attention to something, there is something amiss.
He may just be communicating with the woman he is attracted to.
3. He frequently mentions the other woman
This sign is actually painfully obvious if you are being sensitive.
I won’t generalize and say all men talk about the woman they love/like.
But many men actually do this.
Do you want to know where a man’s heart lies?
Check who he talks about all the time.
Of course, you are not expecting him to speak about her in a romantic context.
No, it’s not that at all.
It’s just the frequency with which her name comes up in your conversations.
It feels like you can’t have a meaningful conversation without her name coming up.
My ex-girlfriend used to be suspicious of me because I had this female friend I always talked about.
She would look at me suspiciously and say she felt I was too close to my friend.
Well, the truth is that I was developing feelings for my friend back then, but I knew a relationship between us wasn’t going anywhere.
So, I tried to deal with it.
But getting over those feelings was more complicated than I thought.
My girlfriend noticed, even though I tried to keep it under wraps.
My point is…
If you feel like your husband has been distant and may have feelings for another woman, you should take note of the people he talks about frequently.
There will be that one person he speaks about most frequently…
That’s probably her.
This is especially telling if he seems to light up when he talks about her.
4. Physical intimacy is greatly reduced
One noticeable change in your husband when he has feelings for another woman is the significant reduction in physical intimacy.
If you notice that physical intimacy is at an all-time low in your relationship despite your concerted efforts, it is a sign that something is wrong.
Physical intimacy is not just what brings partners together; it is also a product of strong emotional intimacy.
When a man starts harboring feelings for another woman, the first thing that takes a hit in the relationship is emotional intimacy.
In turn, this affects physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy is more than bedroom gymnastics.
It also involves romantic gestures like holding hands, kisses, and hugs.
If there is barely any physical intimacy between you and your husband, it is a sign that his mind is elsewhere.
It may be difficult to confront the fact your husband no longer longs for physical intimacy with you; it is an important sign that he may have feelings for another woman.
5. He is frequently absent from home
Remember the book series I spoke about earlier?
Well, one of the major signs the wife should have noticed was that her husband went from loving to spend time at home to barely ever coming home.
He would either claim to be working late or going to a work conference for the weekend.
While the man was already cheating, this all started even when he hadn’t had any physical contact with the other woman.
If your husband starts spending more time away from home without a clear explanation, it could be a cause for concern.
Frequent late nights at work or sudden trips could be a cover for spending time with someone else.
Staying away from home to be with another woman is a sign that your husband is in an emotional affair with another woman.
While the whole thing may not be physical yet, this is just as threatening to your marriage as actual cheating can be.
It needs to be nipped in the bud before it becomes a full-blown problem.
6. He becomes more concerned about his appearance
I remember watching a middle-aged married man primp himself in front of a mirror.
He was so particular about his looks and clothes that I instantly got suspicious of him.
Why is he suddenly so particular about his appearance?
Well, later events proved my instincts were right.
My point is that when a guy likes a woman, he tries to impress her, right?
He takes care to wear the right color combinations, use the right cologne, and sport the right haircut.
Don’t get me wrong, this may not be a sign that he has feelings for another woman.
He may have just realized that he needs to improve his appearance all on his own.
But what are the odds of that happening?
If this sign is in combination with emotional withdrawal and frequent unexplained absences from home, it is a sign that he has feelings for another woman.
7. He is no longer interested in shared activities
One of the things that appeals to me the most about relationships is companionship.
The fact that you have a companion to share activities can be nice.
It is also a great way to bond.
However, if your husband suddenly seems to take very little interest in shared activities, it may be a sign that he is not feeling emotionally invested in the relationship.
He has lost interest in the activities that he used to enjoy with you.
If your husband no longer wants to participate in hobbies or events you used to do together, it might be a sign his interests have shifted to another woman.
8. He forgets important dates
Important dates like anniversaries and birthdays are like the holy grail of relationships.
They are sacred and shouldn’t be forgotten because they are milestones that show how far you have gone in a relationship.
If he has started demonstrating a trend of forgetting important days, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
This is especially true if he has forgotten almost all the important dates in your relationship in the space of a year.
However, this shouldn’t be a cause for alarm.
Some men are terrible with dates, myself included.
It doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
If this sign is displayed in combination with other signs, then there is something wrong.
Your husband may be developing feelings for another woman.
9. He quarrels with you a lot
There’s no relationship that doesn’t experience its fair share of conflicts.
So, don’t start looking at every disagreement with your husband as a sign that he has feelings for another woman.
However, if your husband seems more irritable than ever, it is a sign that something is wrong.
When a man starts having feelings for another woman, it may seem that nothing you do can satisfy him.
Everything seems like a trigger to get him angry.
If you try to be nice to him, it rubs him the wrong way.
If you do otherwise, he still gets angry.
Plus, even your simplest questions may trigger some level of defensiveness in him.
He knows he shouldn’t be having the feelings he is harboring for another woman.
Hence, he is usually defensive and extremely irritable.
If you recognize these signs in your relationship, it doesn’t mean your marriage has to end.
You can still get your husband back if you follow the tips I am about to share with you.
The first thing you need to do is to have an honest conversation with your husband about your concerns.
Listen to his perspective.
If he comes clean to you and expresses a desire to stay with you, good for you.
This is the stage at which some husbands actually admit their feelings for another woman and request a divorce.
If this happens to you, it’s sad, but you deserve a relationship with someone who truly loves you.
If he expresses a desire to stay married to you and fight the attraction to the other woman, you may need to involve a relationship counselor to guide you through this process.
You will need to reconnect and reignite the love and passion you once had in your marriage.
It won’t be easy to get through this phase, but with patience and determination, things could work out fine.
Reflect on your relationship and consider if there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Perhaps there are things you need to change or improve upon.
There is always room for improvement, even in the best marriages.
Most importantly, ensure that your well-being is also a priority.
If you don’t care for yourself, who will?