Apart from the fact that every marriage is different, there’s no ‘marriage school’.
Or, marriage is actually a school where you collect your certificate before even starting.
So, we are bound to make mistakes.
As wives, we are bound to make mistakes in our marriage.
The most important thing is to know that we are making mistakes and learn from them.
I’m married, and I can tell you that I’ve made these top three mistakes most wives make in marriage.
I’m not trying to judge us but to point out to us these top three mistakes that we make in our marriage, so we can be better wives to our husbands.
What are these top three mistakes wives make in marriage?
Expecting the husband to meet all their needs
While it’s important to have expectations in marriage and expect our husbands to meet certain needs, we need to understand that our husbands our humans as well, who have their own needs.
A man cannot meet ALL of our needs. Only God is omnipotent.
Wives expect husbands to be their friend, gist partner, rant mate, father, gossip partner, brother, doctor, counselor, teacher, engineer, protector etc.
Yes, your husband should be all of these to you at different times, but he’ll not always be available.
That’s why you need your own girlfriends. That’s why you shouldn’t ditch your girlfriends just because you’re married.
Marriage will not meet all your needs and expecting your husband to be everything to you will only end in disappointments, which could in turn breed anger and resentment.
What to do?
Dear wife, your husband is human too, and he can’t be your everything. ☺
Expecting your husband to always read your mind
Husband: Are you okay?
Wife: Yes! (Not smiling)
Husband: What’s wrong?
I’m so guilty of this. 😁
We usually assume that our husbands should know why we are angry, what we are thinking, what we need, what we need them to do, and what to do to make us happy.
While it’s important for spouses to be sensitive to each other’s needs and feelings, truth is, we can’t always know what is going on in each other’s minds.
Everyone has things going on in their mind, and it’s quite cumbersome trying to figure out what is on another person’s mind every time.
For instance, if you want your husband to help with some household chores, just ask him instead of assuming that he should know you need help.
Olamide, a wife and a mom wrote a guest post on five lessons she learned the hard way in her marriage, and expecting her husband to read her mind was one of them.
What to do?
Learn to speak out whatever you have on your mind. These men could be clueless sometimes.
Trying to fix the husband
Have you ever thought of a world where you could mold your kind of man, and put into him all the exact attributes that you desire in a man?
Oh, what a perfect marriage it’d be! Or a perfect world.
That means your man would act and react the way you want.
While this sounds like a great idea, it’d be way too boring! 😫 It’d take the fun and spontaneity of knowing someone away.
No matter how much you love your husband, there’ll surely be something you want him to improve on. Just like you, your husband isn’t perfect.
What to do?
Understand and tolerate him. Isn’t that love is about? Loving each other’s strengths and tolerating each other’s weaknesses.
You can’t nag a man to change. You can’t fix him. Nobody can fix anyone. Have you been able to fix yourself?
But can you influence him to change?
Influence is more subtle and powerful. And I believe women possess the power to influence their men to do what they should do.
These are the top three mistakes women make in marriage. I’ll also have to admit that these might not be the top three mistakes for every wife because we are all unique and different.
However, I believe we can learn from each other, and I hope you’ve learnt from these.
Let’s keep being the amazing women that we are.