Conflicts are normal occurrences in every relationship/marriage. Conflicts cannot be prevented, they can only be managed.
One of the ways to manage conflicts is not to say things that could hurt your partner in ways that will do irreparable damage to your relationship.
Conflicts will come and go, but words spoken during conflicts (even if you didn’t mean them) could linger for long, and even lead to the end of a relationship. I learnt this the hard way, and I shared my story here.
It is usually hard to set things right after saying mean and hurtful things to each other during a fight. It is better you do not say something you’ll regret later because the temptation is always there to hit below the belt just to score cheap points during an argument.
Below are 8 things you should never say to your spouse during a quarrel.
Things Never to Say to Your Partner During a Quarrel
1. Saying things about their looks
You have always loved their looks, why do you suddenly have issues with it now?
Saying something about their looks will make them more vulnerable and insecure especially if they’re insecure about their looks.
Hardly will they ever trust your opinions about them again.
Words like ugly, horrible, fat, unattractive, unappealing etc. aren’t nice words to use for your partner no matter how angry you are.
2. Sexual ability
Never insult their sexual abilities. You’d make them feel terrible.
They will believe you’ve always had this in mind and you just had the chance to spew.
Using your partner’s sexual problem to hurt them will never leave your marriage the same.
3. Never mention their parents
The argument is between you two, there’s no need bringing their parents into it. Don’t badmouth their parents.
It not only shows you have no regard whatsoever for them, but it also shows you don’t have respect for your own parents as well.
Because if you insult your partner’s parents, you’re likely to get the same treatment.
If don’t want your parents to be insulted, don’t insult someone else’s parents.
4. Pasts they shared with you
Do not begin to dig up past experiences and secrets they shared with you.
Help their past to remain in the past.
If you use their pasts to score points, they’d be hurt and would probably never trust you enough to share secrets or even vital information with you.
You should be able to keep a secret, no matter how angry you are.
Don’t mock them with their struggles and problems.
Everyone is trying to make their lives better in some way. Don’t make it harder for them or make them feel like they ain’t trying their best.
6. Getting a divorce
Don’t be quick to use the “D” word if you don’t really want it.
Threatening your spouse with divorce shows lack of regard for your union.
If you don’t want a divorce, don’t mention it.
We are likely to call our partner names when emotions are running high, but doing that will only leave a bad taste in our mouth.
Resist the temptation to call your partner names, because they might never forget those names you called them, even if you didn’t mean them.
No spouse would be happy seeing their partner talk about another person’s spouse just to make them feel like someone else is doing better than them.
Don’t do the comparison thing, focus on your spouse and the issue at hand.
Don’t you ever wish someone else’s spouse was your spouse because so many things happen behind closed doors that we don’t know about.
Always remember that words are like eggs, once broken, can never be retrieved.
Conflicts are easier to resolve when hurtful words are not said. It’s better to walk away from an argument scene than to say something you’ll forever regret.