”I’m dating a man with kids and feeling left out. What do I do?”
It can be easy to feel left out when dating a man with kids.
Kids often come first, and it can be difficult to get the attention you need from your partner when they are juggling parenting responsibilities as well.
You love your man, but you might sometimes feel jealous of the attention he gives to his children, and you don’t want to cause any friction between him and his kids.
What do you do?
How To Deal With Dating a Man With Kids And Feeling Left Out
1. Why do you feel left out?
Before you can address the issue, it’s important to ask yourself why you feel that way.
Do you feel he’s always spending more time with his kids than with you?
Do you feel like you’re never included in family activities?
Or do you feel like his kids always take precedence over your relationship?
Once you’ve pinpointed the source of your feelings, you can start working on addressing them.
2. Don’t be hostile towards his children
If you’re frustrated because your boyfriend spends too much time with his kids instead of spending time with you, try not to take it out on the children.
It’s the worst thing you can ever do in this situation.
They didn’t ask for this situation any more than you did, so don’t make them feel like they are intruding on your relationship by being there (even though they are).
It’s not their fault you feel left out, although your feeling is valid.
And if you hope to become their stepmom one day, you can’t afford to mistreat them.
It won’t argur well for you.
3. Talk to your partner
Dating a man with kids can be a great experience—if both of you are on the same page about it.
If you’re feeling left out in your relationship because your boyfriend is spending more time with his children than he is with you, it’s time to talk about how you feel.
If you don’t talk to him about how you feel, nothing will change.
So it’s important to be honest with him and tell him what you feel so that he can understand your perspective.
He may not be aware of how you are feeling and may not realize that his children are taking up all of his time.
If you talk to your partner, he will be able to make more time for you and include you in his life if he values your relationship and wants to be with you.
4. Find ways to be involved
By finding ways to be involved in your partner’s children’s lives, you’ll be able to feel more connected and involved.
You can offer to help with school activities, take them on fun outings or join in family gatherings.
This will allow you to spend time with your partner and his kids and make them feel like they are a part of your relationship.
You can also ask him what it’s like being around his kids and what he expects of you when they’re around.
Let him know you’re excited to be part of his family but need support.
He can suggest the best ways you can feel included.
He knows his kids best and how best you can connect with them.
5. Take a step back and look at the big picture
Your partner has been taking care of these kids for years before you came along.
He loves them, and they love him—there’s no way he’d be able to give them up just because he met someone new.
That’s not how love works!
So it’s important to take a step back and remember that your relationship won’t always be this way.
As the kids get older, they’ll need less and less of their parent’s attention.
And when that time comes, you and your partner will have more time to focus on each other.
In the meantime, it’s important to be supportive of your partner and his children, as they are all crucial parts of his life.
6. Be patient
Kids take up a lot of time, especially when they are young.
It can be challenging for a guy to find time for himself, let alone date someone else.
So be patient if he misses plans or cancels last minute because his kid is sick or needs him.
He’s not trying to hurt you; he has priorities other than hanging out with you all night.
If you’re feeling left out, remember that your boyfriend is still trying to figure out how to balance the two of you with his kids.
He wants to make sure that both relationships are thriving, but he also wants to ensure that everyone in his life feels loved and cared for.
He’s probably doing the best he can—and so are you.
7. Seek support
It’s normal to feel jealous or lonely when dating someone with kids.
But it doesn’t have to ruin your relationship.
If you find yourself struggling to cope, don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
Talking to a professional can help you gain insight into why you’re feeling this way and how to manage it better so that it doesn’t ruin your relationship with your partner.
8. Be realistic about your situation
Dating a single father is not always easy and requires a lot of patience and understanding.
Remember that his children come first, no matter what.
Also, what if he doesn’t want any more kids?
Are you ready to deal with his baby mama with or without drama?
Be realistic about what you can handle.
If the answer is yes, then you can work together as a team and make sure that his kids are taken care of while still maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you if you can handle the situation or not.
Think about it, talk to your partner, and be honest with yourself.
You can have a happy and healthy relationship with someone with children; it just takes patience and understanding.