Transparency is one of the pillars of a great relationship.
You know, it feels good to be able to share everything and anything with your partner.
However, sometimes, people share things they don’t want to or things they’re not supposed to share out of guilt or the need to be transparent.
If you’re wondering if it’s okay to keep some things from your partner or you don’t know the nature of the secrets not to share with your partner, this article will guide you.
Below are 10 secrets that absolutely okay to keep from your partner:
1. That you compare them with your ex in some ways
Sometimes, you may find yourself comparing your spouse with your ex.
This doesn’t mean you didn’t make the right choice breaking up with your ex or choosing your partner.
It also doesn’t mean there are some things you do not love about your partner.
Your ex may just have some traits you occasionally wish your partner has.
It’s okay not to tell this to your partner.
In fact, it’s reasonable not to because it could breed some negative emotions such as jealousy, suspicion, doubts, and insecurity.
2. That you miss your ex
Perhaps you’re yet to get over your ex or you just miss them in some ways, your partner is not the right person to share that with.
Missing someone is part of moving on.
Also, it’s a fickle, temporary feeling; sharing that with your partner can cause an enduring damage.
3. Your body count
Telling your partner the number of people you’ve had intimate moments with is an unnecessary information, especially if they are not telling you theirs.
It could breed jealousy, mistrust, and insecurity.
4. That they deserve being dumped by an ex
Perhaps your spouse has an annoying habit which you suspect might be the reason for their previous failed relationships, it’s not for you to tell it to their face.
Saying it will never leave your relationship the same.
There must be reasons why you chose your partner.
Always remember that whenever you have to tolerate any of your partner’s annoying habits.
Also, no relationship can survive without mutual tolerance, because you’re not perfect yourself.
5. That their family is problematic
No matter how problematic or dramatic your spouse’s family is, they still love their family and still carry their blood.
Saying terrible things about your partner’s family because you want to be blunt and transparent will not do your relationship any good.
It’s okay to make your opinions about your in-laws or in-laws to-be known to your partner especially if their actions affect you, but you should apply wisdom while at it.
6. Something a friend or family said about your partner
You don’t have to tell your partner every negative comment someone (friend or family) said about them.
Not everyone you love or know will like your partner and it’s okay.
Your partner does not need to know.
7. Your friends’ secrets
Some private information shared with you by your friends or some intimate things you know about them aren’t meant for your partner’s ears, even if you’re married.
Your friend isn’t necessarily your partner’s friend, so it’s okay to create some boundaries.
8. Your family’s secrets
Even if you’re married, there are some things about your own family you don’t necessarily have to share with your partner.
You’re the one who became one with your partner, not your family.
Your partner doesn’t necessarily need to know some embarrassing things about your family.
So, it’s okay to keep an air of mystery around your family to make them earn and sustain the respect of your partner.
9. Past deeds that you are not proud of
If there are things you did in the past that you are not proud of and they do not affect your relationship in any way, then it’s okay if you don’t want your partner to know about them.
Apart from the fact that sharing them could open up a can of worms, your partner may not be mature enough to handle them.
So, if you know your partner well enough and you’re sure they’ll bring up the bad stuff you’re trying to put behind you, it’s advisable to let the past remain in the past.
10. Your finances
Hey, before you judge me, read my explanation.
In an ideal relationship, partners are supposed to be financially transparent with each other.
As a matter of fact, some couples operate a joint account.
However, if you have a financially irresponsible partner and you know letting them in on your income would spell doom for your finances, it’s okay to keep them in the dark.
You don’t have to feel guilty about this because you’re protecting yourself and indirectly protecting them too because they will benefit from your financial discipline.
Mutual transparency, openness or disclosure is a prerequisite for a happy relationship.
However, it should be done with wisdom especially if they are unnecessary and could lead to hurts, negative emotions and relationship breakdown.
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