“He suddenly stopped talking to me!”
The abrupt halt of communication between lovers or intending lovers is referred to as ghosting.
It is often carried out for reasons best known to the perpetrator and done without any form of explanation or warning.
This brutal act of ghosting has terminated numerous promising relationships.
It is a rather cold and harsher alternative to being upfront and honest about your feelings and dealings in a relationship.
Whatever happened to holding a honest and heart to heart conversation where all is laid bare?
Ghosting is a twenty-first century term, but the actual act itself is as old as time.
The fact that it is popularly employed does not make it okay, right or fashionable in the truest sense.
Ghosting is a hurt party of one. It leaves the other person in the lurch and in the cold, dumbstruck and wondering what went wrong and what happened?
How is that fair or cool? It messes with the mind, self-esteem and self-confidence of the victims.
Most of us have been ghosted once or twice and in one way or the other. It happens to the best of us.
Nobody plans for it, wishes or prays for it, but still, it happens.
Before you start to investigate why he has stopped talking to you, there are certain factors to take into consideration.
These factors are:
- who ‘’he’’ is
Is he your boyfriend? A prospect? Your fiancé or your husband even?
Before you start to even realize why he has ghosted you, the first factor to keep in mind is what role he plays in your life.
It is easier to decipher the reason behind a ghosting when the role of the ‘’ghoster’’ is known and clearly defined.
Then, you can go ahead and ask ‘’My boyfriend has stopped talking to me, why?’’
Or ‘’A romantic interest has stopped talking to me, why?’’
See, the question is easier to answer from there.
- what kind of relationship is it
The relationship type determines your course of action.
The steps you would take to correct ghosting in a courtship would be entirely different from the ones you would in a budding friendship on the way to dating.
- what stage is the relationship
The length and depth of the relationship are other factors to consider.
What milestones, both minor and major have been marked.
The relationship stage determines the level of comfortability between both parties in the relationship.
This will further provide more insight into the problem.
When ghosting happens, the victim is left to guess the reasons behind it, especially if no major drama occurred prior to it.
It is sometimes hard to judge, decipher and ascertain why he has suddenly stopped talking to you without a direct confession from the perpetrator.
Bear in mind that each situation is unique to every pair of lovers, there is no one size fits all to every ghosting situation.
Individuals and circumstances are unique; therefore, every situation will be unique in itself.
There are several reasons why a guy will suddenly pull stops to communication with you.
If you have been ghosted, these could be some of the reasons.
”He Suddenly Stopped Talking to Me!”: Why
1. Nothing in common
One of the reasons he stopped talking to you might be that he realized that the two of you have nothing in common.
If this is true, it does not make you a terrible option, it just means that the two of you are not meant for each other.
It is often said that likes repel and opposites attract.
While that is true, it is also true that likes attract and opposites repel.
Most people would rather be with partners with whom they have much in common.
While it is not necessarily an offence to have preference for one’s like, it is an offence in the world of dating to relieve your previous option without an explanation.
Having nothing or little in common is a likely reason why he has ghosted you.
2. Too much in common
Just as not having enough in common causes the breakdown of relationships, having too much in common is just as guilty.
Some people prefer the spice in differences to the familiarity in commonness.
This, of course, is not a crime. All is fair in love.
It is not about the differences or the commonness, it is more about how they are handled.
They should be handled intelligently.
3. Prior drama
Sometimes, the most recent conflict that occurred just before a ghosting started is often the cause.
Most of the time, it is that simple, it is not that deep and the reasons are not farfetched.
Pending and previous arguments and disagreements can lead to ghosting.
4. Loss of interest
It is not unusual to lose interest in a relationship or prospective relationship. It happens.
When a man loses interest, he can resort to ghosting if he isn’t courageous enough to speak up.
Loss of interest says more about the guy in question.
Often, it has nothing to do with the lady; other times, it is initiated by the lady’s actions and attitude.
Several factors can cause, facilitate and also contribute to loss of interest.
5. Progressing too fast
When a relationship moves too fast or is moving too fast, most men can freak out and go numb.
The speed of a relationship can lead to ghosting.
If it has not been slow and steady, he might feel burdened by the demand to maintain and sustain the velocity of the relationship.
Quick progress can creep him out and make him ghost you.
6. Personal issues
In this case, it has nothing to do with you, the ghosted.
Life gets in the way sometimes.
Most men have personal, general and life issues to sort out, so much so that such issues snuff out any hope of romance and intimacy.
He just might need space to sort himself out.
Anxiety is another frequent cause of ghosting.
Men sometimes get nervous and apprehensive that they begin to doubt themselves and their capacity to cope with the relationship and its demands.
Anxiety can make a man suddenly stop talking to you.
8. Other options
Another likely cause of ghosting might be that he is entertaining other options.
Most times, men have more than one option in their hands, and they get lost in the considerations, like a kid in a candy store.
He might have seen or met someone else who has caught his fancy.
What To Do
As a lady, the wisest thing to do in a ghosting situation is to talk to the other party.
Those listed resasons above are, at best, guesses.
Don’t just sit and spin reasons in your head.
Don’t subject yourself to that kind of torture.
Get the truth and the actual fact directly from the source.
Doing so will give you closure and proper guidelines to help you plan your next line of action.
However, be smart enough to know if you are being lied to, Don’t ignore your instincts.
Once you have gained a correct and proper understanding of the situation, decide if you still want the relationship.
Be he your boyfriend, fiance or prospective lover, make up your mind if you still want to have anything to do with him.
Remember that it takes two to tango.
It is not enough for you to want the relationship, your partner has to want it as well.
Ensure that the both of you are on the same page as regards all areas.
Most importantly, make sure that the ghosting problem will not repeat itself.
Whatever your final decision is, be fully convinced of your safety and keep in mind that you are responsible for yourself and your emotions.
Monday 23rd of August 2021
I love to talk about issues though, so once I sense the coldness, I'd reach out.
The response would determine next phase.
I agree to all you said. At least, let me assess it first to avoid disappointment, to even ascertain if it's worth 'fighting for'. 😆
Tuesday 24th of August 2021
Lol. Right! Assessment and evaluation are essential to make an informed decision.