Do you know someone who makes you feel like you’re going crazy?
Someone who twists your words and makes you doubt yourself?
If so, then you may be dealing with a gaslighter.
Gaslighting is a manipulative technique used by abusers, dictators, and narcissists to control their victims.
It can be hard to recognize gaslighting behavior in the early stages, but there are ways to expose them for who they are.
Come with me as I share how to identify gaslighting behavior and expose a gaslighter for the abusive person they are:
How to Expose a Gaslighter in Ten Ways
- Be aware of their tactics – gaslighters often use guilt trips, intimidation, and shaming
As anyone who has been the victim of gaslighting knows, these manipulative individuals are experts at making their victims second-guess themselves.
Gaslighters often use guilt trips, intimidation, and shame to control and undermine their victims.
A gaslighter will use words like “you’re too sensitive,” “you’re imagining things,” “you’re overreacting,” and more.
This is a way for them to make you doubt your thoughts and feelings, making you more susceptible to their manipulations.
However, one of the best ways to expose a gaslighter is to be aware of their tactics.
By paying attention to how the gaslighter interacts with you, you can start seeing the pattern of manipulation and control.
If you find yourself being constantly second-guessed or made to feel guilty, chances are you’re dealing with a gaslighter.
Standing up to a gaslighter can be difficult, but it’s important to assert your reality and refuse to be controlled by their manipulations.
2. Take all their manipulation with a grain of salt
Gaslighters are experts at making you doubt yourself; they may even lie outright about things you know to be true to make you doubt yourself.
But that doesn’t mean that their manipulation is always accurate.
In fact, much of what they say is likely to be based on half-truths or outright falsehoods.
Next time they try to gaslight you, take a step back and examine their claims.
Are they really true?
Or are they just another way for the gaslighter to try to control you?
Remember that their manipulations are not reality, no matter how convincing they may be.
3. Don’t be ashamed of your emotions—gaslighters love to make you feel embarrassed about how you’re feeling
One of the ways to expose a gaslighter is to be confident in your emotions.
Gaslighters love to make you feel embarrassed about how you’re feeling, but if you’re unapologetic about your feelings, it makes it harder for them to gaslight you.
When a gaslighter tries to make you feel ashamed of your emotions, just remember—you have nothing to be ashamed of.
You’re entitled to feel however you want, and no one can take that away from you.
If you’re feeling upset, scared, or any other negative emotion, know that it’s normal and valid.
No matter what a gaslighter says, your emotions are not wrong or bad—they are simply how you’re feeling in response to the situation.
Honor your emotions and trust them as a guide to how you’re feeling.
4. Don’t try and argue with a gaslighter
Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship with a gaslighter knows that it’s impossible to win an argument with them.
Gaslighters thrive on being sneaky and manipulative, so arguing will only give them more fuel for their fire.
As they are experts at twisting words and manipulating reality, engaging in an argument will only leave you feeling frustrated and confused.
To destroy a gaslighter, refuse to engage in their game.
By not rising to the bait and instead walking away, you’ll be frustrating the gaslighter and depriving them of the power they crave.
Whenever you’re tempted to argue with a gaslighter, just remember: it’s not worth your time or energy.
5. Listen carefully to what they say, and then ask questions that force them to explain themselves
One of the easiest ways to turn the tables on a gaslighter is to simply listen carefully to what they say.
Gaslighters often contradict themselves or make statements that don’t add up.
Asking questions that force them to explain themselves can be an effective way to smoke them out.
For example, you might ask a gaslighter how they could know something they claimed to have witnessed firsthand.
Or, you might point out a discrepancy between what they said last week and what they’re saying now.
Gaslighters will often crumble under scrutiny, so don’t hesitate to ask tough questions.
6. Keep records of what they say and when—to keep track of their behavior over time
By keeping a record of their words and actions, you’ll be able to see patterns emerge and catch them in their lies.
Gaslighters often try to play the victim or downplay their role in a conflict, so it’s important to have evidence on hand to refute their claims.
If you can keep a clear head and document the gaslighter’s behavior, you’ll be one step closer to taking back control of your life.
If the laws of your country do not forbid it, you can make an audio or video recording without the knowledge of a gaslighter.
This will serve as a piece of irrefutable evidence against them—with you and anywhere, e.g., in a court of law.
7. Check your facts and make sure you’re not the one who’s misremembering things or making things up
Of course, it’s also possible you’re just forgetful, or the other person has a better memory than you.
So, before you start accusing someone of gaslighting, make sure you’re not the one who’s misremembering things or making things up.
Otherwise, you might be the one who needs to check your facts.
If you’re unsure whether or not you’re being gaslit, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or another trusted individual who can help you sort out what’s happening.
8. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and stand up for yourself
Gaslighters rely on their victims being afraid to stand up for themselves, so you can take away their power by being assertive.
Of course, this can be easier said than done, particularly if you’re used to being a doormat.
But remember that you have a right to be respected and don’t have to deal with bad behavior.
So next time someone tries to gaslight you, don’t be afraid to speak up and set a boundary.
It might just be the most empowering thing you ever do.
9. Talk to someone you trust about what’s going on in your relationship
If you think you’re being gaslit, don’t suffer in silence—reach out to someone you trust for support.
Talk to them about what’s going on in your relationship.
Gaslighters are experts at playing mind games, but they can’t control what you say to other people.
By talking to someone else about what’s going on, you can get a reality check and start to see your relationship more clearly.
You might also want to consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the emotional damage that gaslighting can cause.
10. Join a support group
Gaslighters rely on their victims being isolated and alone so that they can control the narrative.
But when you join a support group, you instantly have access to others who have been through the same thing.
This can help you see the gaslighter for what they are and give you the strength to stand up to them.
So if you’re ready to take the next step in exposing a gaslighter, join a support group today.
By following these ten steps, you can start to expose a gaslighter for who they are and take back control of your life.
Remember, you are not crazy—you are simply dealing with a manipulative individual.
With time and patience, you can learn how to stand up to them and protect yourself from their abuse.