Yes, I wrote Top #3 Mistakes Women Make in Marriage.
But this one I’m writing is particular to new wives.
Even though I’ve always known it and shared it somehow in blog posts or in my social media articles, I’m compelled to write a blog post about it today.
Because within a week, I saw how this mistake new wives make can tear families apart.
What’s this #1 mistake new wives make?
>>Acting like a superwoman and doing all the household chores alone.
Studies keep showing that women do most of the household chores despite working outside the home.
A study on sex roles revealed that unequal division of household chores leads to marital dissatisfaction in women, while this wasn’t so in men.
That means men do not consider household chores so much of a big deal.
I guess it’s because they are not (fully) involved in doing these household chores, so they don’t understand how it can make a woman unhappy.
Also, some men think that women have an inbuilt superpower that men don’t have to balance it all – career, marriage, kids, homemaking, social life, spiritual life, living healthy, looking good, and staying sane!
Women have always shouldered the bulk of household chores despite working to share the bills.
Even being a stay-at-home mom is still not a walk in the park.
So, the mistake you can make as a new wife is to give your husband the impression that you can do it all.
Why do some new wives do this?
- to prove that they’re indeed a wife material. They want to impress their new husbands.
- to show love. Some women express their love through serving their husbands, taking care of them.
- they can handle it. Some women are blessed with so great physical strength (I envy them 😘) to do so much.
- they believe it’s their role. Some women were raised to believe that putting the house in order is their sole responsibility, and that it’s a taboo for a man to do household chores.
But, months or years down the line, when responsibilities increase or kids start coming, the wife will not be able to handle it alone.
While some men are sensitive and considerate enough to know that they have to share household tasks, other men who are used to not lifting a pin in the house will not be able to understand why their superwomen wives cannot just continue in their might.
These wives end up being stressed, bitter, and unhappy.
And of course, an unhappy wife makes an unhappy marriage.
Happy wives make happy homes!
If you’re in a relationship, make sure you have the household chores discussion with your husband-to-be.
You need to know what his thoughts are regarding division of household chores.
It may shock you that some men still think it’s unmanly to do any household chore.
Also, make sure you don’t make the mistake of doing it all when you’re newly married.
Even if you’re blessed with physical strength, you’ll realize you can’t do it alone when kids start coming.
If you’re a wife who’s encumbered with lots of household chores and a husband who wouldn’t do household chores, then read my post on how to get him do household chores.