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Women have always been the ones afraid to lose their men.

This is why some men think they are doing a woman a favor by dating or marrying her.

Let’s be honest; society hasn’t been exactly fair to women in their expectations of us.

Women are considered incomplete without a man to call their own, no matter how successful they might be in their careers.

People are always interested in who a woman is dating and not dating.

But I encourage women to swap positions and be the ones a man is afraid to lose.

It’s such a great position to be in.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying you shouldn’t value your man.

I’m just saying no one should think they are doing someone a favor by being in a relationship with them.

I’m also saying no woman should ever put herself in a position where she has to fight for a man’s commitment or struggle to keep a man because she has the perpetual fear of losing him.

Every man would be afraid to lose a woman who means the world to him.

I am aware that it is a tired cliché to say that “men are afraid of commitment” and I am also aware that many women like to think this is a bad thing.

They like to blame men for their own lack of happiness, or their tendency to get into relationships with men who aren’t good enough for them.

Well, it’s time to stop blaming men and start asking yourself: why are you looking for a man who is afraid of commitment?

The truth is, there are only two kinds of women out there: the kind that men can’t wait to marry, and the kind that they can’t wait to get away from.

Most women fall somewhere in between, but if you want to be the kind of woman that men can’t wait to marry, you need to be able to be a woman he doesn’t want to lose.

A woman who has flaws, imperfect, yet perfect for him.

And here is how to be that woman:


1. Know your worth

As a woman, have confidence in yourself, in your power as a woman.

You need to have that confidence where you know you don’t have to be less to keep a man.

Real men do not want to take you down; they want to rise to meet you where you are.

Know that you matter a whole lot.

Believe in yourself. Be someone you can count on.

Stand up for yourself, do not let anybody treat you poorly or any less.

When you know your worth, you’ll know that any man who has you is a lucky one.

You won’t let anyone treat you lesser than you deserve, no matter how flawed you are.

Please know your worth and never settle for less.

A man is likely to treat you the way you treat yourself.

Why not set an excellent example for him?

A woman who knows her worth doesn’t go into a relationship seeking worth; instead, she brings value into the relationship.

The following highly-rated books will help you boost your confidence:



2. Add value, bring something to the table

No sane man would ever want a woman who is always demanding and hardly ever contributes.

While a man could be with you because he loves you, it’s not always about that only.

Men stay with women who bring something to the table, women who add value to them in one way or the other e.g.

giving helpful advice

giving suggestions that help his career

having a good sense of humor that makes him laugh his heart out

inspiring him to have dreams of a good life and readiness to work it out

being his number one fan

having intelligent conversations etc…

Read: the secrets of the best girlfriends ever.

When we talk about ‘bringing something to the table, women usually think it’s all about earning money, being financially independent, or contributing financially.

Financial independence and contribution are essential, but not all there is to bringing something to the table.

If you are not contributing financially, does that mean you are not bringing something to the table or adding value to the relationship?


Money or the lack of it shouldn’t define you or determine your value.

You can add value in the other ways listed above.

Money is not everything.

So, if you are not adding value to the relationship or bringing anything to the table, why would he want to be with you?

Will you want to be with a man who adds nothing to your life?

Except, of course, you’re dickmatized. 

18 Signs He Will Marry You Someday


3. Get a life

One of the best ways to make a man afraid to lose you is to get a life.

It’s very attractive and alluring.

Because men are attracted to women who have lives that are full of “things” they want to be part of.

If you’re doing things on your own, he can’t get in the way of your life.

If you have a full life, then even if you lose him, you still have it all.

You won’t lose yourself in him the way most women do when they make men their purpose for living.

You won’t lose yourself in him because you know that even if he was gone from your life, your life wouldn’t be empty.

Your life will still be complete.

Fact is, most men want to be with a woman who has her own life, friends, hobbies, and interests.

Men do not want a woman who is solely dependent on them for entertainment, fun, and social activities.

A man wants a woman that he can be proud of and show off to his friends and family.

He also wants someone he can have good conversations with.

So, the more interesting you are as an individual, the more interested he will be in you.

The last thing mature men want is a woman who needs constant attention or is afraid to spend time alone.

It’s annoying!

Don’t get me wrong.

Men like to feel needed but they also like their freedom.

If you are always calling him or texting him, don’t be surprised if he stops answering your calls or texts.

He may start feeling smothered and trapped because he can never get any space from you.

Even if you are in love with each other, it is important for both of you enjoy your lives separately.

I can’t stress this enough:



Is he afraid to lose me


4. Have healthy self-esteem

Self-esteem is your opinion about yourself.

Feel good about yourself and know fully well that you deserve respect.

You don’t need a man to tell you you you’re amazing before you believe you are.

Don’t let your self-esteem come from people’s validation.

Place a high value on your opinions and rules without being unreasonable.

Say your mind without the fear of rejection, but be open-minded as well.

If you struggle with low self-esteem, these books will be of great help in boosting your self-esteem:



7 Things That Make a Man Want to Marry You


5. Be yourself

Be original. Be real. You don’t have to fake it.

Don’t try to be someone you are not to impress a man.

A lady once told me her boyfriend said he didn’t like that she likes to eat (mind you, she’s not overweight).

He also didn’t like her extroverted nature.

This is a lady who hosts a radio program.

She had to quit the relationship because she was becoming choked trying to be who she wasn’t.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t work on your excesses, but you shouldn’t pretend to be who you are not to make a man wants to be with you.

Love thrives when you are with someone who loves you for who you are.

A man that complains about the things that make you isn’t meant for you.

Don’t hesitate to send him away from your space.

You don’t need a man who makes you doubt yourself and your authenticity.

8 Signs He Will Never Forget You


6. Be considerate

It is not always about you.

Put your partner’s feelings into consideration as well.

“How will he feel if I act this way?” Or “How will he feel if I say this?”

You don’t have to say everything that’s on your mind if it will hurt your partner.

Don’t be self-centered.

Some women are so demanding when they want something; they don’t care how their men will get it so far he gets it for them.

No one wants to be with a selfish partner.


7. Be proud of yourself and your man

There is no point in being with someone you are not proud of.

He might not be the wealthiest man or the most handsome man on the planet, but he’s the love of your life, and you are proud of him.

A man would know if you are proud of him or not.

A man will be encouraged to be a better man when he knows that you are proud of him.

It’s like an ego booster for them.

If you are ashamed of your man, there’s no point being with him.

Leave him for another woman who would be proud of him.

Let me also state that it’s possible to be in love with a man you are not proud of YET, but you can help him to be a man you can admire ONLY IF he’s willing to work on himself, and without ruining your own life.

If he’s not ready to make himself an admirable man, his insecurities will frustrate you.

I’m not sure you want that.

A real man will not let go of a woman who helps him to be a better man.

What to Do When He Stops Making an Effort


8. Be helpful

Don’t be a liability. Be a partner.

Every man wants to be with a woman who is ready to partner with him, who is prepared to help him fulfill his passion, his dreams, and life goals.

A man will be afraid to lose a woman who completes him.

Someone who can help him with things he forgot to remember.

Help him improve and be a better person.

Support him.

Be his cheerleader.

Cheer him up, cheer him on.

Help him achieve his goals (but not at the expense of your dreams).

Just be the kind of woman who inspires him to achieve his goals and dreams in life.

A woman who helps him become a better person by giving him the motivation and encouragement he needs when times get hard or when no one believes in him anymore. 

She makes him feel good about himself when others put him down or make fun of his dreams.

Because, come to think of it, marriage is about being with someone who completes you.

Someone whose strengths make up for your weaknesses.

Every man wants a woman who will be a Michelle to his Obama. 

If you complement him, he won’t want to lose you just as you’d love a man who complements you.

10 Signs Your Man Trusts You


9. Don’t be boring

Be fun-loving and fun to be with.

Spice up the relationship and be romantic.

Keep creating sweet, loving, and exciting memories.

Even if the relationship doesn’t lead into marriage, he won’t forget you and these memories.

Let him be happy he is in a relationship with you.

Be yourself, but be an exciting version of yourself.

Women have the ability to light up a room with their smiles and laughter; they can make someone’s day with just a few kind words.

Remember, you are a woman; you are a walking miracle. 


10. Love and take care of your body

Take care of yourself and your body.

Not for a man, but for yourself.

Love your body.

You don’t need to have a perfect body or be a Kim Kardashian to love and accept your body.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 2 or size 12 as long as you have healthy habits, eat well, and exercise regularly.

Don’t body-shame yourself. Society is doing a ‘great’ job with that already.

16 Signs He’s in Love With Someone Else


11. Let him know you are not afraid to quit

When a man knows you are not afraid to leave him if he mistreats you, he’ll not want to lose you, especially if he values you.

Let him know your deal breakers; let him know what you will tolerate and not tolerate.

In conclusion, you can be and do all these, and a man will still not value you.

This is why you shouldn’t be afraid to quit a relationship where you are treated lesser than you deserve.

And while you do, understand that your value doesn’t reduce due to someone’s inability to see your worth.

In summary, a woman a man is afraid to lose is not just any type of woman.

She is a woman that has her own life, her own goals and plans, her own money, and her own principles.

She knows what she deserves and will not settle for less.

She knows how to make a man fall in love with her without changing who she is or what she believes in.

She has enough self-respect to walk away from someone who treats her poorly, even if they are “the love of her life.”

She is a woman who chases after the things she wants in life instead of waiting for them to come to her.

She knows that it’s okay to be vulnerable and take risks in relationships.

She will tell you how she feels when she feels it, and she doesn’t expect you to read her mind.

She lets go of people who do not appreciate her or do not respect who she is as a person.

She doesn’t allow herself to get caught up in drama but instead focuses on the things that are most important to her in life.


when a man is afraid of losing you


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Sunday 14th of April 2024

Thank you so much for this write up. Very very educative. I appreciate


Sunday 18th of February 2024

I was deeply in love with this guy but he happened to be a friend to my ex, we agreed to go on a relationship with the condition that we'll let my ex know but its been months and he is scared of doing that so i had to ket him go. We love each other but its unhealthy


Saturday 10th of February 2024

It is lovely,love that

Precious Ifesinachi

Sunday 4th of February 2024

I love this article


Saturday 27th of January 2024

Thank you so much for sharing these relationship nuggets with me. I find them really helpful and educative at the same time. Great job done ✅