Your sex life can make or break your marriage.
Being a smart wife is knowing that what happens in the bedroom affects what happens everywhere else.
And that sexual satisfaction or lack thereof bleeds into every other area of marriage.
That’s why there are certain things smart wives never do in bed because they’re too smart to sabotage their own marriages.
Let me tell you what they are:
7 Things Smart Wives Never Do in Bed (That Destroy Marriages)
1. Fake The Big O
You cannot, and I mean cannot, fake orgasms for five years and then be mad that your husband doesn’t know how to satisfy you.
Sis, you taught him the wrong things!
Every time you faked it, you were basically giving him a gold star for techniques that don’t work.
You trained him incorrectly, and now you’re upset that he’s doing exactly what you told him was working?
Make it make sense.
I get it, you didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
You wanted him to feel like a man, or just wanted it to be over so you could go to sleep.
But now you’re years into a marriage where he thinks he’s doing great and you’re secretly resentful because you haven’t had a real O since 2019.
Smart wives don’t do this.
They understand that faking it is lying, and you can’t build a good sex life on lies.
2. Use Sex as a Weapon Or Withhold It as Punishment
Some wives withhold sex when they’re upset.
No sex because she’s punishing him for whatever he did wrong, and until he apologizes, no show.
Smart wives don’t do this because weaponizing sex destroys intimacy.
Sex should be a connection between you two, a place where you’re vulnerable and close, even when life is messy.
The moment you turn it into a bargaining chip or a punishment tool, you’ve corrupted it.
And here’s what happens: he stops pursuing you.
Because why would he pursue someone who’s using his desire against him?
3. Turn Into a Starfish
You know what a starfish is in bed?
Just lying there, not moving, not participating, not making any noise.
Just existing while he does all the work.
And then some wives have the audacity to complain that their husbands aren’t initiating anymore.
Girl.
Would you want to be physically intimate with someone who acts like they’re doing you a favor by allowing you access to their body?
Sex is supposed to be mutual, meaning both people are participating and contributing to the experience.
Because if you’re bored in bed, he’s bored too.
So, don’t be surprised when he stops trying.
4. Neglect Their Own Appearance
Okay, this one’s going to ruffle feathers, but we’re being honest here.
You cannot go from taking care of yourself when you were dating to completely letting yourself go after marriage, and then be shocked when the attraction fades.
I’m not talking about aging or about your body changing after kids.
After carrying two heavy pregnancies, I know what pregnancy and hormones, even from contraceptives, can do to a woman’s body.
I’m talking about just stopping all effort.
Never dressing up anymore, not doing anything to feel attractive, living in the same raggedy nightgown for three years.
And then wondering why the spark is gone.
Attraction requires some effort, not obsessive effort or Instagram model effort.
Just effort.
When you feel good about yourself, your husband finds you more attractive too.
So, it’s not about looking like you did at 25.
It’s about not completely abandoning all effort and then blaming him for noticing.
If your husband is demanding you look like a supermodel while he’s walking around looking like he gave up on life, that’s different.
That’s hypocrisy.
But if you’re both letting yourselves go and wondering why there’s no passion?
Come on now.
Put on something that makes you feel sexy, not for him.
For you.
And watch what happens.
5. Compare Their Husband’s Performance to Anything
Your husband is not a romance novel hero, a movie star, the guy from that steamy book you read, heck, he’s not your ex!
He’s a real human man who has a job and responsibilities and is probably tired too.
Smart wives don’t compare.
They don’t sigh wistfully about fictional characters or mention what their ex used to do.
Because comparison kills attraction, for both of you.
He’s probably not comparing you to anyone.
He’s probably just happy to be physically intimate with his wife.
So extend him the same courtesy.
6. Neglect Intimacy
Some wives are so busy with kids, work, hobbies, life, friends, and family that sex becomes this thing that happens maybe once a month if they remember.
And they genuinely don’t see the problem.
“We’re married and committed. Why does sex even matter that much?”
Let me tell you why: because physical intimacy maintains emotional connection.
When you stop being intimate with your husband, you stop being close to your husband.
Sex isn’t just physical; it’s vulnerability, a way of saying “I choose you” without words.
And when you neglect it for months at a time, don’t be surprised when he becomes distant.
Smart wives prioritize intimacy even when it would be easier to just go to sleep.
Not every time, of course.
Not when they’re genuinely exhausted or unwell, but regularly.
You can’t neglect your sex life and expect your marriage to stay strong.
It doesn’t work that way.
7. Forget That He Married a Woman, Not a Roommate
This is the big one that encompasses everything else.
Some women get married and slowly transform from “wife” to “roommate who shares expenses and raises kids together.”
The romance and passion die, and they don’t even notice until it’s too late.
Smart wives remember that they’re not just co-parenting partners or household managers.
They’re WIVES.
Which means maintaining the romantic and sexual aspect of the relationship even when life gets crazy.
That’s why they flirt with their husbands, initiate, dress up sometimes, all to keep the spark alive.
Your husband married you because he wanted you, the whole package, including the intimate parts.
Don’t let marriage turn you into someone who forgets that.
Your sex life matters.
Not because sex is everything, but because it’s connected to everything.
Smart wives are not perfect wives, but they’re smart enough to know that a good sex life contributes to a good marriage.
And a bad sex life will destroy even the strongest marriage eventually.
So be smart.
Your marriage will thank you.
So will your husband.