You just had an intimate session with your spouse.
It was great. Or not.
However it was, the end of a thing is as important as the beginning and the process.
Below are 5 things you’re probably doing wrong after being intimate with your spouse:
1. Not complimenting your spouse if you had a good time
It’s not fair to keep quiet and let your spouse wonder if you had a great time.
While it’s okay for your partner to ask if you had a great time, it shouldn’t be every time.
Praising your partner for a job well done will only make them feel good about themselves, they’ll also look forward to another great time with you, which will improve the quality of your marital sex life.
Why do you stomach your compliments for your spouse?
Is it shyness, lack of what to say or you simply don’t want them to feel good about themselves?
Whatever it is, expressing your satisfaction to your spouse will do your marriage a world of good. Believe me, I’m speaking from experience.
If you don’t know what to say, below are things you can say after a steamy romantic session with your spouse :
That was good
I loved it
You were good
You have really missed me, right?
Who are you today?
I missed that
That was great
You did great today.
You’re the champ!
That was awesome
I wouldn’t forget this in a hurry
This should last me for a week
I had a great time
I really missed you
I didn’t want it to end
I love you
That was special
You know how to make me happy
I’d love that again
Let’s do that again/soon
Nah, don’t thank me. That’s why I’m here. 😍
2. Not saying what you want
Perhaps you didn’t have/you haven’t always had a great time, not speaking up and letting your spouse dive into an ocean of guesswork is not a good post-intimacy habit.
I understand that airing sexual dissatisfaction to a spouse is dicey and sensitive; majorly because we don’t want to be misunderstood or have their feelings/ego hurt; especially if one’s spouse is insecure and egotistical.
But you can’t keep quiet forever. You shouldn’t be suffering and smiling.
Your partner’s response will largely be determined by your manner of approach.
If you approach your spouse in a loving, non-judgmental, and humorous way, I doubt if they’d make a mountain out of a molehill.
I’ve done this before – gave my husband a suggestion of how I’d love things to be done.
He saw reasons with me, agreed, and we implemented them.
This is another reason why you should compliment your spouse often.
If you’ve been doing this, they wouldn’t take your complaints personally.
They wouldn’t think you’ve never had something good to say but only negative ones.
They wouldn’t think you find it easier to complain than to compliment them.
Passing positive compliments and airing your dissatisfaction are acts of sexual communication that enhances sexual intimacy.
If you don’t know how to choose the appropriate words, you can consider the following:
I’d really love if you/we…
I like it when you…
It hurts when you…
Can we try to…
I’d like us to…
I’ve discovered that..
Would you mind if i/we…
Do you know about… (if you want to introduce something new)
What do you know about…
I don’t think you should go wrong with any of the above, and with the right attitude, of course.
3. Getting up immediately after
If you don’t have something really urgent to attend to, getting up immediately after a great time with your spouse isn’t a good idea.
Spend at least a minute or two to soak in the moment and relish every bit of it.
Let it linger in your memory until the next romantic time you’d have together.
4. Not cuddling your spouse
Just like the third point, you shouldn’t just leave your spouse after having a great time.
Cuddling your spouse for a minute or more, if you have the time, is an experience you don’t want to miss.
It’s such a great way to bond with your spouse.
You can also have a heart to heart talk or pillow talks while at it.
5. Picking up your phone immediately after
Doing this will only rob you of the amazing opportunity to bond with your spouse.
In this digital age where nothing seems to matter more than our phones, it’s no surprise that the first thing we reach out for after an intimate time with our spouse is our phone.
Yes, our, because I’m guilty of this too.
It’s sad that we usually choose to connect with the digital space over connecting with our spouses.
Our phones should bring us closer to our spouses and not drive a wedge between us.
If you’re guilty of these post-intimacy habits, I hope you’ll work on them and see how it’ll improve your marriage.
Have a blissful one!