There is nothing more demeaning and disrespectful than being in a space where everyone is taken seriously except you.
You get shushed or ignored when you try to contribute to the conversation, and your ideas are dismissed without a second thought.
Sometimes, you’d prefer even to be invisible than to have the constant reminder of your own insignificance.
This feeling is something that many people have experienced in various settings.
It’s a form of oppression and discrimination that often goes unnoticed or ignored, but its effects can be deeply damaging.
I remember working as a judicial assistant to a very senior judge who was like this.
He never took me seriously because it was assumed that, as a young woman, I couldn’t possibly have anything valuable to contribute.
I was constantly talked over and dismissed, even when I had valid points or insights to share.
It made me doubt my own capabilities and worth, and it took a toll on my self-esteem.
Unfortunately, this type of dismissive behavior is not limited to just the workplace.
It can happen in social settings, classrooms, and even within families.
Now, this post is not about when you have things to say or do and you are not being heard or valued.
It is about the things you do unintentionally that may be causing this downplay of your relevance and contribution.
Sometimes, doing a life audit might help you put these things in check, and it doesn’t go out of hand before you nip it in the bud.
Here are five things you need to stop doing if you want people to truly take you seriously.
If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Stop Doing These 5 Things.
1. Stop Talking More Than You Listen
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who keeps interrupting you, always turns the talk back to their own stories, or nods absentmindedly while scrolling through their phone?
Now, take a moment and ask yourself if you have ever done the same without realizing it.
I used to do this a lot, and my husband had to call my attention to it when he saw it was getting out of hand.
Ever since he mentioned it, I have been working consciously to stop it.
It can leave you walking away feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant as if what you said didn’t matter.
It takes effort to listen attentively, but it shows that you value the other person’s thoughts and opinions.
Many people believe that being taken seriously means having all the answers, making their voices heard, or dominating the conversation.
That’s not the truth in its entirety.
The most respected individuals aren’t the ones who talk the loudest or the most.
They’re the ones who listen the best.
True leaders and great communicators know how to make others feel understood and appreciated.
When you truly listen, you aren’t just hearing words; you’re showing people that they matter, and when people feel valued, they naturally value you in return.
Great listening isn’t just polite; it’s a skill that builds stronger relationships, earns respect, and creates genuine connections.
Instead of rushing to respond, take a moment to reflect on what was said.
This shows that you’re giving their words real thought.
Listen to understand, not just to reply.
Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
Focus on the meaning behind their words and what they’re truly trying to communicate.
Ask follow-up questions if there is a need for it because this deepens the conversation and shows that you’re engaged.
It also helps you learn more and makes the interaction more meaningful for both parties.
A person who listens with intention is someone people want to talk to.
And when you finally do speak?
Your words will carry weight.
2. Stop Saying Yes To Things You Can’t Deliver
I have been in situations where I overpromised, and delivering was so difficult.
This majorly stems from the place of overestimating your abilities or not wanting to disappoint.
You agree to something at the moment, thinking, I’ll make it work somehow, only to realize later that you’re in over your head.
Maybe you told a client you’d meet a deadline you knew was impossible.
Maybe you promised a friend you’d help with something, only to ghost them when the time came.
Maybe you told yourself you’d commit to a new habit but never followed through.
Each time you overpromise and underdeliver, you chip away at your credibility.
It’s not just about missing deadlines or backing out—it’s about trust.
When people stop believing your words, they stop respecting your commitments.
Let people know what you can deliver, and then stick to it.
It’s better to underpromise and overdeliver than the other way around.
Be realistic about your abilities and limitations, and don’t be afraid to say no when necessary.
In the long run, being reliable will earn you more respect and trust than trying to please everyone momentarily.
“I’d love to help, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now.”
“I’m unable to take on any additional tasks at the moment, but I can assist you with this project next week.”
“I can’t meet that deadline, but I can deliver by next week.”
“I want to commit to this, but I need to be realistic about my time.”
People don’t expect perfection—they expect reliability.
When you consistently follow through on what you say, people won’t just take you seriously. They’ll trust you.
3. Stop Trying Too Hard To Be Liked
Have you ever found yourself changing your opinion just to fit in, even when you knew deep down it didn’t align with your true beliefs?
Have you ever agreed to something you didn’t truly believe in simply because you were afraid of upsetting someone or causing conflict?
Or perhaps you’ve smiled through discomfort, suppressing how you really felt to avoid tension and keep the peace in a situation?
The truth is that it never really works in the end.
You can’t be for everyone, and you won’t be for everyone.
The people who truly matter will respect you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.
Know this, and know peace.
Seeking approval is natural, but when you prioritize being liked over being respected, you lose both.
Trying too hard to be liked by everyone will only lead to disappointment and frustration.
Instead, focus on being true to yourself and your values.
People will respect you more for standing up for what you believe in and not just going along with the crowd.
Respect comes from standing firm in your values—even when uncomfortable.
It comes from being authentic, even when it means some people might disagree with you.
Ask yourself:
Do I say yes to things I don’t believe in just to avoid conflict?
Do I change my opinions to fit in with a certain group?
Do I sacrifice my values for the sake of being liked?
Am I afraid to share my real thoughts because I don’t want to upset others?
Do I shape-shift depending on who I’m with?
If your answer is yes, then it’s time to shift your focus.
Start focusing on building self-respect and living according to your own principles.
You can’t constantly ask for permission to live your life indirectly from people or live in a cage of being liked by everyone.
Like I said, you don’t have to be liked by everyone.
In fact, it’s impossible.
So, let go of the need for constant validation and embrace who you are.
4. Stop Making Excuses Instead Of Taking Responsibility
If there was something I learned from my ex-boss, whom I mentioned in the introduction, it’s that taking responsibility not only shows integrity but also allows for growth and learning from our mistakes.
We’ve all had moments when we mess up.
The question is, do you own it, or do you shift the blame?
If there is something I hate more than excuses, it’s people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
It shows a lack of maturity and accountability.
Making excuses doesn’t solve anything.
When you’re late to the office, you blame traffic for being late.
When your team flops at delivering a project you head, you blame them for the failure.
When you miss out on opportunities you never prepared for, you’ll remember karma and bad luck as the chief causes.
It is very easy to find an excuse for everything, but over time, you will become relegated because it will seem like there is a story for every step of the way.
Think about the people you respect the most—are they the ones who constantly blame others or the ones who take accountability and fix things?
The people in my life call me Madam Fixer for a reason and that is because before I give up on something, it means I have exhausted the available options.
Owning your mistakes doesn’t make you weak—it makes you trustworthy.
And trust is the foundation of respect.
5. Stop Letting The Fear Of Judgment Hold You Back
How many times have you held back an idea because you were afraid of what people would think?
How many times have you stayed quiet, even when you had something valuable to say?
The fear of judgment can be paralyzing.
Those moments of hesitation often feel safer, but they can also hold you back.
We often assume that people constantly watch and judge our every word and action.
But the reality is that most people are too busy thinking about themselves—their own thoughts, insecurities, and goals—to focus on your every move.
That fear of judgment is often exaggerated in our minds.
I remember one time when I was at a workshop and had an idea I wanted to share with the group, but as soon as I thought about speaking up, my mind filled with doubts.
I was just fresh out of law school, and I was in the midst of experienced professionals.
What if they thought my idea was silly or unimportant?
Would they think less of me?
What if I was ridiculed?
All the what-ifs clouded my head, and I hesitated to speak up.
These thoughts raced through my mind, and I ended up staying quiet, even though the idea was still burning in my mind.
It wasn’t until someone else shared a similar idea that I realized how valuable my contribution could have been.
From then on, I made a conscious effort to speak up and share my ideas, even if it meant facing potential judgment from others.
But what if instead of letting fear hold us back, we embraced vulnerability?
What if we acknowledged that sharing our ideas or thoughts can lead to growth and connection?
When we let go of the fear of judgment, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and experiences.
No one remembers the person who stayed silent.
They remember the one who spoke up.
No one respects the person who played it safe.
They respect the one who took the risk.
No one admires the person who hid in the shadows.
They admire the one who showed up.
If you want to be taken seriously, start showing up for yourself.
The world will follow.
Respect isn’t demanded—it’s earned. And it starts with how you show up in the world.
The way you carry yourself today determines how people will perceive you tomorrow.
So the real question is: Which of these habits do you need to let go of?