6 Signs Your Husband Has Feelings For Another Woman

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6 Signs Your Husband Has Feelings For Another Woman

1. He’s available but not present

 

No matter how much of a serial cheater a man is, he cannot emotionally pour into two women at the same time.

It’s just not possible.

Adulting is stressful.

I run a business and engage with my team all day.

By the time I get home, I want to decompress and connect with my family.

That’s where I choose to spend what’s left of me after the day has taken its share.

Now imagine a man doing all of that and also emotionally investing in another woman on the side.

Something has to give.

And what gives is you.

Because hun, you’re safe. You’re home.

You’re not going anywhere.

And so unconsciously, he starts rationing what he gives you.

You don’t talk anymore like you used to; he doesn’t spend as much time with you.

Even when you try to engage him, it’s like you are disturbing him. 

He’s physically in the house, but emotionally somewhere you can’t reach.

If your husband is pouring emotional energy into another woman, don’t expect him to come home full.

He’s already spent, and you’re receiving what’s left, which is not much.

You know men don’t know how to multitask like that. 

 

2. He is always on his phone

Recently, I reread a Christian family series called “The Redemption series” by Karen Kingsbury.

My first time reading the books was when I was in primary school.

Rereading the books was a very insightful experience for me.

In the first book, a wife discovered that her husband had been cheating on her with one of his students in the most painful way ever.

After crying her eyes out over the heartbreak and betrayal, she started recalling all the signs she should have paid attention to.

The phone calls at odd hours, the fact that their communication had taken a hit a long time ago, and that they hadn’t bonded over anything in a while.

When a man’s phone is uncharacteristically always in his hands, he might be doing what he’s not supposed to be doing there. 

Especially if he is always on it, chatting, smiling, and laughing at something someone is texting him.

You may think he is talking to a friend, but it may be someone else.

This is especially true if he begins to make long calls at odd hours or his eyes seem glued to his screen while he is conversing with you.

He may say he is just multitasking, but if his chat is so important that he can’t pay full attention to you, there is something amiss.

He may just be communicating with the woman he is attracted to.

 

3. His appearance has had a sudden, unexplained upgrade

 

I want to be careful here because I don’t want to make you suspicious of every husband who buys a new shirt.

But then, you’ve been married for how many years?  And in all that time, getting him to care about what he wore was a whole negotiation.

He’ll say, “This is fine.”

“Nobody is looking at me.” 

And from nowhere, he’s wearing a new cologne and buying new clothes.

He’s having his haircut without being reminded.

I love my husband because he takes care of his body without me having to nag. 

He bathes twice a day when it’s hot, applies deodorants, and shaves wherever needs to be shaved, and sometimes, he smells so good that I can’t resist him. 😂

You might be thinking this isn’t a big deal until you hear what some women are going through at the hands of husbands who don’t take their personal hygiene seriously. 

I’m saying this to show you that we love men who look good. 

But if your man isn’t looking good for you, it’s a problem. 

A man who is reinvesting in himself for his marriage brings that energy home.

He dresses up for date night and wants you to notice because he cares about impressing you. 

If that’s not the case, then there’s someone else he wants to impress. 

 

4. Physical intimacy is somehow different

 

You know that scene in movies where a man is in love with another woman but still sleeping with his wife, and the wife just knows something is wrong, but she can’t explain it?

That’s not just Hollywood fiction. That’s real life.

See, sex in marriage is not just physical; it’s emotional. Two people who are present with each other, and when one person’s mind has wandered somewhere else, you feel it.

Even if you can’t prove it.

Now it goes one of two ways.

Sometimes, he is less interested in being physically intimate with you because he’d rather be intimate with his object of affection.

So, he might not initiate as usual, and when you make a move, and he gives in, you’d regret ever bothering in the first place. 

You know what they call pity sex?

That’s what you’re getting because he’s not there. He’s just doing you a favor. 

The second way it goes is the one that confuses women the most.

He suddenly wants more.

Like more than usual, more urgently, and almost desperately and aggressively.

Well, it’s because he’s thinking about her while he’s with you.

I know. That’s a hard sentence to read, and it’s why some women feel lonelier after intimacy than before it.

Because you know his performance has nothing to do with impressing you.

 

5. He’s picking fights, and you can’t figure out why

 

If you didn’t marry a monster, a husband who is falling in love with another woman will feel guilty.

And one of the ways he manages that guilt is by making you the problem.

It’s just unfair to have feelings for another woman when your wife is being good to you.

When she’s loving and being the best thing since coffee (I love coffee!), the guilt has nowhere to hide.

It just sits there, heavy and uncomfortable, reminding him of exactly what he’s doing.

So what does our guy do?

He finds reasons to be annoyed with you, escalating small things into big things so that every argument ends with him being the wounded party and you apologizing for something you’re not even sure you did.

And now the guilt has somewhere to go, because in his head, you’re not that great either.

You nag, and you’re difficult.

See? He has reasons now.

 

6. Your intuition

I always say women are more intuitive than men, but what I really mean is that we feel it faster and then immediately start talking ourselves out of it.

We gaslight ourselves before our husbands even get the chance.

We make excuses for the behavior, and then six months later find out we were right all along and feel foolish for doubting ourselves.

Stop doing that.

You know your husband. You know his normal.

You don’t have to blow up your marriage over this, but don’t pretend things are fine. 

 

One sign in isolation is not a verdict.

Men, like women, have bad seasons.

Stress, depression, work pressure, personal issues, even health issues, all of these can wear the face of emotional withdrawal without being what you fear.

So, context and pattern matter.

But if you’ve been reading this post nodding at sign after sign, please don’t close this tab and go back to pretending.

Have the conversation because the worst outcome is not finding out the truth, and hoping it will resolve itself.

It won’t resolve itself.

But it might resolve itself if you say something.

Say something, sis. 

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