We all go into marriage with a lot of expectations.
We make assumptions that, if care is not taken, it could be highly detrimental to our relationship with our spouses.
If you are a married woman who tends to make a lot of assumptions in your marriage, here are some things you should never assume about your husband because all you will get is unfulfilled expectations which may sabotage your marital happiness.
7 Things A Married Woman Should Never Assume About Her Husband
That he will always be there for you
Assuming that since he is your husband, he would be there for you at all times and unfailingly may be unrealistic.
Yes, he is your significant other and is expected to be available for you in your times of need.
However, you should not forget that he is human.
He may fail to show up for you at times, perhaps due to reasons that are beyond his control.
In times like these, you need to console yourself with the many other times that he has been there for you.
As long as not being available is not a habit for him, you may need to learn to excuse his occasional absence.
Remind yourself always that just like you, he is not infallible.
This is why relying on one’s spouse as the sole support system is not a great idea.
Make connections outside of your marriage, and do not neglect your friends because of marriage.
You will be amazed at what many other people can do to aid you in times like these.
Your husband may be your favorite person, but he should not be your all in all.
You have to weigh the times he has been present against the times he has been absent.
If he has been doing a good job, you should avoid berating him for the few absences.
That you will change him
Dear married woman, this is one of the costly assumptions you could make about your husband.
If you still believe that you are capable of changing the things you didn’t appreciate about him before marriage, you may be setting yourself up for a series of letdowns.
Do people change?
However, the power to change lies in the hands of the person who needs to change.
Your husband must be willing to change.
If anything, the realization that you are bent on changing him may thicken his resolve to continue in his ways.
This is why I tell singles not to assume that they can change their potential partners in marriage.
Any flaws you observe in your partner, be sure they are flaws you can live with, even if they do not change.
In fact, in many cases, marriage does amplify flaws because they are now even more comfortable with you.
As a married woman, if he is not willing to change, there is little or nothing you can do.
At best, pray for him in your closet and hope for the best.
That he will always make you happy
Every now and then, even our loved ones hurt us, even though their intentions were good.
Before you got married, your siblings and parents must have hurt you, didn’t they?
Why should you now expect less of your husband?
After all, he is equally human.
In fact, I believe he is the one who is more likely to hurt you often since you are always in each other’s space.
Therefore, when there are such occurrences, it is not the time to begin to doubt his love for you or threaten to exit the marriage.
You should only question his love for you if you observe that he derives pleasure in your unhappiness and consciously seeks to break you.
That you are always the cause of his foul moods
You are not the cause of all your husband’s cranky moments.
He might just be having a bad day because of his job demands or because his favorite soccer team just lost a game.
If you think you probably are, you can simply ask him lovingly if you did something to hurt his feelings.
It’s that simple.
Sometimes, men may not be expressive about their struggles because they do not want to extend their worries to their wives.
In moments like these, do let him know that you are there for him and that you will be available when he is ready to share.
Do not make assumptions and make everything about you.
For heaven’s sake, it’s even easy to assume he is cheating on you if you continue being so presumptive.
That he will always tell you everything
This, I learned from experience.
I recall once picking a fight with my husband because he did not tell me about an urgent financial assistance he rendered to a neighbor.
I was quick to assume that he considered me not generous enough and, as such, would have likely raised an eyebrow at the move.
This I assumed because I am the more prudent one who oversees the judicious spending in the home.
He simply explained that it skipped his mind and that he would have eventually talked about it.
I wasn’t having any of it until I equally forgot to tell him about something before he found out by himself.
There and then, I picked my lesson.
There are many reasons why your husband may not share some things with you.
Reasons ranging from professional ethics, to oversight, to personality traits, and he may even be using his discretion to decide the best time to share.
If it is not urgently or directly having a bearing on your marriage, you may sometimes need to honor his silence.
This is why trust is an indispensable building block in marriage.
That he will read your mind
Your husband may accurately guess what is on your mind based on your body language or moods.
However, this is not a given.
Do not assume that the love your husband has for you automatically makes him your mind reader.
He is not Holy Spirit who searches and teaches all things.
Do not give him the constant burden of trying to figure out what is on your mind, except it is a playful guessing game.
Otherwise, he will find this exasperating.
7. That your husband will always want sex
It’s funny how people often say that because men love sex so much, they can never turn down a sexual advance from their wives.
This may not be the case for many men, so do not assume so for your husband.
He may refuse a sexual advance if he is sick or going through tough times.
Some life struggles may dwindle a man’s sexual urge.
This does not mean that he loves you less, he finds you unattractive, or he is getting some elsewhere.
He is probably just not in the mood, and that’s also okay for men.
They may have the tendency to not be in the mood less often than women, but this is not an impossibility.
You both simply have to communicate your current ordeal so that there is a mutual understanding.
It’s okay to be perceptive and smart.
If these assumptions cross your mind, do not entertain them as the truth except you have shreds of evidence that support your assumptions.
Assumptions are deadly in marriage.
Do not rob yourself of your marital bliss by crowding your mind with unproven thoughts about your husband.