Marriage is beautiful.
It is a sacred bond between two people who vowed to love each other through good and bad times.
Some couples fulfill these vows because their marriage was built on love, trust, and mutual respect.
As sacred as the bond of marriage is, there are certain actions that can terribly affect and even sever this bond.
These actions may be called the “unforgivable sins” of marriage.
I am sure you are wondering why they are unforgivable since marriage is supposed to be a journey of love and forgiveness.
Well, the fact is that forgiveness is a personal thing and may vary from one individual to the other.
So, what somebody else considers forgivable may be something you can never forget.
However, even with individuals’ different capacities for forgiveness, certain transgressions are universally accepted as quite offensive and extremely difficult to forgive.
In this article, we will explore the various unforgivable sins of marriage and their possible effects on the relationship.
While those sins are considered unforgivable, we will also be including a list of things you can do to set yourself on the path of redemption if you have done any of them.
You should note that redemption doesn’t necessarily mean getting your marriage back.
It could just mean feeling whole and free from guilt…
Come along!
The 5 Unforgivable Sins Of Marriage
1. Infidelity
Trust is the cornerstone of any successful marriage.
Without it, any marriage will crumble.
And it is not so easy to trust someone the way marriage demands you do.
Trust is earned over time…
It is a culmination of years and months of being trustworthy.
However, all of these can be destroyed by one action.
One act of infidelity can erase all the trust that a partner may have built over the years.
When a partner cheats, the betrayal of trust hurts the most.
You feel like you were foolish for ever trusting them, especially if the cheating had gone on for some time before you found out.
It almost feels like your world is crumbling around you, and you cannot do anything to save it.
Infidelity destroys the foundation of a relationship.
It leaves the victim questioning every one of her decisions.
For most people, cheating is a deal breaker.
I agree with the sentiment because I know that if my wife cheats on me, I won’t be able to look at her the same way.
Most people find it hard to forgive infidelity in marriage.
However, there are certain exceptions for those who have forgiven their partners for infidelity and moved on with their relationships.
Some of them have been able to come back stronger than before.
The unforgivable sin of cheating can still be forgiven.
However, one thing is sure…
It can never be forgotten.
So, flee from every inappropriate interaction.
Infidelity usually starts from harmless flirting.
2. Abuse
Where I grew up, people didn’t see this as an unforgivable sin.
It was quite commonplace for husbands to not only verbally abuse their wives but also beat them.
In fact, some men actually used canes on their wives.
It may seem like I am focusing on men so much…
The fact is any gender can be abusive.
It’s just that where I come from, men do it more.
Regardless of how typical abusive behavior is, I consider it an unforgivable sin of marriage.
As far back as when I was a kid, I made a vow to deal with any man who laid their hands on my sister severely.
Thankfully, she is married to a wonderful man, so I don’t need to fulfill that vow.
Abuse in any form—physical, emotional, or verbal—is a grave violation of the marital vows.
How do you intentionally harm the person you vowed to love with even your very last breath?
It not only causes immediate harm but also leaves lasting scars that can be incredibly difficult to heal.
Abuse undermines your safety in a relationship, which is so sad.
You are supposed to feel secure when you think of your partner.
My advice to people who are facing abuse from their partners has never changed…
Leave that abusive marriage.
Prioritize your well-being because if you don’t, who will?
Leave that relationship on your own feet before your partner does irreparable damage to you.
3. Financial deception
I used to get angry when people talked about how vital finances are in a relationship.
In my romantic mind, finances didn’t need to be an issue when there was love.
I know better now.
Finances are an essential aspect of marriage.
When I speak about finances, I mean financial transparency.
Whether in abundance or debt, a marriage cannot work without financial transparency between partners.
However, whenever one partner engages in financial deception, it could lead to the end of the relationship.
I remember how a particular man in my area always told his wife he had no money on him.
He didn’t provide for his family because he claimed he had no money.
So, his wife struggled to provide for her children and even care for him.
She did all these without knowing that he had a lot of money stashed away and would sometimes go out to enjoy himself.
When she finally found out, it was a big deal.
She was so angry at him…
Even if she remained in the relationship just because of her children, their marriage was never the same after that.
The fact is that any form of financial deception in marriage can be an unforgivable sin.
Secret purchases, lying about income, and hiding debts are all examples of financial deception that can cost you your marriage.
You may be hiding debts to avoid hurting your partner…
Regardless of your noble intentions, you are wrong.
Anything that amounts to financial skulduggery in a marriage can lead to a breakdown in trust and financial stability.
If you do any of these and you are caught, your partner may feel betrayed and insecure.
This sense of betrayal and insecurity is usually hard to overcome…
Hence, there is a need to embrace financial transparency in your marriage.
4. Self-centered behavior
The beauty of marriage is in the selflessness it inspires in couples who are in love.
Human nature is basically selfish, but in marriage and parenthood, many couples learn to be selfless even when it goes against their natural instincts.
Unfortunately, not everyone learns when passing through the school of life.
Some people are still selfish even in their marriage.
They are only concerned about themselves.
So before doing anything, they always ensure it favors them the most.
Now, there is no problem with these if you also consider what is favorable to your partner.
While marriage doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prioritize your well-being, it also means you should be mindful of your partner’s well-being.
However, selfish people are only concerned about themselves.
They don’t really care about what happens to their partners.
They prioritize their pleasure above that of anyone else.
This is an unforgivable sin in marriage because self-centered behavior can cause many other issues in the marriage.
I think selfishness is why people cheat on their partners or attempt to deceive them.
If you genuinely care about anything else apart from your pleasure, you won’t cheat on your partner or do other hurtful things to them.
5. Emotional neglect
Emotional neglect should be discussed more because many people experience it and don’t even know it.
Emotional neglect is when your partner is very distant from you.
You start feeling like you are married to a stranger because you don’t know anything about them anymore.
Emotional neglect can be just as damaging as physical or verbal abuse.
If one partner consistently ignores the other’s emotional needs, this may lead to feelings of isolation and deep-seated resentment.
Over time, if this is not checked, it could cause a lot of conflicts in the relationship.
In fact, many people who have cheated on their partners in the past have claimed that they were dissatisfied and emotionally neglected by their partners.
Looking at it critically, you may notice that there is a link between these unforgivable sins, and committing one of them can lead to committing all the others.
While these actions are often seen as “unforgivable,” it’s important to remember that everyone has different capacities for forgiveness.
Some couples may find a way to rebuild and heal, while others may decide that parting ways is the best option.
If you have committed any of these unforgivable offenses and want to rebuild your relationship, here are some tips:
The first thing you need to do is to acknowledge the damage you have done.
Take responsibility for your actions.
If your partner’s neglect made you cheat, accept responsibility for your actions.
Don’t say, “I cheated because you ignored me.”
Let your partner decide if they had a role in your transgression.
Explore the options of marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling or therapy can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and work through your issues with the guidance of a professional.
Don’t expect rapid results.
Rebuilding trust always takes time.
However, you need to be consistent while you are at it.
You must demonstrate genuine remorse and a commitment to change, while your partner needs to be open to the possibility of forgiveness.
Improving communication is also crucial in this process.
Open and honest communication is essential for resolving conflicts and rebuilding the relationship.
While you are at it, you need to be patient.
Don’t expect big changes overnight.
Instead, celebrate your little wins as your partner takes tiny steps towards forgiving you.
The “unforgivable sins” of marriage are actions that cause deep and lasting harm to the relationship.
However, something extraordinary can come out of the ashes of your relationship if you and your partner are ready and determined to rebuild a relationship.
It won’t be easy…
But it’s possible.