How to Know if He is Using You for Sex

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People date for different reasons.

I get it.

It’d be wrong to assume that everyone dates for love.

So, yes, some people date for the sole purpose of physical intimacy.

If this is why you’re in a relationship, you can’t stop reading here. 

But if you want a relationship where you want to love and be loved in return, respected, and treated like the queen that you are, then you’ll want to be sure that you’re on the same page with the person you’re dating, and that he’s not using you for sex without your knowledge.

So, how do you know if a guy is just using you for sex and not really into you?

How do you know if he wants you for real or you’re just his pastime?

Here’s how to know:

  1. It’s all about s*x every time you see

While it’s good to be physically attracted to each other in a relationship and want to be locked in each other’s arms every time you see, it’s a problem if getting physically intimate is all you do.

You should be exploring each other’s minds as well and not just your bodies.

There are other ways you can enjoy each other’s company without getting physically intimate.

You can go on dates, visit new places together, play games, learn new things etc.

There are lots and lots of things you can do together.

If he’s not interested in doing other things with you every time you meet except being physically intimate, you should beware.

Maybe that’s all he wants. Maybe he’s using you for sex.

2. You do it wherever you meet 

It’s all about s*x wherever you meet.


In the car, at a party, in the office, at home, a friend’s house etc), that’s what he wants, even if you don’t.

3. He adds nothing to your life

One of the goals of being in a relationship is to have someone to encourage and support you to achieve your life goals.

If he’s doing nothing in your life except getting physically intimate with you, that may be all he’s there for.

He doesn’t care about your life goals, your dreams and aspirations. He doesn’t even care about your challenges.

You don’t even talk about these things, and when you do, it’s either he’s disinterested or doesn’t have anything meaningful to contribute.

4. He boasts always of his ability to take you to cloud nine

He’s always boasting of his bedroom skills thereby making you look forward to seeing him for some action.

There should be other skills he should boast of to you.

What about leadership skill, decision-making ability, financial management etc.?

What else is he bringing to the table?

5. Your meeting place

You’re always meeting in places where getting physically intimate is easy and tempting.

A friend once asked me what a guy meant by inviting her over to his house on a first date.

She felt insulted and wondered if it was okay to feel that way.

Why his house on a first date? Why not meet elsewhere?

If he’s always suggesting that you meet in places where it’ll just be you and him, then he might have a different intention from yours.

6. Meeting time

He always wants you to meet up late in the night when you’re too tired to have any meaningful discussion or when you’re likely to end up where you can both have some fun.

7. Your communication

Your phone talks, chats, and messages are always about how you can’t wait to eat up each other when next you see.

Or you keep reminiscing about the fun times you had together.

A relationship should be about getting to know each other and getting into each other’s worlds.

There are countless of things to talk about – childhood experiences, college, work, goals, dreams and aspirations, movies, opinions about different issues etc.

If you don’t seem to have anything else to talk about but your fun times, maybe that’s all there is about the relationship.

Physical intimacy is the only connection you have; that’s the only thing connecting you together.

9. What he misses about you

The only thing he misses about you and being with you is your body.

Is that all there is to miss about you?

What about your smiles, your laughter, your company?

Always remember that you’re a total package and you have more to offer.

9. His availability

He’s never available when you need him, except for some action of course.

He’s never willing to do anything for you or go an extra mile to please you or make you happy except he’ll get some action in return.

10. His mood

He’s not always happy when you turn him down.

This is how you know a guy who is really into you or just into the action.

That’s why women are advised not to give in until he’s put a ring on that finger.

If you give in to a man because you’re afraid he’ll leave, then, you’re in a wrong boat.

A man should be with you because he’s into you, not because of your coochie.

A lot of women who desire to be celibate in their relationship are subtly pressured to give in because they fear a man will leave them if they don’t give in.

I believe any man who doesn’t want you because you don’t want to be physically intimate with him yet isn’t serious about you.

Your coochie is all he wants, and he only wants to use you for sex.

11. Respect for your body

He’s doesn’t respect your body.

A man who loves you should respect it when you say NO.

He shouldn’t push it.

If he loves you, he’ll respect your choice and body.

12. His plans

Not only does he not share his plans with you, but he also doesn’t include you in them, except of course it has to do with getting some action.

This is because he has no plans for you!

He only wants you for sex.

13. Requests for nudes

He might request for your nudes or even suggest you record a video of your ‘actions’.

And if you refuse, there’ll be trouble in paradise.

Ladies who give in to these requests usually end up regretting because they become victims of blackmail and manipulation, especially when they want out of the relationship.

The men threaten to release their pictures and videos.

I’ve handled some real-life cases myself.

That’s why I keep telling ladies not to fall into the temptation of sending intimate pictures and recording adult videos with a boyfriend.

14. He’s not interested in you

If someone loves you, they’ll be interested in you and in knowing you more.

But a man who wants to use you for sex will not care about who you are or want to know you more.

A man who wants for real will be excited to crack your code each day.

15. Your feelings

If you feel you deserve more, then you do.

Because women are so blessed with the gift of intuition, we can always tell if we are being loved or used except for women who allow themselves to be blinded by emotions and sentiments.

If you think you deserve more, then settle for more.

Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a piece of rag.

Know what you want and don’t settle for less.

signs that he is using you for sex

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13 thoughts on “How to Know if He is Using You for Sex”

  1. I met my wife and we had sex on the second date. We had sex every night for the next two years, not missing out even once. The best sex and the best partner I’ve ever had. We have been together for over 49 years.

  2. I feel like that and he is in another city but i realize i have to stand my ground and move on because it’s nothing there with him.

  3. Really good advice.l noted all the points on my ex_bf and my intuition told me something wasn’t right and I quit before he came to realise it.


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