Love is meant to be a sanctuary.
Ideally, it is meant to make you feel safe.
But what happens when the person you are falling for is not who they claim to be?
Not everyone who professes love has genuine intentions.
Many people lie about loving someone else for reasons best known to them.
This is why I always emphasize that love is an action word.
You can’t just claim to love someone else and not exhibit this love with your actions.
If you want to know if someone loves you, take a critical look at their actions over time.
Actions never lie.
A love con artist is a master manipulator who preys on emotions, exploits trusts, and leaves a trail of broken hearts behind.
They are usually highly skilled at deceit, and their subtle lies may make it difficult to discover the truth until it is too late.
However, if you could just take your attention off their words and focus more on their actions, you just may be able to spot the warning signs before you get in too deep.
Here are some key indicators of a love con artist you should look for.
8 Ways To Spot A Love Con Artist Before It’s Too Late
1. They are just too good to be true
You know that feeling you get when you meet a new person and they seem to tick all your boxes?
The excitement and then the relief that you have finally found your soulmate.
They just seem so perfect.
They can anticipate your needs even without you speaking: they are just too perfect.
You don’t even have conflicts because it feels like nothing offends them—even when you know you have done something offensive, everything’s always calm.
I hate to be a party pooper, but no one can be this perfect if they are being genuine.
I am not saying you should destroy something good because you are being paranoid.
There are times that even the most perfect partner would get angry.
Even in the happiest relationships, there are conflicts.
So, the absence of this should be a warning sign.
Love con artists often create an idealized version of themselves to lure you in.
They’ll mirror your desires and values, making you feel like you’ve found your soulmate.
So, if you feel like your partner is being too good to be true, you need to ask yourself an important question…
“Does this person feel genuine, or does it feel like they are pretending to be what I want to see and telling me exactly what I want to hear?”
The truth is that in this situation, time usually reveals hidden things.
So, be alert and sensitive even while you are in that relationship.
2. The relationship is fast-paced
Many ladies hate it when guys ask them to take things slowly.
This is because it feels like it is a sign that he plans to waste their time.
However, the truth is that a fast-paced relationship could be a sign of a love con artist at work.
Love con artists are experts at fast-tracking relationships.
They’ll sweep you off your feet with grand gestures, intense declarations of love, and a whirlwind of emotions.
The first time I observed this, it happened to me.
I had just met this lady that I really liked, and I was gradually working up the courage to ask her out when this guy came out of nowhere and swept her off her feet.
It was shocking for me.
One day, I was the most important male friend in her life and she was introducing this guy to me as a coursemate, and the next, they were dating each other.
Well, the relationship ended almost as soon as it had started.
The guy thought she had money, but the moment she refused his first attempt to ask her for money, he got angry and abandoned the relationship.
It didn’t even last more than a few weeks.
The truth is that the whirlwind romance can feel exhilarating but it’s often a tactic to bypass your natural defenses and create a false sense of intimacy.
If a person seems to be moving too fast and trying to lock you down in a romantic relationship before you get to know them, it may be a sign that you need to proceed with caution.
Don’t let anyone coerce you into a relationship!
3. They tell inconsistent stories
Just like all con artists, love con artists are talented liars.
Lying is like second nature to them.
As a child, I knew kids who could concoct plausible lies on the spot.
They didn’t need to think too long to create a durable lie.
Many of these kids grew into adults and are now Internet fraudsters who use love scams as one of their tools of deception.
If these people are such good liars, how do you nail them?
Even the best liars slip up, and this is one way to spot a love con artist.
Pay attention to inconsistencies and vagueness in their stories.
Love con artists usually fabricate details about their past, career, or personal life.
If their stories usually change or lack specific details, it is a sign that they are lying about something.
If they also avoid answering direct questions, it could be a sign that they are being really economical with the truth.
When people lie in relationships, it is usually a terrible sign.
So, when you start picking up so many inconsistencies in your partner’s words, you need to be really careful.
In fact, I think deceit in relationships should be a deal breaker.
4. They flatter excessively
Flattery is a useful tool in the hands of a love con artist.
Now, don’t get me wrong.
Flattery and charm are normal in romantic relationships.
Of course, when someone loves you, they will talk about you in flattery terms.
This is not just because they want you to feel flattered– it is actually because they view you in that light.
So, a guy might refer to his girlfriend as “the most beautiful woman in the world,” and the truth is he means it.
To him, she is absolutely the best creation of God.
Compliments and praise are nice, but when they are excessive, they could be a sign that you are just being buttered up.
I am a last child, but I didn’t get to play the tricks most lastborns played.
Most lastborns have this unique way of asking their elder siblings for money.
Whenever they start acting all nice and polite, it is usually a sign that they are trying to butter their siblings up when they make their requests.
If, like typical lastborns, you feel that your partner’s flattery and compliments serve a hidden agenda, it is a sign that something may be wrong.
If every time your partner is nice and charming with you is always a prelude to making demands of you, it could be a sign that you are with a love con artist.
Ideally, your partner can compliment you and be charming with you, but it shouldn’t come with strings attached.
5. They are always making financial requests
I know, I know!
In relationships, partners support each other, and that support could be emotional, physical, or financial.
I get it.
In fact, I think there is no love without giving.
How can you claim to love someone if you are not available to support them?
So, helping out your partner financially is not the problem.
The problem is when it feels like the help is just one-sided.
This is one way of spotting a love con artist.
One thing is sure: a love con artist is not there to weather storms with you.
A love con artist wants a relationship with you for their own benefit.
And money is one of the benefits they may get from the relationship.
Money is a central theme in love cons.
A major red flag is when your partner starts asking for money or shares financial problems early in the relationship.
They may ask for loans and share tales of financial struggles or personal issues to elicit sympathy.
It’s not like people don’t have issues, but when it seems like all they have are issues, it could be a sign that they are deliberately trying to gain your sympathy.
While it is natural to want to comfort someone going through pain, you need to be careful that you are falling into the hands of a love con artist.
You should be especially cautious if you realize that the only time your partner talks about their finances with you is to demand money.
They have never attempted to reciprocate and support you.
Instead, you feel so drained because you just keep giving without receiving.
That’s not love.
Just like respect, love is meant to be reciprocal.
Partners are meant to support each other.
Don’t settle for less just because you think you are in love.
6. They avoid personal questions
I have seen Internet fraudsters at work and I have always wondered how anyone falls for their scams.
I think the one thing they are good at is saying a lot without saying anything.
It’s an art that most con artists are versed in.
They have a unique way of deflecting personal questions without actually appearing to.
In fact, most of the time, they appear to have answered your questions.
The best way to spot this is to ask yourself if you really know person you have been talking to.
If you feel like you have more questions than answers as to who they are, even after long periods of interaction, it could be a sign that they don’t really want you to know them.
You may wonder why they feel that way,, but if this sign iscombined numerous financial requests and loans they never pay back, it could be a sign that you are someone’s mark already.
7. They lack accountability
Love con artists are masters of deflection.
When confronted with their behavior, they’ll twist the narrative, play the victim, or gaslight you into doubting your own perceptions.
I mean, what do you expect when you are dealing with someone whose second nature is deceit?
They rarely take responsibility for their actions and often blame others for their problems.
Even if they are not love con artists, this is a terrible attitude to have in relationships.
Such a relationship is a toxic one because you would usually find yourself apologizing for things you didn’t do.
So, you need to ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life apologizing for things you didn’t do.
If you don’t, you know what to do.
8. They try to isolate you from friends and family
One thing a love con artist thrives on is control.
They love to be in control because this guarantees that you will always be pliable to their manipulations.
Isolating you from a solid support system is a way of achieving this control.
Apart from the fact that it leaves you totally dependent on them, it separates you from those who can advise you when they notice you are going astray.
They may try to isolate you from your family and friends by discouraging you from spending time with them.
Some love con artists even go as far as causing conflicts to distance you from your support system.
If you realize that a person has gradually made you distant from your family and friends, you may need to consider their endgame, which may be to exploit you and leave you high and dry later.
So, ask yourself this question, “Am I being encouraged to maintain my relationships, or is this person trying to cut me off from others?”.
If the latter is true, you have a situation on your hands,, and you will be better off being being single than in that relationship.
Ultimately, your intuition is one of your most powerful tools.
If something feels off, even if you can’t put your finger on it, don’t ignore that feeling.
Love con artists rely on your desire to believe in fairy tales despite your instincts telling you otherwise.
If you’ve spotted some of these red flags, you need to take action.
We know you don’t want to act rashly without evidence, so you can start by slowing down the relationship and taking time to really get to know the person.
You may seek advice by talking to trusted friends or family members about your concerns.
Boundaries are also important, so be clear about your limits, especially when it comes to money and personal information.
You need to trust your instincts.
If something feels wrong, don’t ignore it.
Your safety and well-being come first.
If, the red flags keep piling up during the time you’re getting to know them, it’s better to end the relationship before you get too deep.
Love con artists are skilled at exploiting our deepest desires for connection and companionship.
But by staying aware, trusting your instincts, and taking things slow, you can protect yourself from their schemes.
If you’ve been hurt by a love con artist, you’re not alone.
Healing takes time, but old scars will be healed, and one day, perhaps you will be ready to open your heart to someone who deserves it because you deserve a love that’s real.