“To give somebody your time is the biggest gift you can give.” — Franka Potente
One of the biggest gifts a man can give his wife is his time and attention.
This gift may not seem to have monetary value, but it can make you feel like you are the only woman in the world.
Such depth of attention is what keeps a marriage going strongly.
Unfortunately, many couples are only this way with each other in the early days of their marriage.
As the years roll by, some start to let themselves go, in what Nigerians call “see finish.”
Are you feeling lonely and neglected in your marriage?
Do you wish your husband would pay more attention to you and show you some love and affection?
Do you feel like you are pleading for love?
If you answered yes, then you are not alone.
Many other women struggle with feeling invisible and unappreciated by their husbands, especially after years of being together, but don’t despair; there is hope!
In this article, I will share some tips on getting your husband’s attention without begging or nagging.
You will learn how to reignite the spark in your relationship and make him fall in love with you again.
Whether you want to spice up your love life, have more meaningful conversations, or enjoy each other’s company, this post is for you.
Let’s go!
Tired Of Begging For Attention From Your Husband?- 6 Smart Things To Do Instead
1. Be vulnerable
If you are feeling neglected in your marriage, the chances are your husband also feels the same way.
This is especially true if your marriage used to be full of love before the sudden change that has you begging for attention.
So, why is he not making an effort if he feels the same way?
People say women are complex while men are simple.
This really isn’t true because men are sometimes complex, too.
Sometimes, your husband also feels like he isn’t getting the attention he deserves in the house, but instead of speaking up, he may clam up and shut down his emotions.
This results in a noticeable absence of affection and attention in the marriage.
If nothing is done to stop this, this vicious cycle will continue until it wrecks the relationship.
What do you do in this situation?
Take the initiative and be vulnerable with your husband.
When you begin to prioritize his needs, he will be more likely to notice the change and make the necessary adjustments.
If you used to ask him about his day and listen to him attentively, start doing it all over again.
Show him you care about him, and he will reciprocate the gesture in time.
2. Work on your self-esteem
Dealing with a husband who doesn’t give you attention is difficult, and most of the time, it takes its toll on your self-esteem.
You may begin to feel worthless and insecure.
These are terrible feelings to have, especially when they make you dependent on the validation of a husband who doesn’t give you attention.
Begging for attention in your marriage is a sign that you are beginning to feel insecure in the relationship.
The best way to handle this is to build your confidence.
The first step to building your confidence is realizing that you shouldn’t be begging for your husband’s attention.
You are deserving of your husband’s loving attention and if he is withholding this, there must be something wrong.
It would be best to remind yourself that begging for attention doesn’t resolve what’s wrong.
Please take care of this issue from a position of strength and calm, not from panic and neediness.
How do you get to this point?
Practice self-reassurance.
Remind yourself of your strengths and work on your weaknesses without allowing any feelings of inadequacy.
This is how you boost your self-esteem.
3. Practice honest communication
Note that I said “honest communication,” not begging or pleading.
You shouldn’t skip working on your self-esteem to carry out this part.
Your needs are also important in the marriage.
However, you can’t expect your husband to meet those needs if you fail to communicate them.
Marriage doesn’t translate into telepathic communication.
If you feel you need to get more attention in your marriage, keeping silent won’t help.
Neither would begging for attention.
Be clear and straightforward when discussing your needs with your husband.
Tell him exactly how you feel about the lack of attention.
Your husband will more likely respond to honest communication than you begging for attention.
4. Be empathetic
If your husband is not giving you attention, you may need to consider that other factors may be involved.
Instead of constantly begging for attention, try to view things from your husband’s perspective.
Perhaps he is going through a lot of pressure at work.
He may have inherited additional sets of responsibilities at work.
He may also be going through a difficult phase in his life.
The thing is, he may even know that he is giving you less attention than you deserve, but he may not have the capacity to do any better at that time.
Empathy in these situations will produce better results than constantly begging for attention or even fighting him over the lack of attention.
5. Focus on self-development
When your husband is not giving you enough attention, it is easy to become resentful.
It’s a natural reaction; however, you must resist the urge to resort to toxic methods to get his attention.
Nagging or gaslighting him won’t help you get the kind of attention you desire.
However, you can do something else in this case.
One of the best ways to deal with a situation that makes you feel neglected is to focus on developing yourself.
Spend more time reading, taking nature in, working out, and getting involved in your dream project.
The essence is to improve yourself instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself.
Doing this consistently will ensure that your husband starts seeing you as a gem he would rather not lose.
Once he realizes this, he will definitely begin to take steps to right his wrongs.
6. Spend quality time with him
You may feel like you are constantly begging your husband for attention, but maybe the actual truth is that nobody is making intentional plans to spend quality time together.
People think marriage is 50:50, but that’s not true; sometimes it is 30:70, 80:20, and in certain seasons, one person has to put in 70 or 80 percent to make things work.
If you and your husband have busy schedules, you may spend most of your time outside of each other’s presence, and even when you are together, you may be too busy focused on your own thing for it to be called quality time.
Quality time is not just time couples spend together; it is time they spend together, increasing the passion and bond in the relationship.
Try taking the initiative and planning a date.
It could be a picnic, a stroll in the park, a visit to the museum, a cinema date, or even a dinner date.
It could be a little time set apart for movie nights at home with your husband.
This activity helps build the general atmosphere of love and passion in the marriage.
Begging for attention doesn’t cut it, most of the time.
It may only make you look pathetic.
However, following the tips above will ensure your husband realizes how badly he has treated you and corrects his ways.
A successful marriage can only be sustained when couples learn to be intentional with everything, especially communication.
This reminds me of a quote by Sam Levenson.
I hope you experience that miracle in your marriage.