While some men don’t care or consider what their women wear, others do.
Not only do they care what she wears, but some want to influence it when they can.
There’s nothing wrong with your husband wanting to have a say in your choice of clothing, just like you have the right to contribute to his too.
But it should not get to a point where your husband wants to control what you wear.
A healthy marriage is a union built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
There are various reasons why a husband may want to influence what his wife wears.
We will look into those reasons, then talk about constructive ways to handle the situation.
Why Your Husband Wants To influence What You Wear?: 5 Reasons
1. Fashion sense
People have different perceptions of fashion and style.
Fashion is sometimes unique to individuals, so we find different things attractive.
A man may want to influence his wife’s clothing options and decisions if his fashion style differs from hers.
This does not necessarily mean that he has a superior or better fashion sense (although he may do).
But it simply implies that his idea of style and his wife’s are divergent.
If you consistently wear fashion pieces that your husband does not find attractive, you may find him constantly trying to control or sway your clothing choices.
If this is the case, you may have to look deeper, beyond your husband’s actions, and see his intentions.
A man in a case like this may not seek to be controlling per se.
He just wants you to welcome his ideas.
2. Religious/cultural reasons
Another reason your husband may want to influence or control what you wear is religious or cultural reasons.
Different dressing styles are peculiar to different cultures and religions.
Dressing is one of the reflections of a territory.
For many people, their dress reveals their beliefs and convictions.
A religious or cultural man may want his wife to dress in ways that reflect his beliefs.
His convictions guide his actions and decisions; he wants that to be seen in his wife’s lifestyle, including her dressing.
This is why couples must agree on fundamental issues like values, religious and cultural beliefs before marriage.
If you are on the same page, there wouldn’t be any need for coercion.
3. He wants excitement
Clothes allow us to portray ourselves from different angles and facets.
The kinds of clothes you wear can excite or bore your husband.
If your husband is getting bored of your dress sense, he may try to influence it.
He craves some form of excitement and flavor and wants to derive it from your appearance.
“You are addressed how you dress.”
If your husband thinks your dress style is misrepresenting your family and giving off an image different from what he wants to give off, he may try to influence what you wear.
He wants you to look a certain way to project an image to the public.
Depending on the context of your situation, this may not be a bad thing.
It may just be your husband inviting you to step up on your game in terms of style.
But it can also be bad in some cases because some men try to use their wives to make up for their self-esteem issues.
5. He’s a dictator
Some men see their role as husbands as a chance to become a tyrant.
They want to be in total control of everything their wife does.
This mindset may stem from cultural beliefs or just a negative orientation about marriage generally.
A man like this will try to control what his wife wears, but that’s not all.
He will try to influence every decision she wants to make because he doesn’t consider her worthy enough to make her own choices.
This is a toxic spouse, and such a trait can be detrimental to your self-respect.
Ways To Handle It
1. Understand his reason
The first method of approach, if your husband is trying to control what you wear, is analyzing the situation.
Try to understand why your husband is doing what he is doing.
You can do this by observing him and asking him questions.
This is a great place to start because it helps you know how to handle the situation in the future.
2. Try to reach a compromise
Marriage is about making compromises many times.
Having understood your husband’s reasons for doing what he is doing, you may want to consider welcoming some of his ideas.
If his reasons are positive and healthy, trying to upgrade your looks or bring excitement to your marriage, you may want to welcome some of his ideas.
He should not, under any condition, control what you wear.
But he can make suggestions and tell you what he thinks.
And you should welcome his ideas, consider them and even apply some, as long as you’re comfortable with them.
Even when he suggests clothes you wouldn’t ordinarily wear, you can appreciate his suggestions and consider them.
You can meet him halfway by welcoming some of his ideas.
The importance of open communication in situations like this can not be overemphasized.
I strongly suggest you calmly discuss the situation with your spouse.
Open up to him about how you feel about his attempts to strongly influence what you wear.
Talk about your feelings about what you wear and your desire for independence.
Try not to sound confrontational.
Focus on communicating your feelings and creating a safe place for your husband to express his views.
Even in a marriage, the importance of autonomy must not be ignored.
The clothes you wear go beyond just fashion pieces.
They are a form of self-expression, a way to portray your personality and style to the world.
Your husband must respect your personal choices, including your individuality in dressing.
You can agree by meeting halfway and deciding on what is acceptable and what isn’t.
That way, you can respect and address your husband’s concerns and maintain your style.
Seeking professional help may have to come in extreme cases of abuse and tyranny.
If your husband is being unreasonable or insistent on his ways, even on decisions that are yours to make, you may need to seek assistance.
Talking to a trusted family, friend, relationship counselor, or therapist will help.
Marriage is a union that thrives on mutual respect and friendship.
One partner should not seek to exert control over the other’s wardrobe decisions.