Dealing with a guy who is confused about his feelings for you is not a fun experience.
It is characterized by that sinking feeling that comes with the realization that he doesn’t love you or like you enough to take things to the next level.
It is sad because, for most of us, a romantic relationship has no genuine meaning if it doesn’t have aims and plans for the next level.
It is excruciating when you have to move on from the relationship with a guy you truly love.
Some people may say moving on is better than spending time with a man who is so confused about his feelings for you and has no plans for the relationship.
However, this doesn’t dull the pain.
Sometimes, I see rants on Instagram and Twitter about ladies dating guys for ten years before realizing that they have wasted their time dating someone who doesn’t know his feelings, and I feel so sad.
Some even get engaged with a massive diamond ring only to be trapped in an endless relationship.
These ladies didn’t see the signs early enough.
Hence, they spent a considerable chunk of their lives waiting for their relationships to get to the next level, all to no avail.
This is why I have undertaken the task of sharing with you the various signs that will help you identify a man who is confused about his feelings for you.
Here we go!
8 Signs A Man Is Confused About His Feelings For You
1. He gets hot and cold frequently
This is one of the most important signs that indicates a man who is confused about his feelings for you.
He hardly knows how to behave around you.
Sometimes, he is so passionate about you that you feel like the only woman in the world.
The next minute, he has gone so cold that you probably feel like you took a trip out into the snow in just your underwear.
This rapid swing in how your man treats you may confuse you and make you feel like you are doing something wrong.
He treats you this way because he doesn’t want to go too deeply into the relationship with you.
The most frustrating part of being in this situation is that while he doesn’t want to commit fully to you, he also doesn’t want to leave you alone.
Hence, he keeps you hanging unto him with his inconsistent behavior.
Some guys may do this consciously to keep you hooked, but others genuinely have no conscious idea of what they are doing.
This doesn’t excuse how much of their confusion becomes your own by this act, though!
2. He is never vulnerable with you
If a guy is always so put together and composed when he is with you, he probably doesn’t think the relationship is serious.
Society may have handed out various gender roles, and stereotypes about masculinity may say that real men do not show vulnerability.
Still, the truth is that a man who truly loves you learns to be vulnerable with you.
A man who is confused about his feelings for you is mainly always preoccupied by this confusion that he isn’t able to bring himself to be vulnerable with you.
For this sort of guy, the highest form of vulnerability he will show you is honestly telling you he is confused about his feelings for you.
A man’s reluctance or inability to commit is always reflected in his reluctance to share his most vulnerable parts with you.
So, if he’s not opening up to you, it could be a sign that he doesn’t see a future with you.
However, for some guys, this doesn’t mean that the relationship is not serious or important to him.
They may just be struggling to process his own emotions and fears about commitment.
3. It is a situationship
Really, if you are in a situationship and you are wondering why the man is not ready to commit, it is laughable.
A situationship is basically a relationship that isn’t defined.
It probably started without anyone wooing the other, and perhaps sex is the only form of emotional attachment in the relationship.
If you started your relationship on this faulty foundation, the odds are your man doesn’t even know what he feels about you.
A friend of mine once had a situationship that lasted about two years with a girl he didn’t have any deep feelings for.
How it all started is a cloudy and involved tale, but what matters is that he and this lady were entangled in an aimless relationship for two years.
It took them a while and a lot of soul-searching to realize that they were better off being friends than lovers.
That’s what they are now.
If you are in a situationship, you shouldn’t expect much from it because a man who truly knows his mind will define his relationship with you right from the start.
4. He pulls away a lot
All men have periods that they kind of pull away from their partners.
At least, that is what most women perceive it as.
The men simply take a step back and consider their relationship from an unbiased perspective.
However, this is different from what a confused man does to you.
When a confused man pulls away, he does it without any concern for your feelings.
In contemporary language, it is called “ghosting“.
A man who truly loves you doesn’t ghost on you.
If you are in a relationship with a man who is here today and tomorrow, he can’t be reached anywhere until he returns; you may need to start reconsidering your options.
When a guy regularly ghosts your messages and calls, it may just be a sign that he is struggling to accept his confused feelings for you.
5. He avoids speaking of the future
One sign that a guy loves you and is serious about the relationship is that he talks about the future and makes plans with you.
A man who is confused about his feelings for you prefers to dwell in the moment and may avoid any questions you ask about the future.
When a man is confused and reluctant to commit, he avoids discussing the future because he doesn’t see a future with you.
6. He disappears when you press for a commitment
Nothing scares a guy who is confused about his feelings for you than a demand for commitment.
Things could be going fine, but the moment you mention anything involving commitment, it seems like you tripped his trigger.
He may get defensive and accuse you of not trusting him.
He may even get angry and walk away.
When a guy reacts this way to commitments, it is a sign that he doesn’t know how he feels about you.
If he’s sure of what he feels for you, why would he react negatively or run away at the mention of commitment?
7. He avoids meeting your friends and family
When a guy takes that step of meeting your friends, especially your family, it may be a sign that he is serious about the relationship.
This is not always so, but most guys who want to meet your parents are serious about you.
When a guy is confused about his feelings for you, he may not want to get so involved in your life that he knows your friends and family.
He knows in his subconscious that he probably won’t stay in your life long enough to warrant the introductions.
Hence, he avoids any occasion that remotely brings him in contact with your family and friends.
8. He flirts and has roving eyes
Is he actively looking for attention from other attractive women?
Is he constantly checking out other women when he’s with you?
Does he try to sneak in a cheeky flirt with other women when you’re out together?
If he does all these, he probably hasn’t decided what he truly feels for you yet.
Flirting and checking out other women is a clear sign that he’s not completely invested in your relationship.
It shows that he’s still keeping his options open or trying to see if there’s someone else out there who might be a better fit for him.
No man who truly loves a woman and wants to be with her will risk losing her by flirting with other women.
Final Words
There you have it!
The above signs indicate a man who is confused about his feelings for you.
If you notice any of these signs in your man, you may need to consider your options and decide which is best for you: remain and press for a commitment, or move on.
I sincerely hope you choose what’s best for you.
Cheers to intentional relationships!