Even the yummiest of couples have their rough moments.
They may not see eye to eye on some issues, and if the disagreement is not properly managed, they may throw words at each other in a feat of anger.
However, no matter how angry they may get, some lines should never be crossed.
Some words should never be uttered by your partner to you, especially if the relationship still matters to them.
Words are powerful! Once negative words are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.
We have to choose them carefully.
Partners should treat each other with respect and kindness and never resort to insults or put-downs when having misunderstandings.
That would certainly create a toxic and damaging dynamic in the relationship.
You need to be self-aware enough to know what is healthy to tolerate in a relationship and what your partner is never allowed to say to you.
In essence, if these words are said to you, they should make you rethink your choice to be with them.
14 Things Your Partner Should Never Say To You
1. You are just like my ex
This is not done!
Your partner is not allowed to compare you with their ex or any other person.
It’s not only inappropriate for them to bring up the name of their ex during an argument.
It is also disrespectful to you.
If they do this and you express your displeasure about it but do not stop, you may need to ask yourself if you can cope with such comparisons in the future.
If your answer is no, you should rethink the relationship as it appears they do not respect you or your feelings.
2. You are being too sensitive
The first person you expect to understand and respect your feelings should be your partner.
If your partner is fond of trivializing your concerns and making you feel like you are making a mountain out of a molehill when you are hurt, they are not being fair to you.
For instance, they insult you and say, “Why can’t you take a joke.”
That is a classic excuse for people who say hurtful things and don’t want to take responsibility for their words.
It’s called gaslighting – making you feel like you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.
But here’s the thing: It’s not okay for someone to say something hurtful and then turn around and make you feel like you’re in the wrong for being upset.
That’s manipulative, and it’s not fair. Just because someone says something jokingly doesn’t make it any less hurtful or disrespectful.
Here are a few things this utterance could mean:
– They may not be able to understand or empathize with your feelings fully.
– They may be trying to deflect responsibility for their actions or words.
– They may be dismissing your concerns instead of trying to understand them.
– They may be invalidating your emotions, which can be hurtful and dismissive.
In any case, telling someone they’re being “too sensitive” is not a constructive way to handle conflict or disagreement.
3. You are ill-luck
This is also one loaded comment!
That’s a pretty insensitive thing for your partner to say.
If your partner tells you that you brought bad luck their way, they might be deflecting responsibility for their struggles or problems onto you.
Also, they may be trying to make you feel responsible for things beyond your control and manipulate you into feeling guilty or at fault for something you had no part in.
Tolerating such comments from your partner is very unhealthy because they will gradually make you doubt yourself and your abilities.
4. I do not love you
Hearing your partner say they don’t love you can be incredibly painful.
There could be several reasons behind that statement.
They may be going through some personal struggles that are impacting their feelings.
They may also feel disconnected from you and unsure how to express that.
Whatever their reason, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who loves and cares about you.
If your partner has the audacity to tell you to your face that they do not love you, you should take their word for it.
Even if they do not mean it, the effect of such words on you will certainly linger.
5. Meeting you was a mistake
There’s no excuse for that type of comment; it shows a lack of respect and consideration for your feelings.
When your partner tells you they regret meeting you, they may be trying to hurt you or make you feel undeserving of them.
It is a manipulative behavior that is intended to make you give them power in the relationship.
Another possibility is that they are dealing with their insecurities and projecting them onto you.
They are probably feeling unsure of themselves or their worth, and they are taking it out on you by trying to deflect blame onto you for problems in the relationship and make you feel like a wrong choice for them.
With all this said, it is clear that your being called a mistake is pretty noxious and should not be tolerated.
6. You are not good enough
That’s another hurtful and unfair statement. “Good enough” is a subjective and flawed concept, and it’s unfair for anyone to judge another person’s worth.
The idea that someone isn’t “good enough” implies that there’s some standard that they’re not meeting.
It’s okay if they have their standards, but they should not shame you for not meeting them.
There’s a difference between personal standards and imposing those standards on others.
No one is perfect, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses.
No one has the right to judge someone based on their standards.
It’s okay for your partner to have preferences or values, but using those standards as a weapon against you is unacceptable.
You’re unique and valuable; someone else’s standards do not define your worth.
What they consider not good enough could be another’s indispensable treasure.
You deserve to be with someone who considers you as such.
7. You are out of your mind
Ouch!
That’s quite a rude and dismissive way to talk to one’s partner.
Again, it’s never okay for your partner to put you down like that.
If he does, he implies that your thoughts or opinions are irrational, which is a disrespectful way to treat someone, moreso a supposed lover.
8. You are worthless
Oh my goodness! That’s emotional and verbal abuse in one statement.
There is absolutely no reason for them to say that to you, and it’s insupportable.
Such a statement is meant to tear you down, hurt you, and make you question your worth.
You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness, and you do not deserve to be abused.
Some people simply cannot identify good things, and such costly blindness is not your fault.
9. You are always messing up
Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s never cool for your partner to blame you and put you down for them.
It sounds like they are putting you in a position to prove yourself constantly, and that’s not a healthy dynamic.
You deserve to be treated with kindness, and you deserve to be accepted for who you are, flaws and all.
If they intend to help you be a better person, they are going about it wrongly.
A comment like this may only succeed in affecting your confidence to do better.
10. I am not attracted to you
Physical attraction is only one aspect of a healthy relationship, howbeit not the most important one.
It’s concerning that they are making a statement like that, and it could be an indication that they are trying to manipulate you and make you feel bad about yourself.
Physical attraction can ebb and flow over time, but it should never be used as a weapon or a way to make someone feel bad about themselves.
It’s also worth noting that beauty is subjective, and everyone has preferences.
You are perfect just the way you are; you don’t need their validation to know that.
If they are truly unattracted to you, that doesn’t change the fact that they are being unkind.
Their attraction, or lack thereof, is not the focus here – what’s important is how they treat you.
Even if they are not attracted to you in the same way that they used to be, it’s not okay to use that as a way to hurt you or make you feel bad.
You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved and respected and don’t have to prove yourself or defend yourself against put-downs constantly.
11. You will never be successful without me
That’s a pretty manipulative statement, and they should never be allowed to say that to you.
It’s a tactic to control you and make you dependent on them.
The intention is to convince you that you’re incapable of being successful on your own, and that’s not true.
You are capable and valuable and don’t need anyone else to validate your success.
Your success is based on your hard work and abilities, not someone else’s approval. Don’t buy into that kind of talk – it’s not helpful or healthy.
12. I own you
That’s not just a red flag; it’s a whole parade of red flags.
That statement is a clear sign of a controlling and unhealthy dynamic.
No one owns you. You are not a pet. You are your own person and can choose and live your life.
Saying “I own you” is disrespectful and can also signify an abusive relationship.
Your partner should never use this kind of possessive language on you.
13. I will slap you
Your partner should never make such a statement to you.
That’s not a joke; that’s a threat.
If they frequently say it jokingly, chances are they will do it one day.
Physical violence is never acceptable in a relationship.
Threats like that are a huge red flag and should not be overlooked.
You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe and respected and can be yourself without fear of physical harm.
If they are making threats, that’s a sign that this relationship is unhealthy or unsafe for you.
14. No wonder your ex left you
Oh no! That’s a low blow.
Bringing up an ex to hurt you is not only mean, it’s also deeply disrespectful.
It’s not okay for someone to try to use your past relationships against you, and it’s definitely not okay for them to use your past as a weapon.
That’s not only cruel; it’s also a sign that your so-called partner doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
Relationships should be about building each other up, not tearing each other down.
LAST THOUGHTS
These statements cross a line and border on abusive behavior.
This should be your final takeaway: A loving and healthy relationship is built on respect, empathy, and kindness.
It’s not about tearing each other down but building each other up.
You deserve to be with someone who treats you with love and respect, not someone who makes you feel bad about yourself.
If your partner says things like this to you, it’s okay to question whether the relationship is truly serving you right.