Physical intimacy is considered a great part of the marital relationship.
It fosters emotional intimacy, creates a deeper level of bond and communication.
S*x is pleasurable and is meant to be enjoyed by both partners, but when it becomes tiring, annoying and boring, then it simply means that there is a problem.
Apart from unavoidable factors like kids, pregnancy, childbirth, work stress or illnesses, the things that make physical intimacy boring in a marriage are not necessarily gigantic.
They could be the little things we overlook or don’t even pay attention to.
Below are reasons why physical intimacy in your marriage is boring:
1. Poor Communication
Are you wondering what physical intimacy has got to do with communication?
It has everything to do with communication.
You need to get to that point where you can talk about anything and everything in your marriage and s*x is not an exemption.
So many couples think that s*x is too dirty to be talked about and so they see it as a ‘taboo’ and as a result, they never talk about it. This is a malfunction and must be corrected.
Communication is an expression and you must be able to express yourselves in all transparency. For crying out loud, this is your partner and not some stranger.
Talk about your likes and dislikes when it comes to getting it on, talk about your favorite positions, those parts of your body that turn you on, talk about those ‘crazy’ positions you’ve not tried, but would love to try etc.
Try being open and watch physical intimacy transform for the better in your marriage.
2. You Just Want To Get It Over and Done With
There are lots of beautiful packages that come with getting it on which a lot of couples have refused to access, especially husbands.
Some just want to ‘enter the place’ without following some ‘sweet processes’ like – fondling, passionate kissing, heavy petting, deep romance, oral-genital stimulation etc.
Explore your partner’s body – get to know those places that drive him/her crazy and work wonders in those places.
You can’t overlook all these and expect to physical intimacy to be awesome in your marriage.
Try these and see how much you’ll enjoy getting it on with your spouse.
It’s not enough to just know missionary position, French kisses and romance.
There are so many other positions, different kinds of foreplay that you will never know unless you go for them.
You can’t be fixated on one style every time and yet complain that physical intimacy is boring.
Read books on sex, alone or together with your spouse and share ideas; see romantic movies together, surf the internet, explore different materials about, ask questions etc.
Expand your horizons and don’t be rigid.
You can’t do more than what you know. So, getting informed is very essential.
One of the things that will make your sex life fun is flexibility – try new things in different ways.
4. Only In The Bedroom
Physical intimacy in marriage could get boring if the only place you’ve been doing it since you got married is in the bedroom.
There is no law or constitution that states that bedroom is for getting it on and getting it on is for the bedroom only.
Mr and Mrs, please get yourselves out of the room and explore your home, especially if you don’t have kids or if they’re away – do crazy things in your sitting room, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, laundry, store, backyard, on the freezer, on the table and even in the car.
Just ensure that there’s safety and privacy.
If you can, go on vacations at different places to spend quality time together.
Do whatever you can to break the chain of being confined to your bedroom and see how those sparks will come alive.
5. One Way
Who says getting it on should always happen in the same format?
Pull off clothes, remove underwear, do a little foreplay and then the action.
There are no rules when it comes to physical intimacy as long as safety, consent, and privacy are ensured.
It should happen any day, at any time, anywhere (safe and private).
Variety is the spice of life and physical intimacy shouldn’t be left out.
Imagine different ways of approach and try it out. Let your creativity come alive and bring those vibes to your sex life.
It takes two to make a marriage work and not one person.
Physical intimacy in your marriage is likely to get boring if it is only one partner that is satisfied/doing the work.
If only one partner is satisfied, does/enjoys all the foreplay, enjoys the act itself, you think it will be fun?
To get the best of your sex life, both partners must satisfy each other.
Put your partner’s needs above yours and vice versa and watch physical intimacy between you two blossom.
7. Using Sex As A Means
Some couples use physical intimacy as a means of getting something done, to prove a point or as punishment for an argument, fight or an offence.
Doing these will definitely turn your partner off and with time, he/she may no longer enjoy getting it on with you as it’s supposed to be.
You shouldn’t withhold sex from your partner without justifiable reasons.
Physical intimacy should not be used as a bait, weapon or a transactional tool.
This act is meant to be enjoyed not endured.
8. Poor Hygiene
Hygiene has so much to do with a superb sex life.
Good hygiene makes someone looks more attractive.
Below are a few tips to maintaining good hygiene:
1. Pay attention to your underwear – bra, boxers, singlet, panties etc. Don’t repeat them for too long to avoid bad odour.
2. Clean-shave your armpit and private parts.
3. Use deodorants, perfumes, cologne etc. for freshness and nice smell.
4. Bath regularly.
5. Wash your mouth properly to avoid mouth odour (concentrate on your tongue).
6. Keep your nails clean.
7. Use good fragrance in your bedroom.
8. Change your bedding regularly.
9. Maintain beautiful hairstyles/haircuts that fit.
Good things don’t come easy. If you want to enjoy getting it on with your spouse, you have to put in the work.