It’s a pleasure to have Adenike Anderson on Supermum today. Enjoy her interview:
What is your three favourite motherhood quotes?
My three favourite motherhood quotes:
1. ”Pikin wey talk say him mama no go sleep, himself no go sleep” – from my Mother ?
2. ”Because I said so” – me to Daniel every time I ask him to do something.
3. (Need to come back to you on a 3rd one. Mind has gone blank)
What do you do and how long have you been a mum?
I work as a Compliance Investigator in a Tax Office and I have been a Mum for 5 years
How many cuties do you have?
What did you like about being pregnant?
The kicks. Certain things I did made Daniel more active in my tummy and so it was like we were communicating with each other. Just the two of us.
What did you hate about being pregnant?
I was sick for the first 3 months. I hated it. The constant nausea and vomiting made me a shadow of myself.
What do you wish you had known before you got pregnant?
An expectation of how tough the first trimester can be. It would have helped me deal with it better.
What items did you buy as a new mum that you didn’t end up using?
Too much baby clothes that he never used and quickly outgrew
How do you bond with your boy?
By talking and playing with him. No questions are off limit and I forget myself and go back to being a kid when we start playing which also helps our communication.
What’s your typical day like as a mum?
Wake up. Get him breakfast. Get myself ready. Hubby gets him ready for school. I put him on the school bus and go to work. After work, I pick him up from after school club. Catch up with him on his day at school and check for any homework so we can work on them. Dinner. Play some games. Get ready for bed and we repeat the cycle all over again the next day.
What are your panic moments as a mum?
Phone call from school will be number 1. A sharp cry from him when I can’t see him will be number 2.
What did you wish you known before becoming a mum?
That it takes over your life completely.
What do you like about being a mum?
The unconditional love
Watching him grow and knowing I had something to do with it
Just watching him grow?
Some people are of the opinion that marriage and motherhood makes it difficult for women to achieve their dreams. What do you think?
Not so much marriage but definitely motherhood. One second you are preparing for a presentation or an interview and the next thing your child takes ill and you are completely distracted. The presentation/interview is not as important anymore.
There is also the impact being away on maternity leave can have on your career. It can be difficult but a hands-on partner makes it a lot easier and your dreams more attainable.
What makes you feel guilty as a mum?
When I send my son to school and then get a call that he is sick or leave him with someone and come back to find him ill. As a working Mum, I feel guilty when my work life clashes with my family life.
Do you spare the rod for your kids?
I do. Daniel is very sensitive so words have a lot more effect on him. I have only hit him once on his palm and he challenged me on it.
“Mummy but you said hitting was bad”.
He was more hurt by the fact that I was doing what I told him was bad than anything else. My Dad used the same approach with us growing up. I never wanted to disappoint him. My Mum always used the whip. I feared her for a long time and fear is not something I want my son to feel towards me.
What are the challenges you experience as a mum and how do you manage them?
Knowing that there is no manual and I am raising a child in an environment that refuses to enforce boundaries. I manage this by communicating with my son and by challenging him when he does something wrong. We talk through the process so he knows why it is wrong and why he should not do it again.
How do you juggle motherhood, your career, your social life, and spiritual life?
By having a supportive and loving husband???. Because he is there, I can go out with my girlfriends. Travel on a work trip. Attend a Church event. All these without worrying about our son because I know he is in capable hands.
How has motherhood influenced your marriage?
It has forced us to grow. To be more patient with each other and it has drawn us a lot closer.
What has motherhood changed about you?
Aside from taking me from a size 10 to 14???, it has made me more confident in myself. I have a little one who looks up to me and who is learning from me and so I cannot afford to doubt myself or hide away. If I want him to grow up to be a confident person, then I need to show him what that looks like.
Please, give three pieces of advice to mothers.
1. You are doing great!! Well done!! (It is not an advice but mothers need to know this)
2. Make time for yourself. You need to make sure you are taking care of you too.
3. You will make mistakes. We all will. It does not make you a bad mother, it simply makes you human. Do not beat yourself up about it!!
Describe motherhood in one word.
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