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How Friends Destroy Marriages: 11 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 11 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

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Have you ever wondered if friends can destroy marriages and how? 

Friendship is a beautiful thing because friends make the world go round.

Humans are relational and social in nature, created to be interdependent and not independent.

However, friendships can have grave disadvantages at times.

One of the bad sides of friendship is how friends destroy marriages.

You may wonder, “How do friends destroy marriages?”

Below are common ways friends destroy marriages.

How Do Friends Destroy Marriages?

1. They Intrude In Your Marriage 

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

One of the common ways friends destroy marriages is by intruding.

Some friends find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that your priorities have changed.

They feel comfortable breaking into matters relating to your marriage like they did other matters when you were single.

This can spell doom for your marriage because the lack of limits and boundaries can make them unnecessarily say things they should not say and involve themselves in your marriage matters. 

You may find this uncomfortable; your partner might even if you do not. 

2. They Engage In Gossip 

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

One common way that friends destroy people’s marriages is through gossip.

Gossip ruins things many times, and marriages are not left out.

This can happen in different ways;

Friends gossiping about their married friend’s marriage or spouse, saying unpleasant things to their friend about their partner and gossiping with in-laws and loved ones about the marriage.

However, and in whatever way it happens, small talk about people flying around usually does not end well, as it can break hearts, relationships, and marriages.

3. They Give Wrong Advice

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

Another way friends destroy marriages is through bad counsel.

Some friends make it their duty to advise their married friends on how to run their marriages.

Usually, because the adviser is not married, they lack the knowledge and experience needed to give sound and wise advice.

They may end up giving foolish advice, which leads the married friend astray and makes them sabotage their marriage.

This is not to say that an unmarried friend can never have good advice to offer.

Sometimes, they do.

But other times, they do not. 

4. They Tell Your Partner Your Dirty Secrets and Past

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

The most common and unpleasant way friends destroy marriages is by telling your dirty past and secrets to your partner.

Your friend likely knows most of your secrets and things your spouse does not know.

You may have kept details from your spouse because they were unnecessary or too dirty and should have been left in the past.

Due to jealousy or anger, some friends dig out such details and convey them to their friend’s partner.

These details may be small, negligible, or significant and disastrous.

Information like this can strain the couple’s relationship or even wreck their marriage completely. 

The friend may have done it due to jealousy, to snatch the partner, or innocently (not meaning any harm), which is very unlikely. 

Usually, it is done with malicious intent. 

5. They Distract You From Your Partner

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

Failing to understand that seasons have changed and you are no longer single and free can lead you to make the mistake of letting your friends distract you from your partner and marriage.

Some friends find it difficult to understand that their friend is now married and must put their partner before everyone else.

They intentionally or unintentionally consume their friends’ time, distracting them from their partner.

Some married people spend time clubbing, partying, or hanging out with their friends at the expense of the quality time that should be spent with their spouse and on their marriage.

This may look subtle initially, but eventually, it becomes an issue and can destroy marriages.

6. They Try To Snatch Your Partner

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

It is no longer news that some friends try to get down with their friend’s partner.

What’s worse? Some try to “snatch” the partner and make them theirs.

Keeping the wrong friends around, especially with an undisciplined and trustworthy partner, can lead to your friend sleeping with or snatching your partner.

This is another common way friends destroy marriages.

7. They Can Influence You

Friendships impact individuals immensely because there is usually an exchange of values, ideologies, thoughts, and experiences.

While this is good, it can also be bad as well.

Having wrong friends can influence you negatively and cause ripple effects on your marriage.

For instance, being friends with single ladies who are bitter at men due to various catastrophic relationships they have had can be detrimental to your marriage.

Every conversation with them may subconsciously sow seeds of doubt and suspicion in your heart towards your husband.

You have heard your friends repeat it while sharing their tales of woes that “all men are scum.”

Their ideology can affect yours and make you act unreasonably towards your husbands; the same also applies to men.

Their friend’s ideologies can spell doom for the future of their relationships.

This can destroy the foundation of love and trust your marriage is built on.

8. Some Friends Lack Understanding

If you are friends with people who are lacking in understanding, it can affect your actions, too.

There are seasons in marriage, and the season when a couple begins to welcome their babies and build their family is usually intense.

Even though they need solid support systems now, wrong friends might be the demise of the good thing they have going.

Foolish friends might mount pressure on the woman instead of being pillars of support to her in that season.

Some might even stir her attention away from her family through manipulation.

It is so dicey, but one thing is clear: Friendships wield a lot of influence in people’s lives, so care should be taken.

9. They Can Cause Variance With Your Spouse

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

This is especially true in cases where the husband or wife doesn’t like the friends their partner rolls with.

It can lead to quarrels and separation if care is not taken.

10. They lack boundaries

Some friends are too zealous, and in their zeal, they unknowingly make decisions that can cause a crack in their friend’s marriage.

For instance, friends who, without permission, butt into a couple’s disagreements, take sides and try to assert.

It may look heroic, but marriage is a union of two people, and allowing a third party can destroy the union.

Friends need to know where to draw the line.

11. They Can Influence Your Children Negatively

Some friends misuse the privilege of access and wreck havoc on the minds of their friend’s children.

Some children are exposed too early to sex because their parent’s friends molested them.

Or they left their phones around carelessly, and the child stumbled on pornographic content.

Some of these negative influences can come through the children of the said friend.

Evil communication corrupts good manners, remember?

If your friend’s children are unruly, their closeness to your children can affect their good behavior, and that is a ticking time bomb.


FAQs On Friendships and Marriage

How Friends Destroy Marriages: 10 Careless Ways Friends Can Ruin Your Home

Do I Quit My Friendships When I Get Married? 

Friendships do not have to end when one member gets married.

However, many people decide to create boundaries due to the increasingly sad experiences that people have with friends after marriage.

Or even end their connection with their friends immediately after they get married to prevent them from destroying their marriage.

Do All Friends Destroy Marriages?

Of course, not all friends destroy marriages, and not all friendships pose a threat to your marriage.

However, it is still important to understand that it can happen.

This will help you create proper boundaries and take measures to ensure that it is not likely to happen to you.

The aim is not to make you overly suspicious and paranoid but to make you and your partner careful and wise.

Should My Friends Become My Partner’s Friends?

Your friends do not have to become your partner’s friends when you are married automatically. 

Some of your friends are mature and reasonable enough to become mutual friends of you and your partner, but others are not. 

To stay on the side of caution, let your friends remain your friends, particularly if you do not trust your friends. 

Should My Friends Have My Partner’s Phone Number?

There is nothing wrong with your husband having your friend’s number and vice versa. 

There may be emergencies or a need for it sometimes, but there may be no need if your husband or your friends are not trustworthy. 

Can My Friend Unknowingly Destroy My Marriage? 

Usually, friends who destroy marriages do it intentionally with malicious intentions and to cause harm. 

However, it is possible for your friend to unintentionally and unknowingly destroy your marriage. 

Some of their destructive actions may be due to ignorance. 


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