”Can you love someone after a month?”
We always hear of the possibility of being able to love someone after a month of meeting them, but is it possible?
It is evident in romantic movies where a couple meets for the very first time, click and the rest is a rollercoaster ride.
They spend the first one or two weeks going on dates at different spots, making out and talking to each other about the deepest secrets which no one else knows.
At this point, it goes from a zero to a hundred real quick when either of them leans in and whispers ‘I love you‘ to the other person.
In a solemn mood, the other person almost certainly replies, ‘I love you too’.
This scenario can be seen not only in movies but also in operas, books, and real-life situations.
In these scenes, it’s crystal clear that people are consumed with the joy, lust, and thrill of spending time with one another.
And although they decide that this translates to loving someone, it does not in the real sense.
Excitement, lust, thrill, and attraction all indeed give off an awesome vibe.
Being infatuated with someone feels very much like love.
Mistaking intense sexual attraction, affection, and excitement for love is quite easy.
However, love is a feeling that takes longer to develop.
Love doesn’t develop in a few weeks or even a few months.
Whatever develops that period cannot be referred to as deep, layered, and true love because you cannot say that you love someone you do not know.
And as you well know, it is not possible to see and know the intimate, deep, and different parts of someone else in a few months.
It takes varying situations and a lot of time spent together with someone to know them truly, and this doesn’t happen in just a few weeks or even a few months.
Real love does not come by until you’ve seen someone at their highs, lows, best and worst times.
While it’s quite easy to love the light of someone, real love comes in right after you’ve seen them at their worst and roughest times.
You need to see them on different occasions interacting with their family.
This is an important part of every relationship that takes time to find out.
Have you observed how they act when they’re under stress?
Do you know how they react whenever they are angry?
How do they handle challenges?
And definitely, how do they act when they’re upset?
Check out how they are when they are meeting your friends and loved ones.
Do they pay attention and put in effort?
Are they warm and engaging?
Do they show interest in what’s being discussed and take time to listen carefully to every bit of the conversation?
Their approach towards the people who are important to you has a lot to say about how they feel about you.
Well, this might not be entirely true as there are people you’ll meet and not even like or click.
I mean, we’re all humans and we can’t like everyone (when you’re obviously not cake).
But if someone loves you as they claim, they’re going to put in some effort to be cool, civil, and friendly with the important people in your life.
Of course, this is assuming the people you love are reasonable people.
Also, it is important that you observe and see how they interact with their colleagues at gatherings such as the office party.
How do they respond when a family member or friend comes to them for help?
Do you think that they can adapt to change and grow whenever both of you find yourselves in any type of problem while in a relationship?
This last question is very important because it must happen, as long as both of you are in a relationship.
How do they treat children and issues about the homefront generally?
Are they thoughtful and respectful?
Can they stand in the gap for you whenever your strength fails you?
Are you free to do whatever suits you in the relationship or are they the clingy type?
And it takes a lot of time to figure most of them out.
Categorically speaking, it will take a minimum of a year to get to know someone too well or well enough.
Even after a year, there are still tons of layers yet to be uncovered.
Although it feels that way, you can’t possibly love someone after just several weeks or even a few months.
The initial thrill and excitement of being with someone and not seeming to get enough of them is called the honeymoon stage.
It is not the relationship proper, but it is a vital part that leads to when the love blooms and blossoms.
There has been a lot of misconceptions that stemmed from movies, books, and TV shows to make us believe that love is an instantaneous occurrence.
You feel that knowing someone for a short period is enough to get you to fall in love with them.
Contrary to what you think, it is infatuation and not love.
You are yet to scratch the surface of discovering who they really are, which will take you a lot of months and even years to discover.
Love is a process that takes time to develop, and it’s not something that can be achieved in an instant.
Just like the saying goes, “anything is possible”.
Being exposed to a love interest for just about a month will result in something more of an infatuation, not love in its real sense.
Love is meant to grow over time and survive all forms of trial and error.
It’s totally okay if you start off your relationship from a place of infatuation because the feelings have already been established.
All you need to do is keep the love, admiration, and adoration strong whenever the going gets tough.
Infatuation is thrilling and so, is merely a step towards falling in love.
Love requires so much more and is beautiful when it blossoms fully.
I hope you get to experience love in all its beauty and purity.