During the honeymoon phase and a while beyond, it is typical for married couples to share uncountable affectionate and passionate kisses, which indicates that they can’t seem to have enough of each other.
However, many times, it appears the longer the marriage gets, the less frequent and less intense the kisses get.
Who said kisses were meant only for the early days of marriage or for movie scenes alone?
Kissing is an integral part of romance in a marriage and, as such, should not be allowed to become a habit of the past.
You may wonder what happens when married couples quit kissing and if kissing is that important in a marriage.
These are some likely unpalatable developments in a ‘kissless’ marriage.
What Happens When Married Couples Stop Kissing?
1. They become emotionally disconnected
When a couple abandons the days of lips locking, they gradually let in the days of locked emotions towards each other.
Lack of kissing creates an emotional gap between the two, and they may not even realize this early.
They live together, but there is a distance wedged between them.
Lack of kissing may gradually sever their bond and reduce their chances of sustaining a healthy romantic relationship.
2. Transferred aggression or anger issues
Kissing is known to ease temper and stress.
When you are having a rough day, and things seem to get on your nerve, a kiss from your spouse could do a great wonder to calm your nerves and help you overcome the feeling.
It reminds you that if it appears like all is going wrong, at least you got one thing right- a good life partner beside you in all circumstances.
How does that sound mushy, right? Haha.
The more your partner kisses you, the more you realise that you are in their thoughts.
3. Lack of kissing contributes to trust issues
A partner who desires to be kissed but isn’t getting any may begin to doubt the other’s commitment to them.
They may feel unwanted and get ideas that they are probably kissing someone else.
Trust is earned through our actions towards our spouses.
If these actions stop, especially with no understandable reason, doubt and questions begin to set in.
4. The marriage becomes boring
Kissing is fun.
The spontaneity and intensity can work positively to turn around a foul mood.
If you wonder why it feels like your marriage is no longer exciting, it could be because you stopped kissing each other.
How is it that when we watch movies and see fictitious couples express their love for each other through kissing, we consider such scenes exciting but do not realise how the lack of kissing makes us miss out in our marriages?
Try kissing more and watch romance get more steamy in your marriage.
5. It could cause low self-confidence
Even if it is subtly, our spouses’ love and affection towards us contribute to our confidence in ourselves.
For a partner who desires to be kissed but whose desire is not being fulfilled by their spouse, this may impact their confidence.
They could begin to believe that there is something wrong with them.
They could find themselves staring at themselves in the mirror, wondering if something is wrong with their dentition or something.
It is unfair for someone who is big on kissing to be stuck with someone who does not count it as a major thing in marriage.
There just has to be a compromise that will work for both parties.
6. It affects the communication flow
Kissing is capable of unlocking bottled-up feelings and thoughts.
A passionate kiss could be an icebreaker that could precipitate a deferred conversation between couples.
Some conversations can be difficult and sensitive in marriage, but they must happen.
Therefore, because of how sensitive some conversations might be, one has to look for the perfect time and occasion to bring them up.
What better time can such happen than after a good kiss?
If, for instance, you have been meaning to address an offense by your partner, but you do not want to be misunderstood or come across as critical, it could be easier to have such conversations in a cozy moment during which you have initiated plenty kisses and shown more than enough affection.
This way, your partner will likely warmly receive your point of view and see that it comes from a place of love.
This and much more magic can be achieved thanks to kissing.
The fewer the kisses, the more uptight communication flow may get between couples.
7. It could lead to a lack of sexual intimacy
Whatever issues are capable of causing a total lack of kissing could also cause a lack of sexual intimacy altogether.
If the right actions are not taken, such couples may continue cohabitating as roommates without even thinking much of it.
This is why the issues have to be addressed early enough before they begin to lose sexual appeal for each other.
Kissing is one of the ways of engaging in foreplay; the more they happen, the more sexually intimate a couple may be.
A sexless marriage does not suddenly come to be.
It is, more often than not, a result of not making a stitch in time to save nine.
One of the signs of a dead marriage is a lack of sexual intimacy.
You do not want to find yourself at this point by ignoring the seemingly little things.
LAST THOUGHTS
If you have stopped kissing in your marriage, the break could even be a good thing.
Resuming should get more exciting and help you get nostalgic about the days of plenty and passionate kisses in your marriage.
It is not late to resume kissing your spouse. Ask to be kissed by initiating it.
Have a conversation around the topic so that you and your partner are on the same page.
Address the issues that eliminated kissing from your marriage and make amends.
Restore the spark and passion.
Learn how to kiss your partner the way they want to be kissed, just in case the style of kissing was an inhibiting factor.
True love does not lose its flavour.
It may be common for couples in a long marriage to stop kissing, but it does not make it normal.
True love ages like fine wine; it keeps getting better and better.
Good habits that made the union admirable to all at the beginning should not be ditched if a healthy union is to be sustained.
Carolyn
Wednesday 20th of November 2024
I've been in this relationship for 48yrs.He cheated 10yrs ago and our oldest daughter died right after. Nothing has been resolved. He never said he was sorry till I told him.I dont want this man anymore. He retired military and he knows what he has to pay me and he has torn up 3 divorce papers and been mean to my female lawyer.He has been coached on what to do and is hiding money. I am financially not able to pay my way on my own,I am physically not able to keep dealing with this man anymore.We have not shared a bed together in 45yrs. Their is no Intimacy. HELP!!!!
Khomotso
Monday 4th of November 2024
1.Long distance relationships
2. Stress
3. Mourn