Not all cheaters look the same.
Some are charming.
Some are quiet, and some look like the last person who would ever cheat.
But if you pay attention, there are common traits that show up again and again in people who cheat.
I’m not talking about astrology signs or whether they’re introverts or extroverts.
I’m talking about character traits.
Behavioral patterns and ways of thinking and operating that make cheating not just possible for them, but almost inevitable.
Cheating isn’t usually a random accident.
It’s the culmination of how someone thinks, what they value, and who they are when no one’s watching.
Here are the traits cheaters have in common.
Cheaters Have These 10 Traits in Common
1. They’re Master Liars
For you to cheat successfully, you need to be a good liar.
So, it’s not surprising that every cheater is a liar.
And I don’t mean they occasionally tell white lies.
I mean lying comes easily to them.
Naturally and without guilt.
They can look you in the eye and lie about where they were, who they were with, what they were doing, and you’d never know.
Because they’ve practiced and they’re good at it.
They don’t get nervous or slip up because lying doesn’t bother them the way it bothers normal people.
Most people feel uncomfortable lying to someone they love.
Their body language gives them away, they avoid eye contact, and they over-explain.
But cheaters have bypassed that discomfort entirely.
Lying is just another tool and a means to an end.
2. They Have a Massive Sense of Entitlement
Every cheater believes they deserve whatever they want, whenever they want it.
The rules that apply to everyone else don’t apply to them.
Nah.
Their needs, their desires, their happiness…. that’s what matters most.
So if they want to cheat, they will because they feel entitled to it.
“I deserve to be happy.”
“I work hard, I should be able to enjoy myself.”
“Life is short, I’m not going to deprive myself.”
Yen yen yen….
They’ve built an entire internal justification system that centers their wants above everything else.
3. They’re Extremely Selfish
I mean, you have to be really selfish to hurt someone you love and still come home to them like nothing happened.
That’s why every cheater is a selfish SOB.
Everything is about them.
Their pleasure, ego, wants, and needs.
Your feelings?
Secondary.
Your trust?
Not their problem.
The commitment they made?
Inconvenient when it conflicts with what they want.
They’re not thinking about how their actions will hurt you because they’re not thinking about you at all.
They’re thinking about themselves.
What feels good to them and what they want in the moment.
And that selfishness doesn’t just show up in cheating; it shows up everywhere.
If someone is fundamentally selfish, cheating is just one of many ways that selfishness will manifest.
4. They Lack Empathy
Empathz is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and feel their pain.
Cheaters can’t or won’t put themselves in your shoes.
They don’t think about how you’d feel finding out.
They don’t imagine the pain, the betrayal, the destruction of trust.
Or if they think about it, it doesn’t stop them because they don’t care enough.
Empathy is what stops most people from doing terrible things.
The ability to feel someone else’s pain and not want to cause it.
Cheaters either don’t have that ability or they’ve turned it off.
Your pain is abstract to them.
Not real enough to matter more than what they want.
5. They’re Impulsive and Live for the Moment
The fear of consequences is what keeps us from misbehaving sometimes.
But cheaters don’t think about consequences.
They think about right now.
“This feels good right now, so I’m doing it.”
No consideration for what happens tomorrow, next week, next year.
No thought for how this decision will affect their relationship, their family, their life, and their reputation.
Just: I want this, so I’m taking it.
They cannot delay gratification because they’re ruled by immediate desires rather than long-term thinking.
And cheating is the ultimate impulsive decision – short-term pleasure with long-term devastation.
6. They’re Master Manipulators
Cheating requires manipulation.
Of you, of the person they’re cheating with, and of everyone around them.
They manipulate timelines, stories, evidence, and events.
They manipulate your perception of reality so you doubt yourself instead of doubting them.
They’ll gaslight you and make you question your own instincts to protect themselves and keep doing what they’re doing.
And manipulation is a skill.
The better they are at it, the longer they get away with cheating.
7. They Need External Validation Constantly
One of the major reasons people cheat is for validation.
That’s why their self-worth is tied to other people finding them attractive and interesting.
They need constant attention and validation that they’re still “got it.”
One person’s attention isn’t enough.
They need multiple people affirming their attractiveness.
It’s why they flirt with everyone, keep exes around, sleep with anyone that shows them a bit of attention, and can’t just be satisfied with the relationship they have.
Because their ego requires feeding from multiple sources, and monogamy feels like deprivation.
8. They Have Weak Boundaries With the Opposite Sex
Just because you are married doesn’t mean other people will not be interested in you or that you won’t even find others attractive.
That’s why everyone who wants to be faithful creates boundaries that guide their relationship with the opposite sex.
Cheaters don’t do this.
They’ll maintain “friendships” that are inappropriate.
They don’t shut down flirtation.
They’ll be comfortable in situations that most committed people would avoid.
And when you express discomfort, they act like you’re being controlling or jealous.
People with firm boundaries protect their relationship.
They don’t put themselves in situations where cheating becomes easy.
Cheaters keep weak boundaries on purpose because those weak boundaries create opportunities.
9. They Blame Others Instead of Taking Accountability
Nothing is ever their fault.
If they cheat, it’s because you weren’t meeting their needs.
You weren’t affectionate enough, you gained weight, you were too busy with the kids, you didn’t give them enough attention…bla bla bla…
Or it’s the other person’s fault…. they came on too strong, they made it hard to say no.
And of course, the go-to excuse: it just happened because they were drunk.
They weren’t thinking, so it didn’t mean anything.
Everyone’s fault except theirs.
Because taking accountability would require admitting they chose to do something terrible.
And they can’t do that.
10. They Compartmentalize
This is the scariest trait because they can cheat on you and then come home and kiss you like nothing happened.
They can lie in bed next to you after being with someone else and sleep peacefully.
Because they’ve mastered compartmentalization.
They put their cheating in one box and their relationship with you in another box, and somehow convince themselves that those boxes don’t touch.
So they’re not lying when they say they love you.
In one compartment, they do.
They’re just also cheating on you in another compartment.
And to them, those two things can coexist without conflict.
That’s not normal.
Most people can’t do that; guilt would eat them alive.
But cheaters can.
And that’s what makes them so dangerous.
Not everyone with these traits will cheat.
And not everyone who cheats has all these traits.
But if you’re seeing multiple red flags here, if the person you’re with is showing several of these patterns, pay attention.
Because these traits don’t just predict cheating.
They predict how someone will treat you in general.
Someone who lies easily will lie to you about more than just cheating.
So, these aren’t just “cheater traits.”
These are “bad partner traits.”
And whether they cheat or not, someone with most of these characteristics will make your life miserable.
The best way to avoid being cheated on isn’t to be perfect.
It’s to not date cheaters in the first place.
May God guide our choice.