When people say they are unhappy, what they really mean is that they are yet to achieve the internal harmony required to sustain the degree of bliss they seek.
They don’t have the knowledge required to build the personal thrive they desire.
Happiness is a mindset, not an event.
It is not so much as being in a state of unending joy; because let’s be honest, no one is happy all the time.
Happiness is more of reaching an agreement within yourself to maintain tranquil equilibrium, no matter what.
Happiness is not a mystery, it can be created.
How do happy women do it?
Below are some of the habits of women who enjoy happiness:
1. They have a positive attitude
Happy women understand that life is not a straight line, it is a curve with bumps along the way.
They know that circumstances will not always be favourable, thus, they stay positive even in negative situations.
There’s so much negativity around the world.
Happy women understand that life is 10% what happens to them and 90% how they react to it; because attitude is everything.
2. They do what they love
Not everyone is lucky enough to do what they love, but one distinctive trait of most happy women is that they have found their place in life.
There’s nothing as amazing as doing what you are passionate about, something that brings you great joy, satisfaction, and fulfilment; something that makes you be in tune with yourself.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be something you make money from.
Even if they have to work jobs they don’t love to make ends meet, happy women find a way to do what they love.
It could be painting, writing, drawing, giving helpful counsels etc.
What are you passionate about?
Discover it and you’ll be a happy bunny.
3. They take self-care seriously
Happy women do not neglect themselves.
They take good care of themselves physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
They know that looking good is feeling good, feeling good is acting good.
A lot of us women take care of everyone but ourselves, and this makes us angry and bitter.
This was me six months ago with a newborn and a toddler to care for with just my husband as help.
I was not happy because I felt neglected and looked unkempt until I gave myself a pep talk on the need to also look after myself.
I still don’t have the luxury of time I need to care for myself the way I want but I no longer completely neglect myself.
I splurged on skincare products my skin is currently thanking me for, I eat whatever my heart desires, I create time to shower instead of going days without a bath, I relax with Gilmore Girls on Netflix, I create time to read books and of course, I make time to write!
I still don’t have enough time to do all I want to do but making these little changes here and there has been so beneficial to me.
If you want to be a happy woman, please try to take care of yourself.
Read: 30 Self-Care Ideas for a Bad Day
4. They are in charge of/responsible for their own happiness
Happiness is a personal responsibility.
Happy women know this and they rise to the task.
They don’t burden others with the task of their happiness.
They go in search of their own happiness.
While they may have people in their lives who make them happy, happy women understand that happiness is first a choice.
Expectations come with disappointments.
Expecting people to make you happy or be responsible for your happiness is a sure way of setting yourself up for disappointments.
You can’t be happy if you live in a constant state of disappointment.
Happy women don’t put others in charge of their happiness.
5. They have hobbies
Women who thrive have hobbies.
Hobbies are activities from which they derive pleasure.
Happy women make judicious use of their leisure time.
They play and do what brings them pleasure because they understand that all work and no fun is not a great way to live.
Aside from the fact that reading is a discipline that should be cultivated by everyone who takes personal development seriously, reading is also my favorite hobby.
Find a hobby that gives you pleasure. Just have some fun!
It could be watching movies, dancing, drawing, swimming, playing board games etc.
5. They don’t make happiness a destination
Happy women enjoy where they are on the way to where they are going.
Happiness will elude you if you wait until your circumstances are perfect before you are happy.
Some people think they’ll be happy when they land their dream job, buy their dream house, get married, have kids, buy their dream car etc.
While getting things our hearts desire fill our hearts with joy, it’s just a matter of time, we’ll start craving some other things as soon as we achieve our goals.
This is because human wants are insatiable, and more importantly, ‘a satisfied need doesn’t have the capacity to motivate‘- Abraham Maslow
Happy women do not wait until their circumstances are perfect before they are happy.
6. They know when to take a break
We live in a modern world characterized by stress.
According to a study conducted by Mental Health Foundation, UK, in 2018, “In the past year, 74% of people have felt so stressed they have been overwhelmed or unable to cope.”
Also, according to a report by the American Psychological Association, “Women are more likely than men (28 percent vs. 20 percent) to report having a great deal of stress (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale).”
“Married women report higher levels of stress than single women, with one-third (33 percent) reporting that they have experienced a great deal of stress in the past month (8, 9 or 10 on a 10-point scale) compared with one in five (22 percent) of single women.”
This isn’t surprising, considering the amount of work it takes to have a career and raise a family.
Women who care about their happiness know when to take a break from work (both job and household chores), social media, and whatever unnecessary thing that poses stress to them.
7. They don’t compare themselves
Comparison births negative emotions such as envy/jealousy, low self-esteem, self-pity etc.
Happy women understand that life is a personal race, thus, they don’t compare their journey to others.
8. Happy women are content
There’ll always be some things you can’t afford, yet.
While it’s not advisable to be complacent, happy women are content while they work towards making their desires a reality.
9. Happy women maintain good relationships
No man is an island.
Happy women maintain relationships that are important to them.
I’m so blessed to have a spouse, friends and family that I connect well with.
Keeping in touch with them makes me happy.
10. Happy women stay away from toxic relationships and environment
You can’t be happy if you remain in toxic relationships that zap your energy and joy.
Have you met women who quit toxic relationships?
They are usually happier and look so much better!
I’m not saying your relationship with people, including your partner or spouse, should be a perfect one.
Conflicts are usually a part of a healthy relationship, they are inevitable but manageable.
However, you should not be in a relationship that offers nothing but constant negativity and toxicity.
There’s no way your happiness and peace of mind will not suffer for it.
11. They do not live in regret of the past
Happy women know that happiness is impossible if they wallow in regrets of the past.
Happy women do not deny their pasts, they acknowledge them and learn from them to make better choices.
12. Happy women practise kindness
There’s a joy that fills your heart when you do something for others.
It could be something as little as holding the door for someone, being generous with your smile, buying someone lunch, giving away things you don’t need etc.
Helping others is one of the pathways to happiness.
While it’s not realistic to be in a constant state of ecstasy, being happy on most days isn’t unachievable.
These ten habits are ways to make being a happy woman achievable.
Tuesday 29th of June 2021
No 5 really resonates with me, unlike before that all I do is work and I ended up stressed and unhappy, but then I just started learning how to swim, Learnt how to play Monopoly Board Game of recent and the result has been amazing, at least I am not that young Lady that's always angry at the slighest thing people do to me.
Wednesday 18th of November 2020
I've always thought I am not a happy woman...
Well, with these points; I think I am a semi-happy woman ???.
It's such a beautiful post.
Thursday 19th of November 2020
Lol. At least you are not an unhappy woman.
Wednesday 18th of November 2020
Thank you for this write up! Just few days ago, I felt I have much more to be sad than to be happy about but, I don't know where i keep getting the strenght of not wallowing in my pains from. I'm more energized to remain happy regardless after reading.
Thursday 19th of November 2020
Awww. I'm so glad you found this post helpful! Honestly, just like you, I wonder how I manage to not to wallow in sadness. But life is all about coping. We must do all we can to stay happy!