10 Things I Stopped Doing to Enjoy More Peace in My Life

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Enjoying happiness and peace in life isn’t always automatic, it comes with making decisions.

Decisions on what to do and what not to do; because life is all about decision making.

Self-examination is a practice we must all engage in from time to time if we want to improve our lives.

Through self-examination, I came to an understanding of the things I needed to quit doing in order to enjoy life the more.

Here are 10 things I stopped doing to enjoy more peace and freedom:

10 Things I Stopped Doing to Enjoy More Peace in My Life

1. Caring about what people say about me

I used to be so obsessed with people’s opinions of me and what they were saying behind me.

But at a point, I stopped caring, because opinions don’t pay my bills.

I’m glad I stopped caring about people’s opinions about my life before a rumor pedalled by an ex-friend reached me.

She said my marriage failed within three months of getting married.

Oh well, it’s more than three years of marital bliss with my DH.

What if I was still concerned about what people say about me?

These days, I. Don’t. Care.

People are going to talk anyway, and I don’t have the intention of changing their minds about me.

All my energy is devoted to my life’s progress in every aspect.

If you want to be at peace with yourself, you need to quit being obsessed with what people are saying about you, as long as your conscience is clear.

Even if you’ve done something wrong, make peace with yourself and the people that matter, and let others keep wagging their tongues.

As long as you’re at peace with yourself, all is well with your world.

Everyone’s opinion about you shouldn’t matter. 

Decide whose opinion matters in your life. 

For me, it’s the opinions of my immediate family, close friends and people I look to, that matter. 

Because I can’t please everyone. 

People only talk about relevant people. 

If you’re insignificant, they won’t talk about you. 

Also, if you’re going to be a significant person, you have to develop tough skin, just like celebrities. 

Do you know the kinds of fake news and gossips people share about them? 

Yet they keep going. 

I say to you, keep going, keep growing. 

Those who talk behind your back are exactly where they deserve to be—behind you! 

2. Comparing myself with others

Comparison is the thief of joy.

The temptation is always there to measure our progress by looking at other people’s lives.

This isn’t a healthy thing to do.

A lot of people feel underachieved because they don’t have what their mates have, not having a full understanding of what those ones are even battling with in their own lives.

I’ve stopped comparing myself with others because I saw the folly in it.

This is a habit I admire and learn in my DH.

He doesn’t ever compare himself with others, no matter the circumstances.

While you can learn from and be inspired by others, playing the comparison game will only put unnecessary pressure on you and steal your peace.

Life is a personal race. Run your race. 

3. Comparing my spouse/marriage

I’ve come to understand that every marriage is unique, and that there’s no perfect marriage or a perfect spouse.

You can never really tell what goes on behind closed doors in most homes.

So, I no longer compare my home with others.

I’ve learned to be content and also let my marriage grow at its own pace. 

4. Living on Facebook

Facebook is the social media platform where I’m most active.

I’ve built a loyal tribe there and I love and appreciate my friends/followers a lot.

I learn a lot from them as some of them are older than me.

However, I realize that spending too much time on Facebook makes me less productive in other areas.

So, I’ve learned to reduce the number of hours and even days I spend there.

I no longer live there like before because it’s time-consuming to make posts, reply to comments, like posts and all that.

In fact, I’ve cut down on my social media use, and outsourced some of my social media tasks to my virtual assistants. 

This gives me time to focus on other productive tasks that can only be performed by me. 

Social media is good but if we don’t manage our time properly, it’ll negatively impact on our productivity. 

One major disadvantage of social media is how it ruins one’s reading habit. 

When last did you read a book? 

You say you don’t have time but if you consider the number of hours you spend scrolling through social media, you’d realize time is not your problem.

5. I stopped being available to everyone

I’m privileged and honoured to be a source of wisdom, solution, and comfort to people.

I appreciate the fact that people turn to me for counsel and help.

However, it gets really overwhelming when I open my Messenger and I’m greeted by hundreds of messages.

I had to delete my Messenger app and tell people to reach me via email.

The messages I get reduced drastically and I’ve since enjoyed more peace.

I feel guilty when I see messages that I’m yet to reply to.

So, it’s better I don’t see them.

Anyone who desperately needs my attention will reach me via email.

6. Sweating the small stuff

I started enjoying more peace in my life when I realized that not everything deserves my reaction, especially in my marriage.

Before, I used to react to every little thing hubby did to offend me.

I’d ignore him and communication would become strained between us.

It got really draining for both of us.

I decided to grow up and choose my battles wisely.

If it’s not serious, I ignore it.

This has really improved my marriage and my life.

I no longer react to everything people do to me.

My peace is worth much more.

7. Snubbing my spouse

Before, I used to give my husband the silent treatment whenever I felt offended.

I could snub him for days.

A few months ago, hubby and I decided to reach an agreement on how to settle issues whenever they came up.

We both agreed to sit down and talk about whatever each of us had in mind.

It was one of the best decisions we’ve made in our marriage.

I no longer have to bottle up issues and lose my peace.

I’d rather call for a meeting and we talk things over.

8. Enduring toxic relationships

I value relationships/friendships because relationship is one of the keys to a successful life.

However, as one who has experienced betrayal from so-called friends, I’ve learnt to let go of any relationship that threatens my peace.

My peace is more important than any relationship/friendship.

So, I don’t hesitate to cut off any toxic person from my life.

9. Expecting too much from people

They say expectation is the mother of disappointment.

I used to expect too much from people especially if I expected the same from myself.

For instance, I don’t expect anyone to hurt me in ways I wouldn’t hurt them. I expect people to treat me the way I’d treat them.

But this isn’t always the case.

Humans will always be humans. Expecting too much from people will only lead to disappointments.

So, I’ve learnt not to expect too much from others.

10. Being hard on myself

I used to be hard on myself. I expected too much from myself, and usually found it hard to forgive myself whenever I did a wrong.

I’ve learnt that being easy on myself and not holding on to past mistakes is a way to practise self-love.

I now enjoy more peace and freedom when I accepted that I’m human, and it’s normal to make mistakes.

In summary, these are the ten things I stopped doing to enjoy more peace in my life:

1. Caring about what people say about me

2. Comparing myself with others

3. Comparing my spouse/marriage

4. Living on Facebook

5. I stopped being available to everyone

6. Sweating the small stuff

7. Snubbing my spouse

8. Enduring toxic relationships

9. Expecting too much from people

10. Being hard on myself

What do you think you need to stop doing to enjoy more peace in your life?

 

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