Therapy used to be something we whispered about like it was a shameful secret.
Now, it’s self-care.
And before you roll your eyes and say you are not crazy, therapy isn’t for crazy people.
It’s for tired people and strong women who are tired of being strong.
Life has a way of piling things on us until one day, you find yourself crying while making noodles, and even you can’t explain why.
As a Woman, Here Are 10 Signs You Need Therapy
1. You Cry Randomly but Say You’re Fine
You’re folding laundry and suddenly you are teary.
You’re watching a funny TikTok and boom, tears again.
Someone asks, “What’s wrong?” and you say, “Nothing.”
But something is wrong.
You’ve just buried it under a pile of “I’m fines.”
Crying for “no reason” is never really random because nobody cries for no reason.
It’s your body’s emergency exit for emotions that have been trapped for too long.
Therapy helps you trace the tears back to their source.
You realize that the tears are messages from your inner self that you’ve been holding too much for too long.
2. You’re Always “Okay”, Even When You’re Not
If your default answer to “How are you?” is “I’m fine,” even when your world is burning, congratulations, you’re emotionally exhausted.
You’ve learned to pretend because breaking down is not an option.
You can’t afford to “lose it,” because people depend on you….the kids, your spouse, your boss, your church.
Pretending to be okay is not the same as being OK.
Even your phone crashes when too many apps are open, so why do you think your soul won’t?
Therapy doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’re wise enough to know you can’t heal what you keep hiding.
3. You Snap Over Small Things
As a psychology undergraduate, I learned about something called “incongruent affect.”
It basically means your reaction doesn’t match the situation.
Like, someone forgets to close the door, and you act like they burned down your house.
Or your partner chews too loudly and you’re ready to file for divorce.
It sounds dramatic, but it’s not always about what just happened; it’s about everything else that has been happening.
Snapping over small things is a sign that your emotional tank is overflowing.
You’ve been keeping it together for too long and suppressing so much that now your reactions don’t fit the moment anymore.
Therapy helps you realize that the issue isn’t what just happened, it’s the mountain of unprocessed emotions behind it.
4. You Don’t Know What Makes You Happy Anymore
I know what makes me happy.
Writing and reading make me happy.
Having money to spend makes me happy.
Watching my favorite series, such as The Rookie, after work makes me happy.
Spending time with my husband and children makes me happy.
Good food makes me happy.
Having a steady and intimate relationship with God makes me happy.
I can go on and on…
What about you?
Do you know what makes you happy anymore?
Maybe once upon a time, you loved dancing in front of the mirror, reading books, going on walks, listening to music, baking….
Now, you’re just existing.
Wake up. Work. Cook. Clean. Sleep. Repeat.
If someone asked you, “What genuinely makes you happy?” you’d probably freeze.
You’ve been taking care of everyone else so much that you forgot what joy feels like in your own hands.
Therapy helps you find your way back to yourself — not the mom, not the wife, not the employee — but you.
5. You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Relationships
If you keep meeting the same man in different bodies — emotionally unavailable, cheaters, narcissistic, controlling, lazy — therapy is calling your name.
Because girl, there’s a pattern.
And the thing about patterns is: they repeat until you learn the lesson.
It’s not always about them.
Sometimes it’s about what inside you feels familiar with dysfunction.
Therapy won’t blame you; it’ll teach you how to choose better because you’ve finally healed what kept drawing you to pain.
6. You Don’t Trust Peace
When you finally get a break, you can’t relax.
You start getting anxious and worried that something bad is about to happen because “Why is everything so calm?”
Your nervous system has gotten so used to stress that peace feels unsafe.
If you don’t think this is a reason for therapy, then you need therapy for thinking this is not a reason for therapy.
7. You’re Overly Independent
I might need therapy for this one myself.
Because if there were a degree for “hyperindependent women,” I’d have graduated summa cum laude. 😩
Hyperindependence is what happens when you’ve been let down too many times.
When depending on people has backfired so often that you start believing it’s safer to do everything alone.
So you build walls so high nobody can ever hurt you again… but also, nobody can love you properly either.
Through therapy, you can learn how to trust help again and accept softness without feeling weak.
Because being the strong one all the time isn’t sustainable.
You’ll crash.
8. You Feel Guilty for Resting
You can’t sit down to rest without feeling guilty.
This is hustle trauma.
We’ve been conditioned to equate rest with laziness.
Even God rested on the seventh day.
So what makes you think you shouldn’t?
Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity.
You don’t have to earn it by running yourself to the ground first.
9. You Overshare or You Don’t Share at All
You either tell everyone everything, or you tell no one anything.
Both are defense mechanisms.
Oversharing is a way to connect before people can reject you.
Silence is a way to protect yourself from ever being hurt again.
A therapist becomes your middle ground; someone you can be raw and real with, no filters, no pretending.
Really, therapy is sometimes just paying someone to listen without interrupting you with, “At least…” 😂
10. You Feel Numb
You don’t feel joy.
You don’t feel sadness.
You don’t even get angry.
You just exist.
You wake up, do the same things, talk to the same people, post the same memes, smile in the same selfies, but nothing touches you deeply anymore.
That’s emotional shutdown.
Your body got tired of feeling everything, so it decided to feel nothing.
Numbness isn’t peace; it’s your heart in survival mode.
Therapy helps you thaw that frozen heart gently.
It reminds you how to feel again, safely and slowly.
Therapy is not about fixing yourself; it’s about finding yourself again.
You service your car so it doesn’t break down, and deep-condition your hair when it’s breaking.
So why do you ignore the signs your mind is giving you?
You can pray and go to therapy.
You can journal and still go to therapy.
Faith and therapy aren’t rivals; they’re teammates.
Sometimes, you don’t just need deliverance; you need dialogue.
So take this as your sign.
Book that session.
Cry, talk, heal, breathe.
Because you can’t pour from an empty cup.