Doing the same thing over and over again with the same person in the same place could get boring.
This is why many conclude that physical intimacy in marriage is boring.
Isaac Newton’s first law of motion states that “an object will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external force. That is, objects will remain in their state of motion unless a force acts to change the motion.”
That means nothing will change except you enforce a change.
If you want intimacy between you and your spouse to be top-notch, then you’ve got to shake things up.?
Shake ’em up a lil bit.
You can’t get extraordinary results by putting in ordinary efforts.
If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom, below are 8 simple tips to help you achieve extraordinary results:
1. Have fun doing it
Getting it on in marriage could be a chore sometimes, but it should be fun most of the time.
I read somewhere that, if you’re not laughing when you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it with the wrong person.
Physical intimacy doesn’t have to be too serious, so, relax, make funny comments, be playful, laugh off any awkwardness, if any,
Make it fun.
2. Try new things
Getting it on could become less enjoyable if it’s done in the same place and in the same way every blessed time.
To spice things up, you could get it on in different places apart from your bedroom.
Also, try positions you haven’t tried before, and if there’s anything you’d love to try, communicate it with your spouse.
Just be open-minded in order to have a change of experience.
3. Don’t always wait for a perfect time
If you want to wait until you have all the time in the world to be intimate with your spouse, you might wait forever.
Because there’ll always be one thing or the other to tick off your to-do list, especially if you have kids.
With kids, you can never have enough time. So, sometimes you’ve got to do it when and where the opportunity comes
She further explained that the closet is usually their meeting point when they both return from work.
I think it’s an amazing thing. Because after work, they’d want to spend time with the kids, and they might be too tired to even lift their hands when they retire to bed.
I’d love to emulate their style – doing it at the available opportunity, and not waiting for a perfect time.
This also adds some sort of spontaneity to it, and spontaneity is the mother of spice.
4. Take a break
Ok, this might sound controversial, but I’ll explain.
While it’s very healthy and beneficial for couples to frequently get busy between the sheets, however, taking a break from it could also spice things up.
You know the excitement that surges through your body when you’re about to see your spouse who has been away for a week or more?
Yes, that excitement can be created even when you and your spouse are together.
Sometimes, couples take a break unintentionally, and when they eventually get it on, it feels different. There seems to be more passion, more energy, more longing.
I asked some married people what they think about taking an intentional break from physical intimacy.
Below are some of the responses I got:
”I value breaks! This is the only thing that makes me long for it! Affection should be expressed in other forms. My long-distance marriage has helped in achieving this.” -Angela
”Taking a break just to have a great time in the end is not bad. When you have it all the time, it becomes boring. Taking a break is not denying your spouse. I see it as doing other fun things just to build up the excitement. It is not wrong. If you can’t go on such break with your partner then….there is something wrong. Physical intimacy is not the only proof of love.” – Queen
”I doubt if couples will intentionally do this or should I say for the sole reason of build-up thingy. The reasons for abstinence for a while will be religious, distance, maybe pregnancy and yes if one or both parties are not interested for reasons best known to them.” Nemo
”Married and living together? It will be a little difficult.” – Williams
‘‘I don’t think there is anything good about it. When you begin to regulate it, time it and all, it becomes boring and more like a routine. If one can intentionally stay away, then it’s possible for life. Except the break is for medical reasons, then it is a no for me.” – Ruby
”Intentionally, no. But sometimes you are not just in the mood. I like the idea though. Whenever I’m away for a while and I get back home, we always start from the door. It is always super different after a while.’‘- Constance
‘I doubt if this will be possible, one thing will always lead to another, from kissing to touching, caressing and so on. I think abstinence comes with reasons ranging from health issues, pregnancy, religious purposes etc. Love renews physical intimacy, when love is alive in a relationship, you can’t get bored of each other. Physical intimacy will be Oliver twist(always wanting more).” – T.K
”Sometimes this break happens unplanned especially when there’s something on one’s mind. For me, when I am broke or anything money-related calls, physical intimacy is the last thing on my mind.’‘ – Omot
”Hubby and I don’t need to fast. He’s out of town for 3 weeks and is home for 2 weeks. That’s enough fast for us.” – Ajiri
”It helps actually. It is really cool. When you fast from it especially after years of staying married, it kind of works like “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” – Amara
”Eh! I love it!!!!!!!!!! The rush of emotion is awesome. I think for some, it’s better enjoyed that way.” Modes
”Actually, it’s cool, it always feels special and new after the break.” – Modupe
”I only do that if I am fasting, if not, we roll and roll over the sheets.” Chioma
”Well, I am still young in marriage but I noticed that whenever we voluntarily or involuntarily take a break, the followup erupts like a tsunami.” Mildred
‘‘Taking a break is good, though we don’t actually say we’re on a break but we can stay up to 2 weeks to a month doing other things without getting physically intimate and it is always super-hot when we want to.’‘ – Ify
”I like taking a break, it renews the love the more.” Kenny
”Getting it on after a break is usually awesome, if you’ve not tried it before, you should, but then, it has to be an agreement between you and your spouse and it shouldn’t be for too long.” Angela
I do agree with the last comment. If this sounds like something you’d like to try, make sure you and your spouse are in agreement and don’t make it long.
Also, if you are newly married or you don’t get to see your spouse often, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you.
5. Schedule it
I’m all for spontaneity when it comes to getting on, however, for most married couples especially with little ones around, this can’t always happen.
So, couples might need to schedule it, otherwise, they might go weeks without getting any.
Is scheduling it weird?
It could sound weird to some because they’ve been made to believe that physical intimacy is more fun when it’s spontaneous.
But I think scheduling it is a cool idea.
I’ve heard some couples talk about it and how it has helped them to keep things steady in the bedroom.
I also think scheduling it could create some sort of expectation. Like, when you know you’ll be getting it on later in the evening, you kind of look forward to it.
6. Prepare for it during the day
Physical intimacy is easier and more fun when your mind and body have been prepared for it, especially for women; because sometimes, it takes longer for us to get in the mood.
A kiss here, a peck there, some grabbing here, a touch there, and some naughty text messages/chats during the day could greatly set the ground for the main action later.
Foreplay shouldn’t always be done just before the main action. It could be done during the day while you’re together or apart.
The mind is the most important sexual organ. Make love to your spouse’s mind and their bodies will follow.
7. Get away
If things have been super-dry and you need to spice it up really bad, you could have a weekend getaway.
And the kids?
Take them to their grandparents (if you’re lucky to have them near or alive).
Or you could get away for a night and have a TRUSTED babysitter around.
8. Decide to enjoy it.
If you make up your mind to enjoy it, I bet you’ll want to do all in your power to ensure physical intimacy between you and your spouse is more fun.
There should be mutual interest and effort in making it fun between couples.
If it’s just a partner that is enthusiastic about making things fun in the marriage, and the other partner is just there, frustration could set in and the zealous partner might eventually give up.
Be actively involved in making physical intimacy fun in your marriage.
I hope these 8 tips will help to supercharge your bedroom affairs and make your marriage more fun!