I often commend people who found love at a distance and keep it going strong between them.
If a romantic relationship requires work, a long-distance romantic relationship requires double the work to keep things afloat.
Sometimes, these efforts pay off for both lovers.
Other times, some are not as lucky.
This means that not all long-distance relationships fail.
I know of a particular couple who believe and often say that their relationship could have failed if it weren’t long distance.
In essence, long-distance relationships do have their pros and cons.
How, then, do you tell if the downsides of LDR are already threatening the duration of your relationship?
9 Signs your long distance relationship is ending.
1. Your communication is poor
You know how they say ‘punctuality is the soul of a business’, yea?
Not like I necessarily agree with this though, but I digress.
I like to say communication is the soul of a relationship, long distance or not.
Adequate and effective communication is what prevents unrealistic or presumed expectations.
Communication is what fosters transparency in every relationship, more so, a long distance one.
Communication helps establish understanding in relationships.
When you no longer keep in touch as often as needed, it’s as though you are gradually severing the cord that binds you.
Communicate regularly but not excessively.
And asides the frequency , if your communication with each other is not open and honest, this is not a good sign for the relationship.
In no time, doubts begin to set in and the commitment towards each other dwindles.
2. You get into frequent misunderstandings
Understanding one another in a long distance relationship is not often a walk in the park.
It requires loads of patience.
If you have now become impatient with each other and find yourselves getting into one misunderstanding or the other too many times, this is a sign that something is off.
It could be the beginning of an end if the root cause remains unknown and unattended to.
Little issues may escalate into bigger ones because of impatience.
There are a number of things that could contribute to this: stress, financial constraints, busy schedule, and many others.
If you observe that your fights are getting incessant, it’s best to take a deep breath and express to each other your daily ordeals and how they are taking a toll on your tolerance.
Promise each other to fight the problem and not make each other the target of the fight.
Many long distance relationships have gone down for way lesser issues because they were poorly or ignorantly managed.
3. You do not trust each other
What is a long distance relationship with no trust?
It’s a no-brainer that a long distance relationship thrives on a very strong dose of trust.
You do not have the liberty of seeing each other at will, but you feel connected to each other because you trust each other.
The moment mistrust sets in, the relationship is as good as sitting on a keg of gunpowder.
This is why open and honest communication is not to be trivialised.
Trust is not automatic, it is earned.
Once the door of mistrust is flung open, a myriad of other relationship strainers begin to stroll in.
You know how lack of immunity makes a body system susceptible to all kinds of ailments?
That is what mistrust does to a relationship, a long-distance one, in this case.
4. You are not available for each other
Since you are inevitably physically unavailable for each other, for the relationship to thrive, you both need to do all in your power to be available for each other in other means, financially, emotionally, time-wise, etc.
When you are unavailable for each other, for reasons best known to you, the relationship cannot remain the same.
You should be able to count on each other to be supportive of each other’s endeavours as far as distance can permit.
You have to be there, even when you cannot be actually there.
5. You do not look forward to hearing from each other
The inception of the relationship was a period when you both could not do without hearing from each other.
You would run across the room and skip hurdles with a speed of light just to ensure the phone does not stop ringing before you reach it.
You would keep your Internet connection on always just so you can do your video calls always.
The calls were long and frequent.
The conversations were amusing and sweet.
However, these days, it appears the sparks are no longer travelling so far.
This might not portend something good for the relationship.
6. You do not know enough about each other
You have been dating for quite a while now, but the bond is not getting any stronger because you do not know enough about each other.
You do not know much about each other’s jobs, hobbies, family, religious inclinations, etc.
These are crucial details that should not be overlooked if the relationship is headed somewhere permanent.
You may not be hiding these truths from each other deliberately.
It could just mean that you are not cut out for a long-distance relationship and, as such, cannot communicate and interact effectively at a distance.
You would rather chat than make long phone calls.
The other partner does not like to chat, and so does not respond to chats as and when necessary.
He would rather talk over the phone.
There is an incompatibility here, which suggests that you may not be able to handle a long- distance relationship and it probably will not end well.
7. The cost is becoming overbearing
Long distance relationships are costly to maintain.
If neither or both of you get to a point where you can no longer sustain the financial implication of the relationship, then there is a threat to the success of the relationship.
Transport costs, internet connection subscriptions, airtime and many unforeseen expenses may become a lot to bear at some point and this will most likely affect how often or well you interact.
It may also lead to transfers of aggression.
What I am saying in essence, here, is that long distance relationship is not for the broke.
8. The efforts are one-sided
If the efforts to keep the interactions seamless lie on just one party, then there are chances that the relationship will not last for long.
It is only a matter of time before the partner making the efforts gets weary and frustrated.
When it comes to romantic relationships, I am always quick to say that it takes two to tango.
One person cannot be making all the efforts, while the other is laid back.
No, it does not work that way.
Moreso, for a long distance relationship.
9. Zero or insufficient plans for physical meetings
It is the hope of meeting one day that keeps the zeal intact in most long distance relationships.
However, if adequate plans are not being made towards the big day, it is not a hopeful situation.
Deferred hope makes the heart weary.
The uncertainty as to if and when you are going to meet each other physical in the nearest future could turn off the spark.
LAST THOUGHTS
To make a long distance relationship work, both hands must be on deck.
If meetings could be organised periodically, it will do the relationship a whole lot of good.
During such meet-ups, you both have to make the best of the time.
Be positive and as you have fun together, hold crucial conversations that are geared towards knowing each other better.
More importantly, be sure that you are willing to cope with the demands of long distance relationship before you get into one.