Have you heard people say that marital intimacy is boring?
Like, being intimate with one person becomes less enjoyable with time.
If this holds true, then every couple should go on a cheating spree.
Since it’s not everyone that is cheating on their spouses, then there are couples that still enjoy being intimate.
Why are some couples no longer enjoying intimacy?
Let me state that intimacy will not always be great between a couple, but this shouldn’t be the norm.
Here are the top 10 reasons some couples no longer enjoy intimacy:
#1 The chase has ended
There’s a motivation that comes from the desire to own something, but when you eventually have it and can get it anytime, you kind of lose the thrill of looking forward to it.
This is the same for some married couples.
While dating, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other especially for those who practised abstinence.
But when they are married and have unlimited access to each other, they are not as enthusiastic about it anymore.
Have you observed that you tend to feel hungrier when you don’t have enough food at home? But when you have everything that mouth can eat, your appetite starts to play hide and seek with you.
This is probably the reason some couples don’t enjoy doing the do anymore.
It’s important that married couples shouldn’t stop dating. Marriage shouldn’t be an end. It shouldn’t be the goal. Your spouse should be the goal.
Don’t just be interested in the marriage, be interested in your spouse.
#2 Marital responsibilities
Marriage is laden with responsibilities to be fulfilled. Bills to pay, career to pursue, personal goals to achieve etc.
All these can deal a great blow on a couple’s intimacy.
Some people work longer hours so the family can stay afloat. When they get home, they’re too tired for any business in between the sheets.
Couples need to create time for physical intimacy. You only have time for what you create time for.
Oh, children are a blessing. Buttttt…. the presence of children in the home can alter a couple’s intimacy for some years, especially when they’re young.
That brings me to the question, “Why do some babies never sleep in their beds? Why? Why? Why?”
They’d rather be like the rod of Moses that parted the red sea, parting you and your spouse on your bed.
Another question, “Why do some babies cry or want attention when you and your spouse are about to get busy?”
When kids come, you have to share your attention between them and your spouse. But some couples still try to have some quickie here and there, and that’s great!
#4 It has become a chore
While it’s the duty of a couple to fulfill intimacy needs of each other, making it a chore could take the fun out of it.
Intimacy is to be enjoyed. Have fun and laugh while at it.
It will be a chore sometimes, but this shouldn’t be the norm.
#5 Mismatched libido
In a marriage where one spouse has a high libido and the other has a low libido, being intimate could be frustrating.
No, the man isn’t necessarily the one with the high libido here. It could be the wife.
The belief that men want physical intimacy more than women is doing a lot of damage to many marriages, especially when the woman has a high libido.
It’s tough already knowing that the society expects you to have a lower libido as a woman, and further frustrating that your spouse thinks you have a problem because you’re the one who wants it more.
A couple with the problem of mismatched libido need to understand and accept each other and compromise when necessary in order to satisfy each other without a party feeling frustrated.
Addiction to watching other people’s intimacy videos is wrecking havoc in a lot of marriages.
You can’t compare your spouse with those kind of actors/actresses and expect to enjoy being intimate in your marriage.
Cheating is one of the leading causes of divorce in the present world.
When another person starts to catch your fancy, your spouse becomes less attractive to you.
How will you enjoy intimacy with your spouse when another person is constantly on your mind?
#8 Stress from household chores
Yes, household chores.
Men may not see this as a big deal, but to women, it is.
Apart from the many studies that establish a link between household chores and the quality a couple’s physical intimacy life, some women shared with me how they denied their husbands intimacy because they were stressed from doing household chores without any help.
When a woman exhausts her energy trying to put the house in order, you can’t get the best of her in the bedroom.
When a couple or a spouse isn’t flexible enough to try new things, then intimacy could get boring.
#10 Unresolved conflicts
Conflict is a normal occurrence in every marriage, but when conflicts keep occurring without getting resolved, they accumulate and cause bitterness.
How can you enjoy being intimate with someone you are bitter against?
Couples should learn to settle issues as they arise so that they don’t accumulate to become irreconcilable differences that eventually lead to divorce.
Marriage is work. If a couple is not ready to put in the work to have a great marriage (including physical intimacy), then no magic can happen.
The magic that happens is the one you make happen.
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