Cheating is one topic that will never stop shaking tables.
Everybody has an opinion.
“Men are polygamous by nature,”
“Women push men to cheat,”
“It’s just temptation,”
And of course, ”It’s the devil.”
I wanted to write ”innocent devil, but there’s nothing innocent about the devil. lol
So, the excuses are endless.
No man just randomly trips and falls into a mistress’s arms.
There’s always a reason.
And if you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably seen some of these men before:
7 Types Of Men Who Have Mistresses
1. The “Polygamous by Nature” Guy
You’ve heard them before, “Men are polygamous in nature.” 🙄
This type of man took that statement like it was a personal calling from heaven.
One woman is never enough for him.
He could be single, dating, engaged, or married; it doesn’t matter.
He must have “options.”
In fact, his wife could be the best thing since jollof rice at a Nigerian wedding, but still, she’ll never be enough for him.
It’s never about the wife; it’s all him.
And when you question him, he’ll give you all sorts of lectures: biology, culture, religion, even proverbs your ancestors never said.
All to justify his lack of self-control.
2. Men in Unhappy Marriages
For real though, some men are miserable in their marriages, so I won’t paint every woman as an angel.
Some wives are a pain in the behind.
I know marriage is not always rosy, and women get frustrated too.
But when a man feels like his home is a battlefield, he’ll start dreading going back there.
And when a man starts avoiding home, another woman is always waiting to offer peace.
She’ll listen, pamper him, stroke his ego, and before you know it, she has become his escape route.
So, most times, it’s not even about love; it’s about relief.
He just wants somewhere that doesn’t stress him.
Still, running into another woman’s arms doesn’t solve the unhappiness.
It just adds more chaos to the mess.
3. Men in loveless marriages
”Women want love; men want respect.”
We’ve heard that line so many times.
But men want love too.
Even the strongest man wants to be loved and cared for.
So imagine being stuck in a marriage where the love has dried up.
No hugs, no affection, no spark, no romance, no friendship..
Just two people managing each other like flat roommates.
And he meets another woman who smiles, gives him attention, laughs at his dry jokes, and what he’s been starved of at home.
Before you know it, he’s knee-deep in a situation he calls “love,” but really it’s just filling the vacuum from home.
Truth is, most of these men didn’t set out to cheat.
But when love leaves a marriage and nobody tries to revive it, the temptation outside becomes irresistible.
Well, still a lazy solution, if you ask me.
4. Men who need children
Growing up, I heard many stories of men who couldn’t have children with their wives.
Then years later, when the man died, another woman and her “hidden children” suddenly showed up at the burial.
Drama everywhere.
Yam pepper scatter scatter.
Families scattering.
Wives shocked out of their minds.
That’s because some men equate manhood with fatherhood.
If kids don’t come quickly in the marriage, they panic.
Even if doctors say both husband and wife are fine, he starts side-eyeing his wife like she’s the problem.
And instead of patience or faith, he goes out to try his luck with another woman to prove he can father a child.
It’s all about ego and validation.
#LetmeshowthemI’mstillaman
This mindset has destroyed countless marriages.
Because when those other children surface years later, it doesn’t just expose infidelity; it shatters trust, legacy, and family bonds.
Children are a blessing, not proof of manhood.
But this type of man doesn’t see it that way.
His obsession with being called “Daddy” makes him risk everything, including his marriage.
5. Men who lack self-discipline
It takes a high level of discipline to remain faithful to one woman in a world where many women are throwing themselves at men, whether subtly or boldly.
No matter how pretty, smart, or loving your wife is, there will always be another woman who seems better at something.
A disciplined man will clock it for what it is—a distraction.
He’ll remember that nobody is perfect and that the same woman he’s eyeing also has her own flaws waiting to show up.
He’ll stay grounded and keep building with his wife.
But the man without discipline is in trouble.
He’ll keep chasing shiny new toys like a child in a candy store.
Always restless, never content, always convinced the grass is greener on the other side.
That’s how he ends up juggling mistresses, lying to cover tracks, and living in constant guilt.
All because he couldn’t tell himself “no.”
Discipline is what separates a faithful husband from a wandering one.
Without it, temptation will always win.
6. Peer pressure guy
I don’t know where you were raised, but I grew up in Africa, and some of the sayings we heard growing up were:
“Show me your friend, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
”Birds of a feather flock together.”
“Evil communication corrupts good manners”… that one is even in the Bible.
“A dog that associates with a pig will eat sh*t.”
Some men cheat simply because of the company they keep.
Their friends brag about side chicks, tell wild cheating stories, and make it sound like fun, and our Mr. Peer Pressure feels left out.
He doesn’t want to be the boring one, so he joins the nonsense to feel among.
He starts small, laughing at the gist, listening, then trying one harmless flirt here and there.
Soon, he too has stories to share with the boys.
He’s not cheating because he was unhappy or unloved; he’s cheating because he couldn’t stand being the odd one out.
It’s sad because a man can have a solid wife and a happy home, but the wrong crowd will scatter everything.
Peer pressure doesn’t end in secondary school; some husbands are still carrying it into marriage.
If your friends are cheating and you keep hanging out with them, don’t be surprised when you start eating from the same pot of trouble.
7. Men who are sexually starved in their marriages
I’m tempted to feel sorry for this guy because… I mean, imagine being denied one of the greatest pleasures God has packaged inside marriage.
Sex is supposed to be enjoyed, not rationed like fuel in scarcity.
In all fairness, sometimes there are genuine reasons.
Health issues, stress, kids, exhaustion, like life can get in the way.
But other times, it’s not about health at all.
Some women literally weaponize sex like, “No money, no action.”
Or they use it as punishment.
“Since you annoyed me yesterday, forget it tonight.”
This leaves the man frustrated and vulnerable, and when he sees another woman out there ready to give him exactly what he’s missing, he finds himself tangled with a mistress.
Of course, cheating is never the answer.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But let’s not pretend it isn’t one of the reasons some men start keeping mistresses.
Cheating is not about opportunity; it’s about choice.
Every single one of these men had a choice.
And sadly, they chose betrayal.
Plenty of men face these same struggles and still remain faithful.
They talk, they work it out, they fight for their marriages instead of running outside.
A mistress is not therapy.
She’s not medicine.
She’s just an escape that will eventually cost you more than the problem you were trying to avoid.
So if you’re reading this as a woman, don’t beat yourself up thinking your husband’s cheating is always about you.
Most times, it’s not.
It’s about him, his choices, and his inability to handle life without running away.
And if you’re a man reading this, here’s the truth: no excuse will ever make cheating less damaging.
You either deal with your issues at home or you create bigger ones outside.
Simple.
Mistresses don’t fall from the sky.
They are invited.