Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt like they were using you?
Like they didn’t care about you and only wanted what they could get from you?
If so, then you may have been involved with a narcissist.
Narcissists are often very good at manipulating people and can make us feel like we’re the only one who matters.
The following are signs a narcissist is using you:
16 Signs a Narcissist is Using You
1. Everything is about them; they never consider your feelings or needs
At first glance, narcissists can be extremely charming and persuasive.
They often come across as confident and enthusiastic, and they can be very good at making others feel special.
However, narcissists are primarily concerned with themselves, and they will often use others to get what they want.
One of the signs a narcissist is using you is that you feel ignored or unimportant because your needs are never met.
Not because you are demanding or needy but because your narcissistic partner never considers your feelings or needs.
The totality of your relationship is all about meeting their needs and not a single one of yours.
So, you keep giving and giving- time, money, energy, and resources while you receive nothing in return.
2. You are always walking on eggshells around them
If you feel like you’re always treading carefully around your partner and tiptoeing to avoid their anger or criticism, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
Narcissists can be very quick to anger and may lash out at you over something that seems minor or even nonexistent.
They may also try to control you with their words or actions, making you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
This is another manipulation technique to get you to do their bidding.
Because you are likely to do whatever they say to avoid their quick temper.
3. They take advantage of your kindness
Narcissists often take advantage of kind and compassionate people.
They know that you’re the type of person who is always willing to help others, and they will use this to their advantage.
They may make you feel like you owe them favors or that you’re responsible for their happiness.
Narcissists see themselves as victims, and they will often play the victim card to gain sympathy or pity.
They may make you feel sorry for them or try to get you to feel guilty about their problems.
They may also guilt you into doing things that you don’t want to do or that are not in your best interest.
In short, narcissists are entitled human beings, and their entitlement mentality is annoying!
If you keep doing things for your partner despite their being ungrateful and disloyal, they are taking advantage of your kindness.
And it’s one of the signs a narcissist is using you.
4. They are never wrong, and they will never apologize
Narcissists hate to admit that they’re wrong, and they will never apologize, even when they know they should.
Instead, they will try to deflect responsibility or blame someone else.
This can leave you feeling frustrated, hurt, and powerless.
You may find yourself constantly trying to prove them wrong or get them to see your point of view, but it’s unlikely that you’ll ever be successful.
So you end up apologizing even when they are wrong, and you are right because they’ll never say sorry.
5. They refuse to get a job
Narcissists often expect others to support them financially.
They may refuse to get a job or contribute to the household expenses, leaving you to shoulder the burden.
They may also make large financial demands, such as asking you to buy expensive gifts or loan them money.
Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement and believe that they are entitled to your money and possessions.
If you find yourself constantly giving financial support to your partner without any expectation of reciprocity, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
6. They are always the center of attention
Narcissists need to be the center of attention and will do whatever it takes to make sure that they are.
They may monopolize conversations, talk about themselves incessantly, or interrupt others so they can steer the conversation back to themselves.
They may also try to upstage you or make you feel inferior.
Narcissists need to feel like they are better than everyone else, and they will use you to boost their ego.
7. They send away everyone from your life
Narcissists often try to isolate their partners from their friends and family.
They may do this by making negative comments about the people in your life, telling you that they don’t like them or don’t approve of them.
They may also try to keep you away from these people by monopolizing your time or making demands on your time and energy.
Narcissists want you to be completely devoted to them and will do whatever it takes to ensure that you are.
This is all to get you to do their bidding.
If you notice your partner’s constant attempt to keep you away from the people who are important to you, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
8. They constantly criticize and belittle you
Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and one of their favorite tricks is to use criticism and belittling comments to control their partners.
They may do this in public or in private, but either way, it can be very hurtful.
These comments may make you feel like you’re never good enough or that you can never do anything right.
Over time, this constant criticism can erode your self-confidence and make you doubt yourself.
If you find yourself constantly being criticized and belittled by your partner, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
Because you feel they are the ones who can only love you and no one else will desire you.
9. They are never there for you when you need them
Narcissists often make promises that they never keep.
They may say that they will be there for you when you need them, but when the time comes, they’re nowhere to be found.
They may also make empty promises to change or do better, only to continue the same patterns of behavior.
Narcissists will often say what you want to hear, but their actions don’t match their words.
If you find yourself always being the one who is there for your partner, but they are never there for you, it’s one of the signs a narcissist is using you.
10. They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse designed to make you question your memories, perceptions, and sanity.
Narcissists are experts at gaslighting and will use it to control and manipulate you.
They may deny things that you know to be true, tell you that you’re imagining things, or make you question your memories and experiences.
Gaslighting can be very confusing and traumatizing, and it’s one of the signs that a narcissist is using you.
11. Your family and friends are concerned about you and warn you about them
If the people who love you are concerned about your relationship and have warned you about your partner’s behavior, it’s a sign that a narcissist is using you.
Narcissists are often very charming and charismatic, and they can be very good at hiding their true colors from the people who matter most to their victims.
But those who are not in love with them like you do can see through their facade, and they may try to warn you about what they see.
If a narcissist is using you, chances are that your family and friends have tried to tell you.
12. They are only nice to you when they want things from you
Narcissists are often charming and charismatic, but their behavior is often a façade.
They may be nice to you when they want something from you, but as soon as they get what they want, their true colors come out.
They may become cold, distant, and even abusive.
If you find that your partner is only nice to you when they want something from you, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
13. You are not happy and feel drained and trapped with them
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’re probably not happy.
You may feel drained, trapped, and even miserable.
Narcissists are often emotionally and psychologically abusive, and they can take a toll on your mental and physical health.
If you’re not happy in your relationship and feel trapped and drained, it’s a sign that a narcissist is using you.
14. You’ve lost yourself in the relationship
If you’ve lost yourself in your relationship with a narcissist, it’s a sign that they are using you.
Narcissists are often very controlling and manipulative, and they can take over your life if you let them.
They may tell you what to do, how to dress, who to spend time with, and where to go.
They may try to control every aspect of your life and make you lose yourself.
15. They want your help, but they never listen or take to your advice
If you find yourself always helping your partner, but they never listen to your advice or take your suggestions, it’s a sign that a narcissist is using you.
Narcissists often want the help of their partners, but they never actually take to their advice or suggestions.
Instead, they use their partners for emotional support and validation while continuing to do things their own way.
If you’re constantly being used as a sounding board, but your partner never takes your advice, it’s a sign that they’re using you.
16. You’ve given up your hobbies and interests for them
If you’ve given up your hobbies and interests to spend more time with your partner, it’s a sign that a narcissist is using you.
Narcissists often want their partners to be completely devoted to them, and they may try to control their every move.
They may want you to spend all your time with them, and they may get angry or jealous if you pursue your own interests.
If you notice any of these signs in your relationship, it’s important to ask yourself what is most important to you – being in a relationship or your peace of mind.
Narcissistic abuse can be very damaging, and it’s important to protect yourself from it.
If you choose your sanity and need help getting out of a narcissistic relationship, reach out to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friends and family for support.