It’s normal to have arguments from time to time when your relationship is new, challenging, and exciting.
But it doesn’t translate to you guys not being in love anymore.
Rather, fighting sometimes can be a good sign that you are committed to making the relationship work.
However, if your girlfriend always tells you to leave whenever you argue with her, you’ll need to address some issues sooner or later.
”She Tells Me To Leave Every Time We Argue”
Here are some of the reasons why she tells you to leave every time you argue with her:
1. You both have varying definitions of how a relationship should be
Every relationship is unique; there’s no one formula for every relationship.
It all depends on the individuals in the relationship.
While some people want to be very serious about all aspects of their relationship, other couples prefer the laidback approach.
You are bound to have clashes with your girlfriend sometimes if you’re the serious type and she’s laidback due to your different ideologies about relationships.
Whenever she tells you to leave during an argument, do not see she’s doing it to hurt or push you away.
Rather, see it as her way of trying to keep things in check and prevent the situation from spiraling out of control.
The most ideal and logical thing to do about it is to sit down with your girlfriend, have a conversation about your different ideologies about relationships and see if you can reach a compromise to let peace reign.
Here are some helpful ways you can have the conversation:
1. Prepare yourself and ensure all the important issues are written down.
2. Clearly state your point of view.
Ensure you’re respectful, patient, and calm while at it.
3. When arguments arise, argue against what she says and not against who she is.
4. Do not take the things she says to heart because there’s a high chance that she’s not trying to offend you intentionally.
2. She’s trying to mask her insecurities
Generally, people get uncomfortable whenever they feel insecure about themselves.
The trigger to insecurities is not far-fetched — it can be something you or someone else is doing to them.
And when these insecurities are triggered, it can make your girlfriend feel threatened.
So, she’ll have to ask you to leave as a protective measure for herself against dealing with those feelings of insecurity.
What you can do about it is try to find out why she feels that way and know if it’s something you can change.
If you can’t change it, you have to decide if it’s something you can live with.
And if you agree to live with it, try hard not to let whatever she says or does get under your skin.
Also, avoid bringing up the past in an argument because you’ll end up fuelling her anger.
But if it’s not something you can live with, maybe it’s time for both of you to go your separate ways amicably before things degenerate, get out of hand, and result in worse damage than what has already happened in the past.
3. She’s too proud to apologize
She might be letting her pride get the better of her, and that’s a good reason why she’ll ask you to leave whenever you argue.
Essentially, if she says, “Go away” or “Leave me alone, ” she likely doesn’t want to apologize for whatever she did.
Most times, people take everything as a competition, so they see being the first person to apologize as an attitude for losers.
When not checked, ugly behaviors such as this can influence your relationship negatively.
If you form the habit of always letting her off the hook whenever she’s wrong or too proud to apologize, she’ll never learn how to grow up and act mature as an adult.
With that, she’ll hardly take responsibility for her actions.
Whether this is something you can live with is totally up to you.
So, if it looks like the problem you’re facing in your relationship, you need to step up and take charge.
While it’ll take a whole lot of faith and courage to pull off, you need to put in the effort to change her mind.
Refuse to take her actions for granted anymore.
Let her know that the love you have for her is not unconditional.
4. You’re a bad influence on each other
Sometimes, you can be a major determinant of why your girlfriend acts the way she does.
Perhaps, you bring out the worst in her, and she just can’t help it.
You might be making your girlfriend act in a manner that’s totally out of her control.
How will she know what to do when she’s not at her best?
You need to stop making her do things that threaten her mental and social stability.
5. She has issues with anger management
Some people have serious problems handling their bad tempers, which all point to the fact that they cannot control their emotions.
She explodes whenever she thinks you’ve offended her and becomes intimidating, very aggressive, or ignores the fact that you exist for some time.
It usually happens when you’re in a heated argument and use the wrong words.
Try to understand the things that trigger her so that you can avoid misunderstandings of such magnitude in the future.
As long as you have good intentions and your girlfriend can see it, discussing problems is never a sign of weakness.
6. She’s not interested in the relationship anymore
If she tells you to leave every time you argue, there’s a high chance that she’s not interested in the relationship anymore.
As unbelievable as it sounds, it is very true.
And as sad and hard as it may seem, you need to leave and give her some space.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t care about her; it only means that you’ll let her go and move on with your life.
7. She expects you to leave her
If she tells you to leave every time you argue, the issue may not be that she doesn’t want the relationship, but maybe she doesn’t know how to handle conflict.
Probably due to past hurts, she shrinks from any form of conflict, and the root cause may be a broken relationship in the past where she was served a premium ‘breakfast’ (heartbroken).
It could also be due to growing up with an absent father.
Some ladies have what is called “daddy issues, ” which subconsciously play out in their relationships.
They go into relationships expecting the man to leave in the event of the slightest conflict.
They will ask the guy to leave first to assert some control when conflict arises.
She acts angry and in control, but it is all a facade.
She expects you to leave eventually, she is scared that you will leave her, but this is the best way she knows to defend herself.
This can however be fixed through communication and therapy.
Conclusion
If you’ve read up to this point, you now know why she’s constantly asking you to leave whenever you argue.
It’s time to reflect on your goals concerning the future of your relationship if you’re almost always at loggerheads with your girlfriend.
If you truly love her, you need to stop doing things that trigger her and make her feel unappreciated.
Indeed, you can’t change a person suddenly, but you can make yourself better in many ways to help your partner also want to work on becoming a better version of herself.