A good wife makes a man’s life a million times better.
But being a good wife, just like being a good anything requires intentionality and learning.
I used to think that if you are a good person as a woman, you’d automatically make a good wife, and while that is valid to some extent, it is not entirely true.
Being a good wife requires another level of intentionality because a lot has to be done.
There are many things that married women do that make them good wives, but today, we’re not looking at the “dos”; we’re looking at the “don’t.”
Those things good wives can never be caught doing.
Some of these are things they never do at all, while others are things that even if they mistakenly do, they immediately retrace their steps and make amends.
Enough of the introduction; what are these things?
13 Things Good Wives Never Do
1. Cheat on their husbands
Good wives never cheat on their husbands, ever.
They’re not part of the league of women who see cheating as normal or something it’s okay to do once in a while.
No.
They uphold their integrity and respect their commitment to their husbands.
And this doesn’t mean they don’t meet men they’re attracted to or men who want them.
Neither does it mean that they have perfect husbands and never have issues or disagreements.
Far from it.
In fact, when they have friction with their husbands or meet men who seem to be everything their husbands are not and want to get involved with them, their integrity and sincerity are tested.
Good wives face temptations to be unfaithful but they choose not to fall for it.
2. Compare their husbands to other men
If we’re being honest, it’s not easy to not compare.
As humans, comparison is something we do without even intending to.
But having discovered how negative the effects of comparison often are, we try to stay away from it.
Comparing our lives, progress, careers, etc. to that of others often leaves us feeling inadequate.
Unfortunately, some people don’t only compare themselves with others, they compare their spouses too.
The worst part?
They do it to the spouse’s hearing.
This is another thing that good wives do not do.
They understand that everyone’s strengths and weaknesses differ, and comparing their husbands to other husbands is not a great idea.
It’ll make them ungrateful and make the husbands feel unhappy.
And if it’s not making either of them happy, why do it?
3. Talk down on their husbands
Good wives stay far away from disrespect in whatever form it comes.
Some women see no wrong in yelling at their husbands even in public, talking down on them, and undermining their achievements.
But not good wives.
They steer clear of anything that can be interpreted as disrespect to their husbands.
Whether it’s belittling, mocking, or disrespecting him both in front of others or in private conversations.
Or undermining his confidence or ambitions, taking him for granted, and being unappreciative.
They know that these things are not uplifting and will not create an environment that encourages peace and growth in the marriage, so they avoid it.
4. Not actively working on improving the relationship
If you want to be a wife and a good one, then you must banish the idea of your husband being the one to put all the effort into the marriage from your mind.
Some women have been raised with the idea that a man who loves you will do everything to make the marriage work, it’s his sole responsibility to improve and sustain the relationship.
That is not true.
Good wives understand that marriage is a job for two and not one.
So, they don’t just sit back, relax and expect their husbands to work on the relationship alone.
They also invest time and effort into nurturing and strengthening their marriage.
They do this through communication, being intentional about spending quality time together, showing gratitude and appreciation to their partner, avoiding complacency, and seeking professional help when needed.
5. Abuse their husbands
A good wife never abuses her husband physically, emotionally, financially, or in any other way.
We talk a lot about wives being abused by their husbands and rarely about husbands who are being abused by their wives.
While it’s more common to hear about wives being abused by their husbands because unfortunately, a lot of women experience it, some men also suffer abuse at the hands of their wives.
The abuse is sometimes physical, but other times, it’s emotional, through manipulation, gaslighting, and so on.
It could also be through being starved of love and affection.
Good wives never abuse their husbands.
6. Ignore their husbands’ needs
Withholding affection or ignoring your partner’s needs can sometimes count as abuse.
Good wives make it a point of duty to prioritize understanding and supporting their husbands emotionally and in other ways that they can.
They know that being heard and understood is important to them, so since they love receiving it from their husbands, they give it in return.
They pay attention to their husbands’ feelings and needs.
Also, they ever withhold affection or intimacy as a form of punishment.
Good wives understand the importance of physical and emotional intimacy to a man so they never use it as a tool for manipulation or punishment.
They’re also attentive to their husbands’ perspectives and opinions.
Even when they disagree, they keep an open mind to listen to and understand their partner’s perspective.
7. Make it all about themselves
I greatly advocate for wives being cared for by their husbands.
I believe that every wife should chop life (enjoy) to her heart’s content.
I know a lot of women share these beliefs, but unfortunately, sometimes it’s overstretched.
We now have women who think it’s all about them and never about their husbands.
These women constantly put their needs above their husbands’.
Their husband may bend his back over to satisfy them, but they never return the favor.
They need someone to draw them close and whisper into their ears that although it’s about them, it’s never all about them.
Their husband is also human and deserves to have his needs met too.
This is something good wives never do: make it all about themselves.
They understand that while self-care is important, it needs to be balanced to ensure mutual care and consideration.
8. Fail to express themselves
Some people think that part of being a good wife is keeping things to yourself, not communicating, and keeping quiet even when things are not fine.
That is such a lie.
The contrary is the truth.
Being a good wife requires proper communication.
That is why good wives never fail to express themselves.
They’re honest about their feelings and opinions to their husbands.
When they’re having it good, they say it and appreciate their husbands.
And when they’re not comfortable with something, they also speak.
They don’t nag or complain unnecessarily but they talk.
They know that failing to express themselves and bottling up their feelings can lead to resentment and unhealthy feelings.
My dad would always humorously say, “A closed mouth is a smelly mouth,” which means that when you keep quiet about things all the time, unpleasant things build up.
9. Act irresponsibly
Irresponsibility is not one of the traits of good wives.
They never give up their responsibility in their home expecting someone else to take over it.
They understand that it’s a partnership when it comes to household chores and responsibilities.
So they don’t ignore their responsibilities or expect their partner to handle everything.
Good wives actively contribute to household duties, recognizing that a partnership involves a division of labor.
10. Being overly critical or judgmental
You see that thing that some women do where they have an issue with everything and anything their husbands do?
Good wives don’t do it.
They avoid constant criticism or judgment of their partner’s actions or choices.
One thing about life is that if you’re always seeking something to complain about, you’ll always find it.
The perfect husband doesn’t exist.
There will always be something he doesn’t do perfectly and times when he makes mistakes.
Maybe he’s not as hygienic as you are, doesn’t cook well, messes up the kitchen after cooking, or doesn’t know how to choose the right flowers for you yet.
But good wives understand that they aren’t perfect so they’re not quick to criticize or judge.
They focus on offering constructive feedback and support instead.
11. Lie
Dishonesty is unattractive and unpleasant in every context in which it occurs.
But in marriage, it’s even worse.
Dishonesty and deceit can have terrible effects on couples’ trust in each other, which can be very dangerous for the marriage.
Good wives never deceive their husbands because they cherish trust.
They stay truthful and transparent with their husbands because they know that that is a requirement for a healthy marriage.
12. Letting external influences negatively impact their marriage
One thing about being influenced is that if you’re not intentional about what you allow to influence you, anything will influence you.
People’s marriages are influenced by different external factors such as friends or family members’ opinions or societal expectations.
Good wives never let this happen to them.
They prioritize the strength and stability of their marriage over external influences.
If the influence is good and will promote the health of the marriage, they embrace it, but if it’s negative, they do away with it.
13. Being overly dependent or overly independent
Good wives do not carry all the burden on their own, they understand that they’re married and relish the companionship, support, and enjoyment that comes with having a husband.
But they also don’t put all of their weight on their husbands and forget how to stand on their own.
They strike a balance between independence and interdependence.
It’s the best way to live: exploring and enjoying the benefits accrued to you and nurturing a strong partnership with your husband while maintaining your individuality and strength.
Being overly dependent or overly independent both have terrible effects so good wives avoid them both.
They want to build a healthy and beautiful marriage that is fulfilling for them and their husbands.
So they avoid habits that can sabotage this goal of theirs.