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Why Men Lose Interest in a Relationship

Why Men Lose Interest in a Relationship

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They say men are adventurous and love the thrill of the chase.

Oh well, while some women can sustain a man’s interest in them for as long as they want, some women act in ways that make a man want to pull away from them.

This isn’t to say that men don’t have minds of their own and can’t decide to become disinterested in a relationship for whatever reasons.

However, you’ll know that in this case, their decision has nothing to do with your actions.

But what are those acts of yours that can make him lose interest in being with you?

Below are 6 things that can make a man lose interest in a relationship:

6 Things that Make a Man Lose Interest

1. Clinginess

Clinginess can lead to weariness.

If you’re too clingy, you can wear a man out.

When you’re too “all over” him, so much so that you almost cannot be by yourself or do things without him beside you, you’re being too clingy.

You want him to call you every minute, ask if you’re okay every second, you want to see him every day of the week, and become the source of his worry and concern.

If you always want him to yourself all the time, he will feel choked.

While it’s good to fuss over your man or want him to fuss over you; while it’s okay to crave his attention, overdoing it could be annoying.

”You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.”- Toni Morrison

Read>> 45 Motivational Quotes by Toni Morrison

Even as a woman, I can’t stand a clingy man. And I’ve heard a lot of women say the same.

An average woman doesn’t value a man who is all over her and acts like he loves her for a living.

Some men get it all wrong with the ‘women love attention’ piece of advice.

Yes, we love attention but not just that, we love the right amount of attention.

A man, and even a woman who knows how to give the right amount of attention is so attractive and romantic!

Nothing screams desperation like neediness and this is so unattractive.

I know it’s easy to fall into clinginess when you’re so in love with someone.

You want to hear their voice every time, you want to know so much about them in a little time, you feel like they are the meaning of your life and your whole life revolves around them.

While this is great, moderation is key. Otherwise, you’ll just ruin everything.

Have you observed that you’re the clingy type or have you been told you’re clingy by friends, your partner or exes? 

Truth is, some people don’t like that they’re clingy.

What then can you do if you’re acting too needy?

Tips to Stop Being Clingy 

1. Admit you have a problem and don’t give excuses or live in denial. 

As humans, we hate to face our harsh truths, so we’d rather deny them and give excuses.

But this isn’t a helpful thing to do.

If you want to stop being clingy, it starts from admiting your truth – YOU ARE NEEDY

2. Discover the reason for your clinginess

There’s usually a reason behind our behaviours. You know, the cause and effect relationship.

Find out why you’re clingy.

Is it that no one cares about you, you’re afraid he’ll leave you or you think being all over you is a proof that a man loves you?

Whatever it is, find out. You can’t find a solution if you don’t know the source of the problem.

3. Get a life

I talk about this all the time.

Perhaps the reason you’re acting needy is because you have too much time on your hands to focus on your object of affection.

If you’re neck deep in some work or project, you won’t have too much time to splurge on someone else (who’s also busy with their own lives).

However, I understand that some people are so clingy to the point of neglecting other important things like work because they’re in love.

If other aspects of your life are suffering because of your neediness, you need to find help.

4. Learn to have fun alone 

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should throw your independence out of the window.

Even in marriage, couples don’t always spend time together.

Happy couples enjoy their independence as much as they enjoy being together.

One way to avoid being clingy is to have fun on your own without him. Let him see that you’re capable of having a good time without him.

You are much more attractive when he sees that you value and enjoy your independence as much as you enjoy being with him.

You don’t have to lose your individuality because you’re in love.

5. Make time for friends and family 

Don’t neglect your family and friends because you’re in love. Balance thing by spending time with them as well and not only with your man.

2. Insecurity

As a lady, you should feel at peace, relaxed when you’re with your man. If you don’t, then you are probably in the wrong ship.

Apart from the fact that being insecure could make him like feel you don’t trust him, it could be so tiring trying to assure you over and over all the time that you’re safe with him, that he’s all yours.

You are always afraid to let him off your sight, you want him to reassure you of his love every minute, your heart races when he speaks to any lady, even though they’re friends.

You constantly compare yourself to the women in his life and you wonder if you measure up.

You live in fear that one day you’ll wake up and he’d be gone from your life.

All these could be so draining, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

While we all have our insecurities, it’s important to remind you that you are enough. You deserve to be loved and cared for, despite your flaws.

If you are insecure in your relationship, it’s important to find out why.

Are your man’s actions making you insecure or you have some personal issues making you insecure?

Find out and deal with it.

Don’t let your insecurities cost you a good relationship.


3. Possessiveness

No one’s going to take your man from you if he’s truly yours.

A lady that claims ownership of her man, monitors his every move, gets suspicious just because she does not want him to be with someone else is unknowingly pushing her man away.

A little possessiveness is fun, but overdoing it sends the wrong signal to a man.

Men get tired when a lady is trying to have complete control over them, this makes them lose interest and walk away.

Cut him some slack, sometimes.

It’s easier to do this when you have a life, not just that, an interesting life.

This keeps a man interested in you and makes him want to be a part of your life because you love your life with or without him.

“When a man sees you are happy with him but you can be just as happy having nothing to do with him, that’s when he won’t want to leave your side.” -Sherry Argov,Why Men Marry Bitches

A lady left an angry comment on my post, how to keep him interested because I encouraged women to get a life and enjoy their life with or without a man. She said I should go get a life because women want different things.

While I understand that we all want different things, I don’t think advising women to have a good life with or without a man is a bad thing. When women make men/relationship their sole purpose of living, it never ends well.

They usually end up dumped, heartbroken, used or abused.

I replied her via email that an article is not for everybody. Why get angry because a writer didn’t write what you want to read?

Being too possessive shows you’re insecure.

Let the man breathe. Let him have a life and enjoy a healthy relationship with others. You’re not the only one he needs in his life.

It’s important that you also take a breather, enjoy a healthy relationship with your family and friends because you need them. Your man is not the only person you’ll need in your life.


4. Desperation

I encourage women to know what they want, go for it, and never settle for a time-waster.

However, if you are with a man, especially when you are just getting to know each other, and all you wanna talk about is marriage, marriage, marriage.

Trust me, he’ll lose interest.

Forget the women want love, men want respect mantra we’ve been made to believe. I’m all for mutual love and mutual respect in any love relationship.

Men want to be loved as well. They want to be sure you love them and not just the relationship.

They want to be sure you are interested in them and not just interested in being in a relationship.

I understand that it’s hard not to be desperate especially when age is a villain, but take time to enjoy the relationship and don’t be desperate.

Being desperate isn’t exactly the problem, but what desperation can make you do.

If you think you’ve had enough time together and the relationship should move to the next level but he’s not saying anything, then he certainy has reasons for not doing that.

Read>> Why He Hasn’t Proposed to You Yet

5. Pretence

One of the qualities of an attractive woman is authenticity – being genuine, being yourself, not trying to impress anyone by being who or what you are not.

Being authentic makes a man love you for who you are. He’ll know how to love you because he understands the real you and what makes you tick.

If you pretend to be who you are not, and he senses a foul play, he might lose interest in you because he doesn’t know the real you, thus, you can’t be trusted.

It’s hard trusting someone who is not comfortable in her own skin.

It’s okay to be vulnerable, but be real.


6. Too pleasing (not having a mind of your own)

Many of us were raised to believe ‘submissiveness’ is the way to get and keep a man.

Well, I think submissiveness is one of the most misconstrued words in the world today especially when it comes to relationship and marriage.

Being in love doesn’t mean you can no longer form your own opinions about issues.

For crying out loud, you are an adult with an awesome brain and personality. You have your unique experiences and preferences that make you, you. You shouldn’t throw all that away and become a clone of a man because you want to please him.

As a matter of fact, real men are attracted to women who are intelligent, who know what they want, and can caution them when they are heading in the wrong direction. A real man appreciates a woman who can look out for him.

A man is likely to lose interest in ladies that have no mind of their own, who say ”yes” to everything he says, wants, or suggests.

He won’t even trust or respect you because he knows you’ll say ”yes” even if he’s about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

I’m not saying you should be unnecessarily difficult, I’m only encouraging you to be yourself. Be the unique individual that you are.

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Nancy Claypool

Saturday 26th of February 2022

This is great, but I have met men with these same negative aspects of their character. So why aren't there more articles yelling men that these are just as irritating to women?

Mabel's Blog

Sunday 27th of February 2022

I have hundreds of male-focused articles on my blog. I bet you haven't read a quarter of my blog posts. lol

More importantly, as a reader, if you are not open-minded, you will not learn.

This post is for women.

Read it and pick whatever you can from it.

When Your Boyfriend Stops Making an Effort: Do This! - Olubunmi Mabel

Wednesday 13th of October 2021

[…] may have felt too responsible for you, or that he was committed to always look after your […]

Mosetsanagape Molefi

Wednesday 1st of September 2021

Wow. After reading this i have realised that I am clingy. I usually get scared when he is away. And when his phone rings i want to know if it's a woman or not. Thank you very much. I will learn to change my behavior and attitude.

Mabel's Blog

Wednesday 1st of September 2021

I have no doubt you'll have a good relationship. Your willingness to admit your flaws and work on them is impressive!

I admire you.


Thursday 1st of April 2021

It goes both ways, but this arcticle just happens to be about what a woman can do, not a man, It's not so much pleasing a man, but adjusting your life to make both of you feel comfortable in the relationship, each individual must put in some effort to create a healthy relationship, I think you misunderstood the pointers that was given. Correct me if I'm wrong Ms.Mabel [I'm 18 by the way]


Thursday 1st of April 2021

That comment was for loralee


Monday 9th of November 2020

I have discover my problems. Most times I'm the one that calls, text.vtime to up my game. Thanks alot Mabel.


Wednesday 11th of November 2020

Awww. So glad you found it helpful!